Hanging in there

After the disappointment of my weight gain… followed by binging with Nutella and then having a hard time to get back on track and going over my “ideal calorie intake” for a few days I am going back to MY normal… running even more and eating great… I think that my few days of “freedom” (although they actually felt very “entrapping”) something might have kicked in that I actually lost some weight, not much, but I wasn’t expecting that…

Right now I am baking carrot cake for hubby. Baking , for me, is like “cheap” therapy… I enjoy it SO MUCH… I’d love to be able to eat what I bake but baking is “good enough” by itself.

Thanks for hanging in there with me and being patient with this me as I fluctuate more than my weight… I hope I’ll be running a 5k in November 10th… Looking forward to it.

The Thin Lady Inside

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Discipline and Reward!

Hello everybody… yes… another post… how cool! I might get “in the zone” again! So… last night we had our “LifeGroup Social” from church… as I mentioned in my previous post it was at a gym… all of the guys played volleyball… and about 3 gals joined them… the rest of us ladies stayed on the side… just looking at them play and talking about .. ehem… well.. vaginas… why do we always have to go there??? Honestly! Am I in THAT age where all the conversations end there? I mean… and it wasn’t anything dirty of course… after all our conversations are pretty edifying and clean… but… then… the gynecological conversations begin when one mentions a “weird pain” and another mentions a “necessary exam or surgery” or the discomforts of it… the fears of cancer … the lumps… etc… it all makes me shiver! I tried to stay focus on the game … that conversation could’ve made me either eat more to find some kind of “safe place” in my mind… but I tried to use it towards NOT EATING AT ALL… and that’s what I did… I didn’t touch the pizza and all the amazing desserts that people brought… you should’ve seen it! There’s a place called “Nothing Bundt Cake” and they sell super cute and tiny bundt cakes in very cute wrappers like cupcakes all with frosting in a super cute swirl for each individual cake… and still… I didn’t touch anything! I tried to stay busy hoping to get good “shots” of the players!

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The game was actually way more relaxed than I thought! I could’ve actually played! Nobody was really getting too competitive!) There were people even kicking the ball! LOL! It was all fun! I still am afraid of ridicule and didn’t even try to play!

So… I was a little moody and frustrated to begin with … not my best attitude at all.. but being inย  a place where I wouldn’t be able to do the only things that were done… eat/exercise (or then find out that I wouldn’t really want to jump into that conversation) made me feel a bit snappy! At least we left the place pretty early (9 p.m.) to go get our little ones in bed (who were in childcare at church, for free!) and I did as I had planned! I got home and I enjoyed a cup of coffee with sugar free pumpkin spice creamer. Ah! I felt proud of myself! It did help me to stay motivated the fact that some people asked me “how much more I’ve lost” or gave me a delicious “you look amazing” (hey! comments like that are better than pizza!!!) … Today I stepped on the scale and I got a 172.6 … a new low! and I am getting closer to leaving the 170s behind!!!ย  I know I wouldn’t be looking at that number if I had gone crazy last night and I had eaten! I am happy with my reward! Oh! And I now have officially lost 50 pounds! woohoo!!!! Discipline definitely pays off!

You can still do something…

Hello everybody, here I am, “interrupting” my vacation just to report how things are going

We are having a grand time! Enjoying visiting with family, friends and just loving the cooler weather in Wisconsin! tomorrow we will go apple picking, so I am excited! I love doing that! And hubby is planning on taking me to dinner on Thursday, just the two of us while the girls stay with their grandparents… we’ll go to a nice place where he took me on my first trip up to Wisconsin… “Beans&Barley”, it’s a “Deli, Market, Cafe” kind of place, very trendy, healthy and just … for me… well… romantic… because again, that was the first place where we went out on a date when I first visited from Mexico… so it will be a nice trip down memory road! right? ๐Ÿ™‚ As you might now… our dates were always “e-mails and phone calls” because of the distance, and meeting in e-harmony… so… we DO REMEMBER and treasure each date we had in person back then! ๐Ÿ™‚

So… I’ve been doing good with the eating… yesterday not so much… but I still didn’t go overboard… my worst sin was a sausage/cream cheese dip with tostitos! It was sooo good! but considering we are on vacation and we’ve been having family get togethers with all kinds of food I’ve been doing great, Saturday I ate 1350 calories, regardless of the party, regardless of the snacking, I filled myself with lots of water and veggies… I also went for a run around the area… it was such a gorgeous day and I burned plenty of calories! Yesterday was the hard one, as I said, but I still didn’t pass the 2000 calories (although, almost did!) and didn’t exercise! It was just busy from morning to night just eating and visiting with people … today I went for a walk with one of hubby’s aunts and his father’s wife… walked for an hour and burned a little over 400 calories with it! Ate about 1500 calories total!

So… I am definitely proving to myself you can still DO SOMETHING during vacation! I am very proud of myself because even during our road trip I did awesome… only drinking water and eating only what I needed, not what I wanted! Oh my goodness! That proved to be a big test and I am happy I passed it with an A+ ! Even hubby was shocked! we drove 24 “almost straight” hours (with stops just to eat and go to the bathroom and only once to sleep for an hour) and still… I stayed strong! Hubby kept stopping to buy candy bars, cheesy popcorn, snacks, soda, coffee, etc… and I still remained strong! Trust me… it wasn’t easy! I had doughnuts, cheetos and chocolate covered raisins in my mind! But only when we had to stop for a main meal I would eat… we had breakfast at Dennys and I only ate 2 pancakes without butter and just 1 tbsp. of maple syrup (less than 400 calories) and for lunch we had Subway… (light Ranch Dressing in a 6″ sub) … so… I am happy regardless of yesterday’s indulging!

Have to go now… my girls are giggling in the other room when they should be sleeping… it will be a busy day tomorrow!

Could’ve been better, could’ve been worse…

Hello everybody! I feel like I was car sliding at full speed inย  a slippery road and I am finally gaining some control and slowing down… Yesterday the day started with lots of struggles but I did defeat them all, then I exercised here at home (not as intense as when I go running out) but at least I stayed active and that helped things but at night I was just super hungry! It’s amazing how quick it is for your body to get used to “eating more” and any feel of “deprivation” makes you want food that much more! So I ate pasta (which I hadn’t planned on doing) and even when nothing was horrible it was more than what I had already planned for the day… The bright side of it all is that I stayed much more controlled than I I had been the previous few days… and my day ended with a calorie intake of 1800… Not horrible… not perfect … but better!

So I am encouraged and looking for my days to continue to improve and the feelings of anxiety to continue to decrease! Today I went to take care of the dogs at my friend’s house for the last time… Hubby will be going tonight and tomorrow morning, thankfully he will not work tomorrow so I will have all the time in the world to go for a good run!

That’s it for now, Good Friday everyone!

The Thin Lady Inside

Going to McDonald’s!

So… yesterday we went to church and I must admit I kept thinking about food! LOL! I was happy I already had everything ready for lunch … there would be chicken, salad and some rice (no rice for me because it’s hard to stop when I eat rice!) but then after church, some friends said their daughter wanted to go to McDonald’s and they were wondering if we wanted to go with them… of course my 4 yr. old got super excited when she heard McDonald’s so hubby asked me if it was ok and I said “yeah, it’s fine” (-big sigh-) so we went and I saw they had a chicken snack wrap or something like that for 250, I ordered that and let me tell you I had a very different image in my mind, I thought I would get a wrap heavy loaded with veggies and some chicken but there was barely anything inside of it… a very small flour tortilla, also folded in the ends, so you pretty much are eating tortilla with dressing (I asked for honey mustard) … I was sooo hungry! I ate 2 of the chicken nuggets my 2 yr. old didn’t eat and stole 4 fries from hubby’s …. when I came home I got my chicken out and ate some of it… I was still very hungry… but I think I “did great” for “McDonald’s” … hubby and I agreed we’re not going there anymore! LOL! If chick-fil-a was open on Sunday that would be our choice for sure! I can order a big and delicious char grilled sandwich and still do great with my calorie count! In the afternoon we had a meeting at church, there was a full table with finger foods and delicious desserts… I just had some coffee… thank you! totally stayed away from the “food table”

I did great with my calories for the day though, 1300 total calorie count for the day!

Sunday is “my day off” from exercise… (I guess, I’ll take a break every Sunday) and today hubby’s here so I am enjoying some great family time … I have to go now… but I’ll be writing tomorrow! Tomorrow is “weigh-in day” so …. I am hoping the scale will reflect the hard work and self control I’ve been practicing during the week…ย  ๐Ÿ˜€

The Thin Lady Inside

Sipping Coffee and Re-applying it all!

Well, the weight loss journey sure isn’t an easy one… not for me anyway… and when I feel *I got it* I get too confident and it’s like I lose my grasp on it and have to “start again” … right now… I am re-learning to say “no” all over again… I guess I got too “lose” with my “yes” and allowing myself to have treats here and there with the excuse firm belief I would “catch up” later and it just wasn’t happening, it’s been just a bunch of “re-starting” and even when I am proud to have lost half the amount of weight excess on me… I still have a long way to go and I can’t just “stay there” and continue to celebrate a past triumph while I still have a to keep going to achieve real victory. If anything I can just “use my past” to remember “I can do this” instead of using it as a “I’ve done pretty good, do I really need to keep working that hard?” thought!

So… In the things I am re-applying is the saying “No” to myself… I’ve found that if I really want to eat something I’ve just been saying “it’s ok” and eat it… and not just a little bit of it… well… it’s time to exercise some will power and say “not even a little bit! Not for now!” and that’s exactly what I am doing… As I type this post I just ran away from the kitchen where I was already looking in the fridge to see what I could eat (hey! I still have some calories leftover for the day) but … I am choosing wisely and I know those calories will be needed later, when it’s actually time for dinner! so… instead, I made myself a cup of coffee (with sugar-free creamer) and I am proud of my choice…

Saying “NO” felt good… actually better than saying “YES”

The Thin Lady Inside