2 cakes and 10 Pies later…

Hello everybody… I am back… It’s just been so busy days… and I’ve been struggling with my eating… a lot! I do good for most of the day and then end up splurging at night… I don’t know how much I weigh but at least I did great all day (and night) yesterday and started running again… I mean… I continued to walk in the mornings but wasn’t running at all.. now… I am running with my friend again, she walks and I “run next to her” even if sometimes I end up running in place so that we stayed together.

Also… I’ve been baking a lot… but that’s not my root of my overeating… I just decided to sell pies this fall… and I got several orders all together… First 2 pumpkin pies

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One of the pumpkin pies… They were both delicious perfection!

And then 8 apple pies (plus a rustic apple gallette for our home Bible Study)

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I made 6 of the pies (and the apple gallette) in one day…. each pie has 6 apples, my arms were sore from the peeling/coring/slicing.

 Everybody has loved my pies… I was worried because they are expensive compared to stores… but people have not only been paying… they have also thanked me, told me my pies are “the best they’ve ever had” and/or even given me random hugs to thank me for such deliciousness! You have no idea how good it feels!

Anyway… today I will have people over to help eat a big cake I made (I will share about that cake on some other post maybe) and I already did my running. It’s getting easier… it just requires me to continue to stay focused and have “a couple of rough days” to get back in the groove.

The Thin Lady Inside

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What’s going on…

Hello peeps! We had a WONDERFUL, just wonderful time in Wisconsin… and I did pretty good with my eating and staying active… BUT… BUT…. yes… there’s a BUT… the return wasn’t that smooth… well… first of all… I got sick right the day before we started our trip back home… I completely lost my voice! That was the day I was going to have my “date” with hubby at the same restaurant when we first went on a date there… and… well… I couldn’t speak! I still didn’t want to let that ruin my time so I guess I was a “very good listener” LOL! although my throat was killing me!

I am so happy our first date was at a “Health Food place” because it’s easy to go there again and order good stuff… Here’s what I ate:

Tuna Melt with Alfalfa Sprouts and Indian Rice

Tuna Melt with Alfalfa Sprouts and Indian Rice

Then we went to our favorite coffee shop, the name of that place used to be “Alterra” but they sold the name to Mars Inc. so it’s now “Colectivo”. I still love the place!

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I had a “cortado” 1/2 espresso 1/2 milk foam and he had his usual strong black coffee

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“Alterra” (or Colectivo now) uses old historical buildings for their shops, this is in the old water pump building that used to supply water from Lake Michigan to the city of Milwaukee

So, date was “fine” and pretty silent… but it was nice to go to those places. Then, Friday we began our journey back home and for some reason… I just ate! It’s like I almost “ruined” the entire time of vacation that I did good… -sigh- back home I checked my weight and I gained 3 pounds (in those 2 days of traveling back) – I am going to blame it on the fact that it was too hard being silent… so… how else could I use my time on a road trip? well… I ate! Back home I have struggled to get back in line but I already lost some of the weight I gained… I am positive and setting new goals for myself… I am right now 176 pounds and I want to be in the 160’s by the end of the year (even if it’s 169.9 LOL!). It is also nice to get back into my routine of my morning walks as well!

My voice… well… it’s coming back (although still pretty raspy) but at least I feel much better.

That’s it for  now…

Thanks for being patient with me.

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 11 – 79 to Go: Barely made it!

Hello everybody! Yesterday (Friday) was overall ok… My littlest one was still sick, nothing major she just has a cold and seems very clingy, whenever my kids get sick,even if just a little bit, I get very stressed out… stress… not a good thing for someone who is trying to keep food addiction controlled! I managed to do ok still during the day, watching what I ate, etc… then my friend (running pal) she finally returned from camp, I was very excited, making plans in my mind of my week ahead and things looked like this in my head: “walking everyday in the morning with her, running at night! Great!!” BUT, she told me she is leaving again for vacation, she is leaving today to a beach in Florida and will be gone all week with her family, so she needs someone to go take care of her dogs, twice a day, morning and evening, for the week… I am of course thrilled to help! She is my friend, she’s there for me all the time, it’s the least I can do for her… But… again… changing plans in my head isn’t a good thing either… Now… I am not looking forward to this week at all! It means in the morning I’ll have to go to her house to take care of her dogs, feed them, get them in the yard, make sure they have water and feed the fish, I am thinking I will have to do that before hubby goes to work that way I don’t have to get the girls out later (my friend left her daughter’s car with me because I don’t have one now). So, no going to the gym in the morning because I’ll use that time for the dogs…. I don’t want to take the girls with me later because (sorry if I sound crazy paranoid) but because they have a very nice house (my friends) and I am afraid someone could break in in the night and what if someone is there! I don’t know… the house is so big I get afraid of those things… I’ve heard there have been break-ins in that area lately… and I don’t want to go by myself with my little ones and expose us all to anything… PLUS, my girls are terrified of the dogs and being on my own with the girls hugging my legs screaming while I try to feed and give water to the dogs is honestly an almost impossible task! Last time the younger dog ran away from me and got out of the fence and also tangled the leash around my ankles because she’s full of energy and gets too excited to get out so… it’s a bunch of things that make it hard for me to think about taking the girls… anyway… then at night, I think hubby will have to be the one going to visit those dogs which means the time I use to exercise while he plays with the girls “is gone” for the week… I know it’s probably way worse in my mind than it actually will be in real life… I guess the worst thing is just the fact that I had already “planned out my week” *so perfect* and then everything changed… I know I will have to make it work and I will be fine… I guess it just wasn’t a good day to receive “the news” for me already… So… I was feeling anxious and feeling like eating! Then hubby came back with still plenty potato salad that I sent with him for the potluck… I love that stupid potato salad (LOL) so I just opened the bowl and started eating… I am so happy I stopped myself “on time” before ruining my whole day! I just put it away and in the fridge… I kept trying to open the fridge and then would just stop myself SEEING what I was doing!!! It was a struggle but I think I managed to get out of it! Unfortunately that potato salad has lots of potatoes (obviously), eggs, bacon and mayo (besides celery, parsley, red onions, apple cider vinegar and mustard), so 1 cup of that salad is plenty of calories!

Here’s how my day ended though:

Calories burned: 2157 (this has been my lowest since I started my 90 days)

Calorie intake: 1554 (this has been my highest since I started as well)

Calorie deficit: 603 -whew-

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… and I am struggling… I’ve been sober for 11 days (although I almost didn’t make it yesterday)… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 7 – 83 to go: No running pal!

Hello everybody… Here I am to report how yesterday went! It was the 7th day of this 90 day program that I’ve made for myself in hopes of “shocking my body” and hopefully seeing some difference… The “rules” for these 90 Days are:

1. No scale

2. Exercising consistently – no excuses – (I was already doing that, I am just trying to do it twice a day now instead of only once) – except for one day of rest in the week –

3. Staying at 1200-1400 calories (trying to hit the 1200 rather than the 1400)

If you’ve been following this blog you know I haven’t lost weight for a long year (a little more than that) regardless of the fact that I SHOULD be losing because I always have a calorie deficit… BUT after I found out that I have some issues (not major) with my thyroid, etc… I realized getting rid of the rest would be harder than I thought… And the problem I was running into was that I was eating more than 1200 calories every day… and then I would get discouraged because I wouldn’t see any change on the scale and I would just go into BINGING mode…  so I am sure that wasn’t helping my “weight loss efforts” particularly with the slower metabolism I have … I can’t afford those days of discouragement and excuses! So… I decided to do this for 90 days, as strictly as I can and without looking at the numbers on a scale! Those just bring me down! And hopefully, after these 90 days… I will see even if at least a little bit of change… or even if just more strength to keep going!

So… Yesterday was my 7th day… My running pal is on a summer camp right now (watching after middle schoolers) so I am on my own this week… Our morning walks are suspended for the week just because it’s too dark outside for me to go on my own (we have had several “scares” the two of us together so I can’t risk it on my own). I will be going to the gym in the mornings instead for my walk … yesterday, I just couldn’t get up to go to the gym in the morning though… I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and then my girl (4 yr. old) was coughing at night and ended up sleeping by me so in the morning I came back to consciousness at 8:30 a.m. when hubby had already left for work) But at night I went to the gym when he arrived and I ran for an hour on the treadmill… It felt intense but it was really good! I burned over 700 calories there. I had to make some adjustments with my eating and skim my nightly ice cream treat because I used all of my calories during the day… I was just hungry! And that’s what I’ve noticed about not exercising in the morning, it makes it harder for me to stay in control with the food during the day (weird!) So I ate 1400 calories and burned a total of 2500 calories, giving me a calorie deficit of 1100 for the day! Which is good (but I always want MORE!).

It was a good day overall… Let’s see how it goes today… Tuesdays are my day to rest and I won’t be running… I will have to keep my calories down today… I am looking forward to watching “Extreme Weight Loss” tonight! It’s always a great motivator!

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 7 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 5 – 85 Days to go

Having a plan, whatever it is, but something that you have already determined in your mind that you will do really helps… at least that’s my case… Saying in advance that “I’ll do this” or ” I will not do that” helps me because I’ve already set clear expectations of what is going to happen and I can easily identify if I am doing something that will keep me from it… I t also helps me being so stubborn because… when I feel like doing what I said I wouldn’t do … or not doing what I said I would… there’s this thing inside of me… that says “hey, but you said something different” … anyway… knowing that I have already determined to “stay sober” for 90 days really helps… I can’t allow myself to “cheat” because then the “90 day goal would be further” (I would have to start all over again, because hey, even if I break this… at some point… it wouldn’t mean the war is over! Right?) So… I guess what I am trying to say is: “Yesterday was hard” and at some point I felt like forgetting about my goals and binging… I am glad I didn’t… it was hard and tears were shed… but I remained strong… the day could’ve gone better but I will not dwell on that… I still stayed in control when I actually felt like just giving in… So… I didn’t exercise twice… I only exercised in the morning… It started pouring while my friend and I were in our walk… So I say that my “treadmill included shower” LOL… So I took a picture of my “treadmill” (once the rain was over and I was headed back home)

IMG_7129[1]This is the area where we walk/run

So after my morning walk I headed home and that’s when the “temptations” started… I really felt the “need” to weigh myself… I soooo wanted to get on the scale and “see” if there’s any change, but I drank a lot of water to avoid that temptation thinking “now I can’t know for sure how much I exactly weigh” … still the need to “know” was present with me the whole day!

Later in the day I was just HUNGRY! Too hungry! I don’t even know why… but it wasn’t the normal “I am hungry, let’s eat an apple” it was a desperate, anxious “I am hungry I want to eat it all and not care about anything” so when I feel like that I KNOW, I JUST KNOW that it’s more emotional than physical and even if I ate something it just “wouldn’t go away” … at night, when I just “couldn’t take it anymore” I decided to have “chicken breast” for dinner… I felt it would be the more fulfilling option and least “sinful” option for me… So I ate chicken and drank water, I had some more chicken and avoided the rice! I did go over my 1200 calories for the day, I ended a little over 1400 but still had a good calorie deficit for the day! -whew- I feel like I dodged that bullet and even when not everything went as planned, it wasn’t a “train wreck” like it could’ve been! So…. struggling and all… I completed Day 5 of my 90 Day short term goal…

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 5 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside

Not quite Day 5 yet…

Ok… this morning I wrote about my Day 4 of these new 90 day goal that I’ve set for myself… anyway… Day 5 is not over yet… and as usual I will write about it tomorrow morning… but to make it be a successful day I had to come and pretty much vent here… I am having a very hard time right now… I am anxiously hungry right now… I want to eat, eat, EAT! I’ve managed to dodge all the things the day has thrown at me and as I type hubby took the girls to Culver’s for ice cream… so, I am on my own … and you can say I REALLY DODGED that one too… Hubby, joking around, came by me and said “come on, come with us, think about a double butter burger!” (which I love) and even when I knew he was just playing with me and didn’t mean to “hurt me” in my process I guess I wasn’t up for jokes and I actually got tears in my eyes… It’s just a hard day… a very hard day… One of those days when I just would’ve wanted to say “yes, take me there! I’ll have that burger with extra cheese, fries and soda” but I didn’t do it… I stayed home and I am here… making dinner for when they come back… I actually ate my dinner already and I am just hoping all these “evil thoughts” will soon go away… wow… it’s hard! So… when hubby comes back with the girls I’ll just leave them eating and I’ll hit the gym… at least that’s my plan… but I just wanted to come and write about it… to “expose all my thoughts” , put it all out there… because hiding… hiding is another bad habit that never ends good! So… sorry for doubling posting on a day…

The Thin Lady Inside.

Day 4 – 86 Days to Go

Hello! Day 4 of my “90 days without a scale, eating healthy ALL THE TIME and exercising at least twice a day instead of once” went great…

I walked in the morning, 3.5 miles, then came back home and had a “Muller” for breakfast (and coffee)… have you tried that Greek Yoghurt by Quaker? Muller? it’s good! I love Greek Yoghurt and the fruit in this one is really good!  it’s almost as good as if you had bought fresh fruit and just pureed it yourself! I am lovin’ it!

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 I then took a nap (have I mentioned I am still very tired? We’ll see what the tests say about that) later the day went as usual, cleaning, feeding the girls, singing with them, homeschooling my 4 yr. old, etc… Normal stuff. Later I even did my rowing machine again (it’s been a while) and I was disappointed to see I could only do 10 mins. on it (man! THAT’s HARD!!) I can’t believe I was already doing 40 min. in a row! (no pun intended).

Later in the evening, as soon as hubby got home from work I walked out the door to go to the gym… I try not to stay around too long when he gets home because I enjoy being with him so much that I will not want to leave if we start talking! So, I had his dinner ready and I myself was with the keys in my hand ready to just “run away” from him and the temptation of just sitting on the couch to watch TV with him… “let’s get this over with” was my kind of attitude! … I went to the gym and ran 35 mins. on the treadmill (yes, it gets boring there, but 7 p.m. in Texas is still pretty sunny and hot, I am not running outside at 97 degrees and with 85% humidity! I know my limitations) I burned about 550 calories for a total of a little over 1000 calories burned from exercise (morning walk/rowing machine/evening run)… NOT BAD!

I had a calorie deficit of about 1500! for the day! My calorie intake was 1238… I am very proud of myself!

Yesterday I did have some more of my traditional temptations come my way… I also struggled with some “ol’ way of thinking” and “horrible bad habits” but I am happy I identified them all and defeated them! My two biggest temptations yesterday were:

1. My little one didn’t eat all of her food… I could’ve just finished it, yes, I am embarrassed to admit it but I used to do that all the time.

2. There was a pot of leftover delicious rice (rice, pasta and potatoes are big weaknesses for me) on the stove top… I felt like eating it all with a spoon, I actually GRABBED THE SPOON!!! but instead of putting it in my mouth (like I wanted to) I was strong enough to clear the area quickly, put the rice in a container and in the fridge, once I wiped it all with spray cleaner I felt much better and at ease. (it’s weird how these “attacks” come! it’s almost like something stronger than you! I could swear I am going to start shaking from wanting to eat something SOOO BAD!)

So… I had a very successful day! I must say I KNOW not weighing myself is a big part of it! Because I know if I had seen “the numbers” in the morning and I hadn’t lost any weight I would’ve found it harder to have any strength to resist the temptations.

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 4 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside