Here and Now…

This eating healthy again is a “here and now” kind of thing.. Of course I have a set mind and a goal and I am planning ahead to EAT HEALTHY but at the same time I have to resist temptations as they happen and make decisions… HERE and NOW …

Yesterday… I didn’t bake anything for hubby… even when he called me to tell me that he had had some issues at work… he knows that whenever there’s something “wrong” I immediately bake something… and it did cross my mind but I didn’t know if I would be strong enough to bake and not eat… when he came home and didn’t see a dessert he was disappointed… didn’t complain… I guess he was just a bit shocked… so I whipped some chocolate-chocolate chip cookies … and when they were out of the oven he attacked them and ooo’d and aaaa’d over them … How is one supposed to resist that? Well… I guess by resisting it… period… Just say NO … here and now! That’s the hardest thing… but once you’ve done it you feel better! And that’s what I did… the temptation was there… the thoughts of “it’s just one cookie” and “I can burn it off” and “I’ve done pretty well today anyway” did cross my mind… but I shooed those thoughts away and had my cup of coffee without cookies and immediately felt stronger and proud! Rather than enjoy chocolate flavor in my mind for less than a minute loaded with guilt, despair and thoughts of failure… I enjoyed a clean mouth with lots of pride and a boost for my will power.

I am not saying each temptation will become a victory… I am just saying that IT CAN! and it did… at least for last night… and as I continue with my day today… I have that victory in my bag… and the memory of “how good it feels to be strong” to help me make my next tough choice!

Yesterday I managed to keep my calories at 1500 … after my “who knows how many thousands” calorie days I’d say I did pretty good… I’ll continue to work towards bringing that number to “my number” where I lose weight… My scale already showed a .4 pound loss … and I know it will keep going down!

The Thin/Strong Lady Inside

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You can still do something…

Hello everybody, here I am, “interrupting” my vacation just to report how things are going

We are having a grand time! Enjoying visiting with family, friends and just loving the cooler weather in Wisconsin! tomorrow we will go apple picking, so I am excited! I love doing that! And hubby is planning on taking me to dinner on Thursday, just the two of us while the girls stay with their grandparents… we’ll go to a nice place where he took me on my first trip up to Wisconsin… “Beans&Barley”, it’s a “Deli, Market, Cafe” kind of place, very trendy, healthy and just … for me… well… romantic… because again, that was the first place where we went out on a date when I first visited from Mexico… so it will be a nice trip down memory road! right? 🙂 As you might now… our dates were always “e-mails and phone calls” because of the distance, and meeting in e-harmony… so… we DO REMEMBER and treasure each date we had in person back then! 🙂

So… I’ve been doing good with the eating… yesterday not so much… but I still didn’t go overboard… my worst sin was a sausage/cream cheese dip with tostitos! It was sooo good! but considering we are on vacation and we’ve been having family get togethers with all kinds of food I’ve been doing great, Saturday I ate 1350 calories, regardless of the party, regardless of the snacking, I filled myself with lots of water and veggies… I also went for a run around the area… it was such a gorgeous day and I burned plenty of calories! Yesterday was the hard one, as I said, but I still didn’t pass the 2000 calories (although, almost did!) and didn’t exercise! It was just busy from morning to night just eating and visiting with people … today I went for a walk with one of hubby’s aunts and his father’s wife… walked for an hour and burned a little over 400 calories with it! Ate about 1500 calories total!

So… I am definitely proving to myself you can still DO SOMETHING during vacation! I am very proud of myself because even during our road trip I did awesome… only drinking water and eating only what I needed, not what I wanted! Oh my goodness! That proved to be a big test and I am happy I passed it with an A+ ! Even hubby was shocked! we drove 24 “almost straight” hours (with stops just to eat and go to the bathroom and only once to sleep for an hour) and still… I stayed strong! Hubby kept stopping to buy candy bars, cheesy popcorn, snacks, soda, coffee, etc… and I still remained strong! Trust me… it wasn’t easy! I had doughnuts, cheetos and chocolate covered raisins in my mind! But only when we had to stop for a main meal I would eat… we had breakfast at Dennys and I only ate 2 pancakes without butter and just 1 tbsp. of maple syrup (less than 400 calories) and for lunch we had Subway… (light Ranch Dressing in a 6″ sub) … so… I am happy regardless of yesterday’s indulging!

Have to go now… my girls are giggling in the other room when they should be sleeping… it will be a busy day tomorrow!

Birthday cake!

Hello everybody! Here I am, doing good, just super busy though… I had to bake cookies and cake for my birthday girl! I can’t believe she turned 5! How did that happen? I was just holding her for the first time not long ago and … she is 5??? How dare she? 🙂 Here is the birthday girl and what I made for her:

 

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She wanted a cat (but not kitty) on her cakes… so, there’s the cat! 😀

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When I was making them I thought the petals resembled “bunny ears” so these would be good for Easter too 😛

We were very blessed with lots of friends who came over and celebrated with us yesterday… and I didn’t even have a slice of cake… trust me… I really wanted to… and I had perfect excuses in my head “it’s your daughter’s birthday! How come are you not eating cake” but my daughter was having so much fun with her friends she could’ve cared less if I ate cake or not… so I was not “offending anybody” by not eating… and I stayed strong!

Today I weigh: 173.5 pounds… which is a whole other pound I’ve lost! It’s not a lot… and it’s not fast… but it’s consistent! And I am just thrilled to not be stuck between 178-182 anymore! I hope I’ll continue going this way! It hasn’t been easy… it sure hasn’t! I have been so hungry these few days… but I am staying strong!

🙂 Just wanted to make sure I stopped by and shared with all of you

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 5 – 85 Days to go

Having a plan, whatever it is, but something that you have already determined in your mind that you will do really helps… at least that’s my case… Saying in advance that “I’ll do this” or ” I will not do that” helps me because I’ve already set clear expectations of what is going to happen and I can easily identify if I am doing something that will keep me from it… I t also helps me being so stubborn because… when I feel like doing what I said I wouldn’t do … or not doing what I said I would… there’s this thing inside of me… that says “hey, but you said something different” … anyway… knowing that I have already determined to “stay sober” for 90 days really helps… I can’t allow myself to “cheat” because then the “90 day goal would be further” (I would have to start all over again, because hey, even if I break this… at some point… it wouldn’t mean the war is over! Right?) So… I guess what I am trying to say is: “Yesterday was hard” and at some point I felt like forgetting about my goals and binging… I am glad I didn’t… it was hard and tears were shed… but I remained strong… the day could’ve gone better but I will not dwell on that… I still stayed in control when I actually felt like just giving in… So… I didn’t exercise twice… I only exercised in the morning… It started pouring while my friend and I were in our walk… So I say that my “treadmill included shower” LOL… So I took a picture of my “treadmill” (once the rain was over and I was headed back home)

IMG_7129[1]This is the area where we walk/run

So after my morning walk I headed home and that’s when the “temptations” started… I really felt the “need” to weigh myself… I soooo wanted to get on the scale and “see” if there’s any change, but I drank a lot of water to avoid that temptation thinking “now I can’t know for sure how much I exactly weigh” … still the need to “know” was present with me the whole day!

Later in the day I was just HUNGRY! Too hungry! I don’t even know why… but it wasn’t the normal “I am hungry, let’s eat an apple” it was a desperate, anxious “I am hungry I want to eat it all and not care about anything” so when I feel like that I KNOW, I JUST KNOW that it’s more emotional than physical and even if I ate something it just “wouldn’t go away” … at night, when I just “couldn’t take it anymore” I decided to have “chicken breast” for dinner… I felt it would be the more fulfilling option and least “sinful” option for me… So I ate chicken and drank water, I had some more chicken and avoided the rice! I did go over my 1200 calories for the day, I ended a little over 1400 but still had a good calorie deficit for the day! -whew- I feel like I dodged that bullet and even when not everything went as planned, it wasn’t a “train wreck” like it could’ve been! So…. struggling and all… I completed Day 5 of my 90 Day short term goal…

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 5 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside