Back from Mexico…

Hello everybody… so… I did have to end up going to Mexico… My dad’s condition was way worse than we originally thought… he actually had a massive heart attack. The doctors can’t explain yet how he made it for 2 days without medical attention, when he got to the hospital he had over 3000 units of some enzymes produced by the body when the heart fails… I am sorry if I can’t explain things right… it’s all a blur… but the doctors said something like: “when a person has over 300-400 units it is considered a heart attack, your dad has over 3000 units”… so we rushed to Mexico but I wasn’t allowed to see him… he couldn’t have any emotions… nor good or bad. At least I was a support for my mom and siblings in the scariest hours.. the first 72 hours were crucial, he was in the ICU and he made it… the doctor says he is still not out of danger and they continue to administer medication to keep him from having a thrombosis, he is now in a normal room and he started asking last night about me and if I could go see him… he doesn’t have any clue I just returned last night from being just a few steps away from him all weekend. Now my mom is afraid to tell him I was there and wasn’t allowed to see him… so he won’t know… it makes me sad he probably wonders why I am not there!?

Anyway… I just hope his recovery is complete…. and I obviously didn’t have much opportunity to count calories while there… but did have the opportunity to eat things that I love and I hadn’t eaten for 7 years! Things right there in my country… that can’t be fully replicated in the USA…

"Pollo Feliz"

“Pollo Feliz”

My favorite Grilled chicken "Pollo Feliz" with tortillas, guacamole and blanched/seasoned red onions.

My favorite Grilled chicken “Pollo Feliz” with tortillas, guacamole and blanched/seasoned red onions.

"Tamal Sinaloense"

“Tamal Sinaloense”

Regardless of my not counting calories and letting myself enjoy some Mexican food I must say I still stayed away from my very favorite street tacos and soda… and from many other succulent dishes… I must say I am happy I am not there anymore because it would be near to impossible to lose weight with all those options… Ah! Can’t resist Mexican dishes!!! and my favorite ones are not that healthy! Although I know I still lost weight when I used to live there… you can always adapt every dish to make it a healthier/lighter version… (it still isn’t the same though!)

So… thankfully my dad is getting better and thankfully I am now away from all that food… or it would be likely I’d end up in a hospital just like him.

The Thin and very Mexican Lady Inside

 

Advertisements

Discipline and Reward!

Hello everybody… yes… another post… how cool! I might get “in the zone” again! So… last night we had our “LifeGroup Social” from church… as I mentioned in my previous post it was at a gym… all of the guys played volleyball… and about 3 gals joined them… the rest of us ladies stayed on the side… just looking at them play and talking about .. ehem… well.. vaginas… why do we always have to go there??? Honestly! Am I in THAT age where all the conversations end there? I mean… and it wasn’t anything dirty of course… after all our conversations are pretty edifying and clean… but… then… the gynecological conversations begin when one mentions a “weird pain” and another mentions a “necessary exam or surgery” or the discomforts of it… the fears of cancer … the lumps… etc… it all makes me shiver! I tried to stay focus on the game … that conversation could’ve made me either eat more to find some kind of “safe place” in my mind… but I tried to use it towards NOT EATING AT ALL… and that’s what I did… I didn’t touch the pizza and all the amazing desserts that people brought… you should’ve seen it! There’s a place called “Nothing Bundt Cake” and they sell super cute and tiny bundt cakes in very cute wrappers like cupcakes all with frosting in a super cute swirl for each individual cake… and still… I didn’t touch anything! I tried to stay busy hoping to get good “shots” of the players!

IMG_8514[1]

The game was actually way more relaxed than I thought! I could’ve actually played! Nobody was really getting too competitive!) There were people even kicking the ball! LOL! It was all fun! I still am afraid of ridicule and didn’t even try to play!

So… I was a little moody and frustrated to begin with … not my best attitude at all.. but being in  a place where I wouldn’t be able to do the only things that were done… eat/exercise (or then find out that I wouldn’t really want to jump into that conversation) made me feel a bit snappy! At least we left the place pretty early (9 p.m.) to go get our little ones in bed (who were in childcare at church, for free!) and I did as I had planned! I got home and I enjoyed a cup of coffee with sugar free pumpkin spice creamer. Ah! I felt proud of myself! It did help me to stay motivated the fact that some people asked me “how much more I’ve lost” or gave me a delicious “you look amazing” (hey! comments like that are better than pizza!!!) … Today I stepped on the scale and I got a 172.6 … a new low! and I am getting closer to leaving the 170s behind!!!  I know I wouldn’t be looking at that number if I had gone crazy last night and I had eaten! I am happy with my reward! Oh! And I now have officially lost 50 pounds! woohoo!!!! Discipline definitely pays off!

What’s going on…

Hello peeps! We had a WONDERFUL, just wonderful time in Wisconsin… and I did pretty good with my eating and staying active… BUT… BUT…. yes… there’s a BUT… the return wasn’t that smooth… well… first of all… I got sick right the day before we started our trip back home… I completely lost my voice! That was the day I was going to have my “date” with hubby at the same restaurant when we first went on a date there… and… well… I couldn’t speak! I still didn’t want to let that ruin my time so I guess I was a “very good listener” LOL! although my throat was killing me!

I am so happy our first date was at a “Health Food place” because it’s easy to go there again and order good stuff… Here’s what I ate:

Tuna Melt with Alfalfa Sprouts and Indian Rice

Tuna Melt with Alfalfa Sprouts and Indian Rice

Then we went to our favorite coffee shop, the name of that place used to be “Alterra” but they sold the name to Mars Inc. so it’s now “Colectivo”. I still love the place!

IMG_8038

I had a “cortado” 1/2 espresso 1/2 milk foam and he had his usual strong black coffee

IMG_8039

“Alterra” (or Colectivo now) uses old historical buildings for their shops, this is in the old water pump building that used to supply water from Lake Michigan to the city of Milwaukee

So, date was “fine” and pretty silent… but it was nice to go to those places. Then, Friday we began our journey back home and for some reason… I just ate! It’s like I almost “ruined” the entire time of vacation that I did good… -sigh- back home I checked my weight and I gained 3 pounds (in those 2 days of traveling back) – I am going to blame it on the fact that it was too hard being silent… so… how else could I use my time on a road trip? well… I ate! Back home I have struggled to get back in line but I already lost some of the weight I gained… I am positive and setting new goals for myself… I am right now 176 pounds and I want to be in the 160’s by the end of the year (even if it’s 169.9 LOL!). It is also nice to get back into my routine of my morning walks as well!

My voice… well… it’s coming back (although still pretty raspy) but at least I feel much better.

That’s it for  now…

Thanks for being patient with me.

The Thin Lady Inside

You can still do something…

Hello everybody, here I am, “interrupting” my vacation just to report how things are going

We are having a grand time! Enjoying visiting with family, friends and just loving the cooler weather in Wisconsin! tomorrow we will go apple picking, so I am excited! I love doing that! And hubby is planning on taking me to dinner on Thursday, just the two of us while the girls stay with their grandparents… we’ll go to a nice place where he took me on my first trip up to Wisconsin… “Beans&Barley”, it’s a “Deli, Market, Cafe” kind of place, very trendy, healthy and just … for me… well… romantic… because again, that was the first place where we went out on a date when I first visited from Mexico… so it will be a nice trip down memory road! right? 🙂 As you might now… our dates were always “e-mails and phone calls” because of the distance, and meeting in e-harmony… so… we DO REMEMBER and treasure each date we had in person back then! 🙂

So… I’ve been doing good with the eating… yesterday not so much… but I still didn’t go overboard… my worst sin was a sausage/cream cheese dip with tostitos! It was sooo good! but considering we are on vacation and we’ve been having family get togethers with all kinds of food I’ve been doing great, Saturday I ate 1350 calories, regardless of the party, regardless of the snacking, I filled myself with lots of water and veggies… I also went for a run around the area… it was such a gorgeous day and I burned plenty of calories! Yesterday was the hard one, as I said, but I still didn’t pass the 2000 calories (although, almost did!) and didn’t exercise! It was just busy from morning to night just eating and visiting with people … today I went for a walk with one of hubby’s aunts and his father’s wife… walked for an hour and burned a little over 400 calories with it! Ate about 1500 calories total!

So… I am definitely proving to myself you can still DO SOMETHING during vacation! I am very proud of myself because even during our road trip I did awesome… only drinking water and eating only what I needed, not what I wanted! Oh my goodness! That proved to be a big test and I am happy I passed it with an A+ ! Even hubby was shocked! we drove 24 “almost straight” hours (with stops just to eat and go to the bathroom and only once to sleep for an hour) and still… I stayed strong! Hubby kept stopping to buy candy bars, cheesy popcorn, snacks, soda, coffee, etc… and I still remained strong! Trust me… it wasn’t easy! I had doughnuts, cheetos and chocolate covered raisins in my mind! But only when we had to stop for a main meal I would eat… we had breakfast at Dennys and I only ate 2 pancakes without butter and just 1 tbsp. of maple syrup (less than 400 calories) and for lunch we had Subway… (light Ranch Dressing in a 6″ sub) … so… I am happy regardless of yesterday’s indulging!

Have to go now… my girls are giggling in the other room when they should be sleeping… it will be a busy day tomorrow!

Ok I did it…

Hello everyone… So… in my previous post I shared about how I started to see the numbers go up on the scale again little by little, first +0.4 then +0.7 and I began to think about the reasons why this could be when everything seemed to be going “so good” … I thought maybe I needed to have one of those days where I eat more to kind of get my body going again but I was doubtful, hesitant and scared about doing that… what if I just gained more weight without any results? But still did it… I ate good for the whole day and then at night I ate more than I usually do, not junk food, just more and more of a “regular meal” without worrying about my usual calorie counting … I had meatloaf (still lean beef and my “healthier meatloaf” recipe with pace salsa in it and no bacon and without a ketchup/mustard/brown sugar glaze on top, I also had a baked red potato with butter) and 1 homemade oatmeal/chocolate chip cookie. It felt good to just “eat” I didn’t weigh-in the next day (yesterday) I didn’t want to freak out from seeing the numbers possibly go higher in the morning from the bigger dinner the night before but what I did instead was “RUN again” … As you know my running pal doesn’t want to run anymore… she just wants to walk… and I understand it… she doesn’t enjoy running very much and also there’s no much motivation in it for her because she doesn’t burn that much more calories running vs walking (Weird) … she burns WAY more calories than I do walking but then I kill it running… so we walk… we just walk… and talk… and it’s very enjoyable but I do need to do something else to get my heart rate going… So now that her kids are back in school we’ve been going earlier for our walks and that means I get at least 15 more minutes before hubby has to go to work… So.. when we’re done with our walk and I head home I go to the gym in the apartments instead and hop on the treadmill and run for those 15 minutes … It’s amazing! I only get to run about 1.5 miles but it’s better than nothing and I do get my heart rate going faster and burn way more calories… just this morning I had only burned 290 calories in 1 hour of brisk walking and then burned an additional 350 calories in 20 minutes (15 mins. of running and 5 minutes of walking around the apartment complex) … incredible!  I am also slowly starting to incorporate strength training (planks/push-ups/abs) and hopefully that will make a difference as well.

So… I had already reached 174.1 then gained those +0.4 and +0.7 which took me to 175.2 today I am 174.5 so hopefully whatever I am doing (including the “indulging” with a purpose and controlled and scheduled) works and keeps my body guessing enough to make it lose more!

I feel encouraged and motivated on that area… Although I am a little worried because I know that the emotional stuff plays a big role in the weight loss area and right now my heart is heavy and a little anxious about several things, a friend is pregnant in very “special” circumstances and doctors don’t give much hopes for either her or her babies (yes, more than 1) and a team from our church just came back from another of their many Mission Trips to Peru… and the things I heard about the conditions many live there… were just heartbreaking and so many details that I didn’t need to know… I am angry and sad… and … well… I hope I can move on because it’s not like I am making a difference by “getting angry” … right? -sigh-

Anyway… That’s it for now… Today I already did my walking and my running …

The Thin Lady Inside

An unexpected reminder and push!

Hello everybody! Yesterday was a so so day… I fought all day long against temptation but when you are getting out of a deep hole is kind of hard to not slide back here and there… that’s the main problem when you allow yourself to have “bad days” … it turns out that it’s harder to go back to your healthy habits… hard but not impossible… anyway… in the evening we had the Choir Kick-Off at church (Choir was off for a month this summer, just to “rest”) and yesterday was our “kick-off party” this is the time when we receive new people into the choir and of course it’s a great opportunity to celebrate… and it seems we can’t celebrate anything without eating… the theme of the party was “Duck Dynasty” … I know, weird! It’s a church… I truly felt like we are in the “End of times” to be celebrating IN a church “Duck Dynasty Style” but… it was better than I thought… I have never liked that show but it seems that here in the South is particularly popular, a friend of mine told me that for many people here is almost like a Family Reunion… lol! I guess that’s why I can’t relate… I know nothing (or want to know) about hunting, etc (but our Worship Pastor knows about that and he came totally in style, Duck Dynasty Style with a whole mop as a beard!!!) …  as I was looking online about the characters they are surprisingly pleasant (not so much in the show but in interviews) … Anyway… so there was a lot of food… bbq’d chicken, meatballs, chips, dips, lots of melted cheese and … camo cupcakes with neon orange frosting… yes… I made those! Let me show you:

IMG_7243 IMG_7245 IMG_7295

Well, you get the idea, lots of food! And I was doing “ok” but ended up not being so ok… I started eating the “simmered frog legs” (they had those name tags by the food, of course it was chicken LOL) and all the chips and stuff… When all of a sudden… the worship ministry assistant came by me and put in my hands something… something I had ordered a while ago and didn’t remember about it… a “Choir Polo Shirt” … size… Medium! I am large and sometimes extra large when it comes to shirts! and the food just got stuck in my throat when I saw it! I remember when I ordered it I thought I’d be “at least” medium by now… but that’s not the case… and that’s never going to be the case if I keep having “bad days” and “slide backs” I just gave her a half smile while wiping the barbeque sauce from my mouth with a napkin …

Now… that was a great reminder… and a great motivation as well… It felt like a bucket of icy water that was thrown at me without me expecting it but I think it was the extra push I was needing… Today I got on the scale just to see where I am at and move on (I had to do this because sometimes in my head I am back at 222.8 and even more when I feel guilty for overeating) so I had to “see the truth” (182.0),  realize it’s not impossible (it never is… no matter what the number is) and keep on going… I feel extra determined today… It will have to be a good day!

By the way… just a quick update on my sister… she is doing great… it’s been exactly two weeks since she started… today she had her weigh in and she lost 2.6 pounds. I am very proud of her.

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 11 – 79 to Go: Barely made it!

Hello everybody! Yesterday (Friday) was overall ok… My littlest one was still sick, nothing major she just has a cold and seems very clingy, whenever my kids get sick,even if just a little bit, I get very stressed out… stress… not a good thing for someone who is trying to keep food addiction controlled! I managed to do ok still during the day, watching what I ate, etc… then my friend (running pal) she finally returned from camp, I was very excited, making plans in my mind of my week ahead and things looked like this in my head: “walking everyday in the morning with her, running at night! Great!!” BUT, she told me she is leaving again for vacation, she is leaving today to a beach in Florida and will be gone all week with her family, so she needs someone to go take care of her dogs, twice a day, morning and evening, for the week… I am of course thrilled to help! She is my friend, she’s there for me all the time, it’s the least I can do for her… But… again… changing plans in my head isn’t a good thing either… Now… I am not looking forward to this week at all! It means in the morning I’ll have to go to her house to take care of her dogs, feed them, get them in the yard, make sure they have water and feed the fish, I am thinking I will have to do that before hubby goes to work that way I don’t have to get the girls out later (my friend left her daughter’s car with me because I don’t have one now). So, no going to the gym in the morning because I’ll use that time for the dogs…. I don’t want to take the girls with me later because (sorry if I sound crazy paranoid) but because they have a very nice house (my friends) and I am afraid someone could break in in the night and what if someone is there! I don’t know… the house is so big I get afraid of those things… I’ve heard there have been break-ins in that area lately… and I don’t want to go by myself with my little ones and expose us all to anything… PLUS, my girls are terrified of the dogs and being on my own with the girls hugging my legs screaming while I try to feed and give water to the dogs is honestly an almost impossible task! Last time the younger dog ran away from me and got out of the fence and also tangled the leash around my ankles because she’s full of energy and gets too excited to get out so… it’s a bunch of things that make it hard for me to think about taking the girls… anyway… then at night, I think hubby will have to be the one going to visit those dogs which means the time I use to exercise while he plays with the girls “is gone” for the week… I know it’s probably way worse in my mind than it actually will be in real life… I guess the worst thing is just the fact that I had already “planned out my week” *so perfect* and then everything changed… I know I will have to make it work and I will be fine… I guess it just wasn’t a good day to receive “the news” for me already… So… I was feeling anxious and feeling like eating! Then hubby came back with still plenty potato salad that I sent with him for the potluck… I love that stupid potato salad (LOL) so I just opened the bowl and started eating… I am so happy I stopped myself “on time” before ruining my whole day! I just put it away and in the fridge… I kept trying to open the fridge and then would just stop myself SEEING what I was doing!!! It was a struggle but I think I managed to get out of it! Unfortunately that potato salad has lots of potatoes (obviously), eggs, bacon and mayo (besides celery, parsley, red onions, apple cider vinegar and mustard), so 1 cup of that salad is plenty of calories!

Here’s how my day ended though:

Calories burned: 2157 (this has been my lowest since I started my 90 days)

Calorie intake: 1554 (this has been my highest since I started as well)

Calorie deficit: 603 -whew-

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… and I am struggling… I’ve been sober for 11 days (although I almost didn’t make it yesterday)… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside