I never give up…

Hello peeps, if there’s anybody still around… or if anybody stops by and realizes that there was a long, long time since I last posted and that my last few posts were all about my struggle to find out the reasons why I didn’t seem to be able to lose weight… Just in case anybody wondered what happened to the lady who was looking for the thin-lady-inside of her… I am still here… I just want you to know that no matter what… no matter the struggles… I just DON’T GIVE UP! That’s right! … And while my weight kept slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) but surely creeping up… I never quit my battle against obesity… and while I did reach the 200’s again I didn’t gain all my weight back….

My last resort has been to invest in an expensive gym membership (which included 5 sessions with a fitness trainer and some blood work)

The blood work said what I already knew… Everything looks amazing in paper! They can tell I eat healthy and I exercise because the glucose is spot on, ideal numbers for triglycerides, HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, blood pressure EVERYTHING! … They did a cardio test and they also were able to prove that I wasn’t lying when I said I exercise every day! They got me on the elliptical and it did nothing! High resistance and incline and I was feeling like I was sitting on a couch! My hear rate was so stable and not spiking… I could talk through the whole test… it was… GREAT! The trainer said: Wow, you really are strong… and I even told him when everything was done: “Sorry, I just have to ask… am I the healthiest fat person you’ve ever helped?” I could tell he was afraid to answer … Poor guy! but he finally said: “I am going to have to say yes to that!” LOL… So he started explaining to me that my body had just simply adapted to EVERYTHING I DO… Yes… everything! Including the 10 mile walks, the eating healthy, everything! And when the discouragement came and I did eat out of my normal, healthy stuff… of course I saw even an increase… and that was doing it! So what am I doing now?

  1. Weight Lifting… I had never tried that and the trainer highly recommended it (plus I’ve always had the goal of looking somewhat like a bodybuilder… I know… it might seem crazy… but I really reach for that!)
  2. Switching things around more both with the food and the exercise… in regards to food I am sticking to strictly healthy stuff, avoiding grains but not excluding them, continuing to live a “sugar free lifestyle”, and sticking to what I already used to do of no artificial junk and stuff like that… BUT now I am just making sure that I am not always “eating the same” everyday… adding more fish to my diet and like my trainer said: “When things stop working, change things up a bit”
  3. I am not focusing on the scale…. After 2 weeks of all the training and sticking to my healthy food… I felt stronger yet the scale said I had lost only 2 pounds (what!? I am still walking 10 miles, plus 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of weights! How can that be?) well… looking deeper into it… and with the right equipment… ALL THE OTHER NUMBERS told a more encouraging story… I had lost 7.5 pounds of fat during those 2 weeks… yet gained 4.5 pounds of lean mass… AMAZING! Had I not known those details I know I would’ve let the 2 pounds be very discouraging! All that work for NOTHING??? BUT …. Now I know I have to REALLY trust other things more than the number on the scale… How do I feel? Am I getting stronger? How do the clothes feel? Etc… and I can’t let the scale ruin all those other tangible victories!
  4. Resting… With this I am still struggling… I have to trust what the trainer said about letting my body rest… I get this weird anxiety if I relax… I feel like I can’t sit or not train for a day because I will get huge… like… on that day! and this takes me to the next point…
  5. Training my mind as well… I am learning a lot about neuroplasticity… which is basically how our thinking affects our brains and our bodies… it might sound like it’s not something serious but being healthy involves our minds too… I have to change the way I think about myself… and even quit the negative thoughts that tell me “I’ll never get to accomplish something” and learn to relax, enjoy and not obsess.

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So … there you see me in the blurry picture above… I have those bands in my legs, I walk sideways with those and it is a great strength exercise for my legs (hips and thighs I think) … I am having a lot of fun and loving seeing results in my body… Hopefully my experience encourages you! I never quit… I just don’t… Find what works for you! I hope I can give you a great update soon!

The Thin Lady Inside

Because she believes me!

Hello everybody, here I am … today is day 9 of the Fast Metabolism Diet 28 day plan! This plan is supposed to heal your metabolism in about 28 days, some people have a slower metabolism than others, some have more or less weight to lose than others… so if by day 28 you’re “not done” you just start all over again… People have asked me “what made me try the Fast Metabolism Diet” and I always say “she believes me” … Allow me to explain: when I heard about this plan I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it because NO DAIRY is allowed… at all… no yogurt, butter, milk (except for rice/almond/coconut milks), kefir, sour cream, cheese, nothing! and I thought I for sure would never even try something that would separate me and dairy! Nothing could ever come between us! NOTHING! but… as I continued to read the book I found something that Haily Pomroy (author of the FMD) said that touched the very depths of my soul … she said: “I believe you!” … She says in her book that some of her customers come to her tired of dieting, skeptic to try something “new” or “opposing what they’ve learned in other diets” etc… and they tell her in frustration how they have REALLY ADHERED to other strict eating plans without any good results… and she says that she believes them … and then she talked to me, the reader, and said: “I believe you! I believe that you have done it, I believe that you have counted calories, I believe that you have only eaten protein or carbs, or whatever the diets required of you” (paraphrasing) I BELIEVE YOU! And it’s been so long since I last felt someone “believed me” … even when trying THM (Trim Healthy Mama, which I love) when I would come up to the wonderful groups where everyone is really, sincerely supportive and nice… I found that people would say “well, maybe you’re not doing this or that, well, maybe you are doing something wrong, maybe you’re eating too much of something, etc” … when I would go to doctors when I was eating low calories and exercising a lot they looked at me and smiled in disbelief and said “well eat less and exercise more!” … and for the first time… I found someone who said… “I believe you!” … Haylie doesn’t know me… personally (obviously) … but she knows I (and many others like me) exist! and she knows I (we) have really tried! she believes it… but there’s something else why diets don’t work even when test results come back from the doctor’s office saying that everything is “apparently normal” … So… because she believed me… I believe her! And I will do this as well… with everything I have! Sometimes I have doubts while doing this program… but I mostly doubt myself… Am I eating too much? And I go back to my meal maps that she put together… and I trust it and “Let it go” …. I weighed myself yesterday and I lost 2 pounds on my first week.. it’s not a lot but I am not stressing out… I am truly letting go and doing this thing! Hopefully my metabolism will get it!

The Thin (and hopeful) Lady Inside

It’s Pizza Time!

Hello everybody! I’ve been hanging in there… some days are better than others, some days are easier than others… but it’s mostly my attitude that makes it harder… It is just hard to have gained back so much that I had already lost … But crying about it will do nothing for me… I still cry though… LOL!

Anyway… Saturday night hubby decided to buy pizza… now… pizza is not on plan… and it’s not the cheese and toppings that THM (Trim Healthy Mama) worry about… it’s the bread… and it’s not that we can’t eat bread… but the whole thing about this plan is to try to keep your glycemic index at healthy levels… and pizza crust is just “too much bread” and not necessarily “the good kind” … and then… mixing all those carbs with the amount of fat from the cheese/meats is just too much!

So… instead of “giving in” I decided to invest some time and make my own “plan approved” pizza… “Fooled ya’ Pizza”… This pizza is made with a cauliflower based crust and I found it to be absolutely delicious… Now… the crust won’t really fool ANYBODY! It is NOT BREAD! or bread like! Don’t expect bread flavor or texture to magically come from cauliflower but it is SOOO YUMMY! And if you get your favorite toppings on top… you CAN fool yourself and your cravings and have that “satisfying feel” that pizza can give… but without the guilt!

So… it was my first try to attempt and it was easier than I thought… Hubby loved it too (even when he had already had his own pizza) – I think this recipe would also be “Paleo Diet approved”

I am sharing the recipe from the book because it’s already been shared in multiple blogs, forums and groups.

