I guess it’s a good thing…

I guess it’s a good thing I am so stubborn… I am determined to reach my weight loss goal… no matter what… I do have ups and downs… some days are better than others… some days I feel like I “can’t do it” but I know, deep down… I am never going to quit this! I can’t just “walk away” from it… defeated… I can’t give up my dream of reaching a normal weight… I am not even pursuing a “skinny or perfect body” I just want to reach a healthy weight! Today… I went to the dr. again, another one because the previous one, well… you probably read about it here already… let’s just say “she wasn’t good” … anyway… This doctor explained to me that the thyroid hormone (T4) is produced by the thyroid (obviously) and there is another hormone that is in charge of “stimulating” the thyroid (TSH) so the T4 hormone is produced… Well… it turns out that my T4 hormone is in the normal range… (HUH????!!!) and that they just thought they would give me more of that T4 hormone (synthroid) just because the TSH was a little elevated, which, seems to mean that my thyroid might  be having to work a little harder to produce the T4 and that’s why the TSH levels are elevated… BUT … everything is “pretty much within range” (WHAT?) the doctor touched my neck and she says that she does feel like my thyroid might be a little swollen but … and then she said it… “Does anybody in your family have LUPUS?” … No! Nobody in my family has lupus, she mentioned that because of my “RA history” and the sensitivity of my skin, the tiredness and weight issues… she thinks I might have lupus and that all the symptoms might seem “independent” from each other but it might all be connected… she mentioned that RA is very aggressive and since I am not being treated and “just from looking at me” she can almost for sure say I have no RA… she says that Lupus is not as aggressive with the joints and that those “flare ups” come in “waves” sporadically … and that’s what makes her think I might have Lupus… She referred me to a rheumatologist and I have an appt. with him on the 31st. this month… -sigh- She mentioned that the test I got done almost a year ago to check for Lupus (the name of the test is ANA ) is not conclusive… I still got some lab tests done today again to keep an eye on my thyroid (My mom’s side of the family has big, big thyroid issues, one of my uncles was just diagnosed with thyroid cancer last week even) but that I should still get tested for Lupus… So I am just praying and waiting… Working and Fighting… Today’s work out was great and my eating has been great… One day at a time! One day at a time!


The Thin Lady Inside