Here it is: (Disclaimer… if you’re a calorie counter THIS IS NOT a low-calorie dish)

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Here’s the whole pizza with toppings right before putting it in the oven for the toppings to bake.

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This is just the pizza crust once it’s been flipped and baked on both sides.

Fooled ya’ Pizza – Trim Healthy Mama

1. Lightly steam 1 (16oz) bag of frozen cauliflower. (I only had a head of fresh cauliflower and used that.)

2. Put lightly steamed cauliflower in colander and press out as much water as possible. (I used a big spoon to press it with.) The less water the crispier it will be. (Trust me… get ALL THE WATER out of that cauliflower… I can say this enough! Use paper towel if necessary)

3. Transfer cauliflower to a food processor and pulse a few times, NOT to much. You want rice-size pieces.

4. Add 3/4cup egg whites and pulse again a few times. (You can also just use 3 eggs. That’s what I did.)

5. Add 2 cups grated part skim mozzarella cheese, pinch of sea salt, dash or two of Italian seasoning, and a little onion or garlic powder to taste.

6. Mix ingredients together well with a spatula inside the food processor.

7. Line a large cookie sheet with parchment paper and grease parchment well (this is important or the crust will stick.).

8. Plop entire mixture onto the middle of the tray and start spreading it outwards with a spatula or with your hands until it covers most of the sheet. Try not to have a thicker middle than sides. (If you have a perfectionist husband like mine, you wont have to worry about that! He spent quite a bit of time fixing my spreading job. *smile*). Keep pressing until mixture almost touches the edges of the sheet. This crust is better thin, but don’t let the edges become wispy thin or they will get too dark when they cook (it puffs up a bit after cooking).

9. Bake at 450 for 20 minutes. (turn it over after 15 minutes to crisp the bottom. Flip it including the parchment paper, then remove the parchment paper).

10. Cool crust for several minutes before topping.  (Do not skip this step)

Once crust has cooled you can top it with pizza sauce, a little *Very little* more cheese (you don’t need much, since the crust already has it). Add any toppings you want and broil it in the oven until toppings are done.

You need to cut this pizza into smaller, rather than larger pieces. This makes it easier to hold them in your hand. Very large pieces are slightly droopy. Also if you don’t have a food processor you chop it to the “rice-size pieces” – I actually just mashed it with a potato masher while getting all the liquid out and it worked too!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 10 -80 to go – Steps and Fries!

Hello! Good day everyone! Here I am to continue to write about my journey that started in January 2012, in the beginning my focus was only on losing weight… And I did… I lost 45 pounds but then got stuck… now that my body has refused to lose weight for over a year I have learned lots of things… and even when it would be nice to reach my “weight loss goals” and I still have hopes to do so… my focus is now on being healthy! I’m learning the importance of why I need to do this… I am not saying I “got it” … every day there’s a struggle… some days are harder than others… but I have come a long way… I couldn’t have gotten here without my husband who is so sweet and loves me no matter what… my girls who are a motivation just by “existing” … Just looking at their faces makes me want to do this even more, in the hopes of being healthy for many years and enjoy these years with them in an active way not passive! And my friends… both IRL and online! I am so blessed! My friends IRL don’t even know of this blog… but they do support me and encourage me… and online… well.. you are so special! You know who YOU are (Tiff, Shadow, Jackie,  Dave and THL – I miss ya – ) Thank you!

So… I hadn’t planned to start thanking but I guess I should always start that way! Because I know it would be WAY harder to finish every good day without you!

Yesterday was a good day…  It could’ve definitely been better but I think I did what I could with what I had… Hubby had a day off so we didn’t set any alarm for the morning, we never have that “luxury” since even on Sunday we are on the run with church… once we woke up the day was just really busy! Since the morning, going to the car dealership (I don’t have a car AGAIN!!! but that’s a very long story that includes not covered warranties and lots of bureaucracy, hopefully it will all be solved soon) so, car dealership (and you know that takes hours!!!) then did some grocery shopping at Sam’s… then unload everything in the house, we can’t take any time doing anything else with the groceries in the car with this heat… the heat index was 107 F!!! then it was past time for lunch (after 2 p.m.) so we headed to Chick-Fil-A, thank God for “good options” at restaurants! I had their Market Salad with Grilled Chicken for only 180 calories! But beware! This salad can be dangerous if you add all the “toppings” that they give you to add to it! I always check what’s there! Almonds and Walnuts, Granola and Dressing can take this salad to 460 calories in a second… which still isn’t a bad number at all for “eating out” but I just had to make sure I stayed away from those because I couldn’t afford all those calories, I only used 1/2 of the Fat Free Honey Mustard Dressing Packet they give you to add only 50 calories to the salad.

Then we headed to another grocery store to continue our shopping, and the girls took turns to go to the restroom so I had to go across the store at least 3 times (once for myself, once for the oldest, once for the littlest one!) when it was all done at about 5 p.m. I checked my fitbit and I was a bit disappointed I had only walked about 6000 steps for the whole day!

I still had to put some groceries away, feed hungry mouths, make a potluck dish for hubby (he specifically requested my potato salad which involves a lot of chopping) and make a test for some camo-cupcakes that someone ordered from me for next week… I had to do the test yesterday to make sure I had time to “make mistakes” since I’ve never made these before… that way I still have some days left to keep experimenting and/or buying any ingredient I don’t have… you should’ve seen me… running to put the girls in bed, putting groceries away, chopping stuff and whisking almost all at once! Even when I was whisking I was running in place trying to get more activity in!

When I finished with all that I was at almost 8000 steps but exhausted! I think I was exhausted mainly from the heat outside! It was brutal! Even the A/C in the car can’t keep up with it! It starts getting cool in the car when we’re already in our destination! The heat and humidity can really drain you out… It was by then 9 in the evening and I don’t go running on my own at 9! Not even to the gym  of the apartments (being that I’ve already been scared there as well) so I had to walk fast in place in front of the TV for 20 minutes to finally just collapse on the couch after having just completed my 10,000 steps for the day! I was disappointed but the day still ended good… Just from the extra activities my day ended like this:

Calorie intake: 1206

Calories burned (total): 2,280

Calorie deficit: 1,074

Once the show we were watching was over, I took a shower and headed to bed hoping to have a good night of rest, but that’s when my littlest one woke up crying and with a slight fever… she couldn’t sleep well the whole night and I had to keep observing her, she stayed with me in bed, poor hubby had to sleep on the couch… but it was necessary, she kept “twitching” and waking up all night… I think the heat got to her! she is still very little! I kept making sure all day long they drank water and stayed as “cool” as possible, but the drastic changes of temperature (from an oven outside to a freezer inside every store/restaurant) and just the heat when we get in the car… must have done it! Today we are laying it low and I even cancelled a playdate we had planned for today… I just want to let her rest and recover from yesterday. In the end she probably walked over 20,000 steps with her 2 yr. old legs (she never wants to sit in the little seat from the shopping cart)

So… that’s it for today… I was going to tell you about some Sweet Potato Fries I made on Monday and I keep forgetting about it… right now… well… it’s obvious I remembered but now I wrote too much and my littlest one needs me… So I guess I will share about that tomorrow!

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 10 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Day 8 -82 to go: I just couldn’t!

Hello everybody! Here I am… to report, like everyday during these 90 day goal that I have set for myself, how I am doing… Yesterday (Tuesday) was supposed to be my “day of rest” just a day where I wouldn’t do my regular exercise because of something I read where you need to let you body rest for a day not only for the muscles to heal but also to keep the body from “adapting” it’s kind of a “reset button” thing… 🙂 … And I just couldn’t! I couldn’t not exercise! Without my morning walk I was all jittery all day long! It’s not like “I love exercising” … I feel like I haven’t gotten there yet… I always wonder if I ever will… So I was kind of looking forward to not doing a thing! LOL! But I couldn’t… You can still consider it my “day of rest” because I didn’t go to the gym and I didn’t run like I always do… But all day long I kept looking for ways to keep moving otherwise the energy was almost unbearable! LOL! So even while watching TV I would get my Wii Balance Board out and without even turning it on I used it as a “small step” and I did almost 13,000  steps during the day… I reached 6 miles… So… I feel like it was still good “rest” for my body from the High Impact exercises of the week but I didn’t just sit all day!

Then in the night I watched the “Extreme Weight Loss” show! WOW! That was amazing! The show was about this African American girl who talked about how in her culture it seems that in many families (not all)  “bigger is better” and “unhealthy is normal” … everybody in her family had weight issues and diabetes is seen as something you just “get” … they actually discouraged her to lose weight even when she was over 300 pounds…. but this girl was determined and she lost all the weight! Oh my goodness! Her personality was already like “the sun” but when she lost all the excess of weight … WOW! She gained extra confidence and showed the world who she truly is! I was telling my sister today (I already talked to her at 7:30 a.m.) that it’s almost like if they got psychological therapy! I mean the attitude and overall demeanor changes so much when the pounds are gone! But that’s what exercising and eating right does to you! Not only you lose weight! You prove yourself what you’re really made of and how strong you really are when you thought you weren’t! I love it! By the way… My sister (who I had already talked about before), she’s exercising everyday and eating right! I am so proud of her! I look forward to the day when she leaves me behind (being that I struggle so much being stuck in this weight) and that she loses even more weight than I have! She is proud of herself as well… and I can hear it in her voice… THIS IS IT! She is determined and tomorrow will be her first weigh-in (after 1 week) so I pray and hope the scale will be nice to her… still I hope she also remembers what I’ve failed to remember many times… the numbers on the scale don’t determine who I am or If I am being successful… Just the fact that we are doing THIS already makes us successful and says how strong we are! anyway… I am just happy… Well.. the thing is though… that I was going to go to the gym this morning but after my overly-energetic day yesterday I crashed! LOL! And I couldn’t even get up from bed at 6 but it will still be an active day and I hope I will be able to squeeze a run in my busy schedule ahead of me.

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 8 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 7 – 83 to go: No running pal!

Hello everybody… Here I am to report how yesterday went! It was the 7th day of this 90 day program that I’ve made for myself in hopes of “shocking my body” and hopefully seeing some difference… The “rules” for these 90 Days are:

1. No scale

2. Exercising consistently – no excuses – (I was already doing that, I am just trying to do it twice a day now instead of only once) – except for one day of rest in the week –

3. Staying at 1200-1400 calories (trying to hit the 1200 rather than the 1400)

If you’ve been following this blog you know I haven’t lost weight for a long year (a little more than that) regardless of the fact that I SHOULD be losing because I always have a calorie deficit… BUT after I found out that I have some issues (not major) with my thyroid, etc… I realized getting rid of the rest would be harder than I thought… And the problem I was running into was that I was eating more than 1200 calories every day… and then I would get discouraged because I wouldn’t see any change on the scale and I would just go into BINGING mode…  so I am sure that wasn’t helping my “weight loss efforts” particularly with the slower metabolism I have … I can’t afford those days of discouragement and excuses! So… I decided to do this for 90 days, as strictly as I can and without looking at the numbers on a scale! Those just bring me down! And hopefully, after these 90 days… I will see even if at least a little bit of change… or even if just more strength to keep going!

So… Yesterday was my 7th day… My running pal is on a summer camp right now (watching after middle schoolers) so I am on my own this week… Our morning walks are suspended for the week just because it’s too dark outside for me to go on my own (we have had several “scares” the two of us together so I can’t risk it on my own). I will be going to the gym in the mornings instead for my walk … yesterday, I just couldn’t get up to go to the gym in the morning though… I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and then my girl (4 yr. old) was coughing at night and ended up sleeping by me so in the morning I came back to consciousness at 8:30 a.m. when hubby had already left for work) But at night I went to the gym when he arrived and I ran for an hour on the treadmill… It felt intense but it was really good! I burned over 700 calories there. I had to make some adjustments with my eating and skim my nightly ice cream treat because I used all of my calories during the day… I was just hungry! And that’s what I’ve noticed about not exercising in the morning, it makes it harder for me to stay in control with the food during the day (weird!) So I ate 1400 calories and burned a total of 2500 calories, giving me a calorie deficit of 1100 for the day! Which is good (but I always want MORE!).

It was a good day overall… Let’s see how it goes today… Tuesdays are my day to rest and I won’t be running… I will have to keep my calories down today… I am looking forward to watching “Extreme Weight Loss” tonight! It’s always a great motivator!

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 7 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 4 – 86 Days to Go

Hello! Day 4 of my “90 days without a scale, eating healthy ALL THE TIME and exercising at least twice a day instead of once” went great…

I walked in the morning, 3.5 miles, then came back home and had a “Muller” for breakfast (and coffee)… have you tried that Greek Yoghurt by Quaker? Muller? it’s good! I love Greek Yoghurt and the fruit in this one is really good!  it’s almost as good as if you had bought fresh fruit and just pureed it yourself! I am lovin’ it!

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 I then took a nap (have I mentioned I am still very tired? We’ll see what the tests say about that) later the day went as usual, cleaning, feeding the girls, singing with them, homeschooling my 4 yr. old, etc… Normal stuff. Later I even did my rowing machine again (it’s been a while) and I was disappointed to see I could only do 10 mins. on it (man! THAT’s HARD!!) I can’t believe I was already doing 40 min. in a row! (no pun intended).

Later in the evening, as soon as hubby got home from work I walked out the door to go to the gym… I try not to stay around too long when he gets home because I enjoy being with him so much that I will not want to leave if we start talking! So, I had his dinner ready and I myself was with the keys in my hand ready to just “run away” from him and the temptation of just sitting on the couch to watch TV with him… “let’s get this over with” was my kind of attitude! … I went to the gym and ran 35 mins. on the treadmill (yes, it gets boring there, but 7 p.m. in Texas is still pretty sunny and hot, I am not running outside at 97 degrees and with 85% humidity! I know my limitations) I burned about 550 calories for a total of a little over 1000 calories burned from exercise (morning walk/rowing machine/evening run)… NOT BAD!

I had a calorie deficit of about 1500! for the day! My calorie intake was 1238… I am very proud of myself!

Yesterday I did have some more of my traditional temptations come my way… I also struggled with some “ol’ way of thinking” and “horrible bad habits” but I am happy I identified them all and defeated them! My two biggest temptations yesterday were:

1. My little one didn’t eat all of her food… I could’ve just finished it, yes, I am embarrassed to admit it but I used to do that all the time.

2. There was a pot of leftover delicious rice (rice, pasta and potatoes are big weaknesses for me) on the stove top… I felt like eating it all with a spoon, I actually GRABBED THE SPOON!!! but instead of putting it in my mouth (like I wanted to) I was strong enough to clear the area quickly, put the rice in a container and in the fridge, once I wiped it all with spray cleaner I felt much better and at ease. (it’s weird how these “attacks” come! it’s almost like something stronger than you! I could swear I am going to start shaking from wanting to eat something SOOO BAD!)

So… I had a very successful day! I must say I KNOW not weighing myself is a big part of it! Because I know if I had seen “the numbers” in the morning and I hadn’t lost any weight I would’ve found it harder to have any strength to resist the temptations.

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 4 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside