I never give up…

Hello peeps, if there’s anybody still around… or if anybody stops by and realizes that there was a long, long time since I last posted and that my last few posts were all about my struggle to find out the reasons why I didn’t seem to be able to lose weight… Just in case anybody wondered what happened to the lady who was looking for the thin-lady-inside of her… I am still here… I just want you to know that no matter what… no matter the struggles… I just DON’T GIVE UP! That’s right! … And while my weight kept slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) but surely creeping up… I never quit my battle against obesity… and while I did reach the 200’s again I didn’t gain all my weight back….

My last resort has been to invest in an expensive gym membership (which included 5 sessions with a fitness trainer and some blood work)

The blood work said what I already knew… Everything looks amazing in paper! They can tell I eat healthy and I exercise because the glucose is spot on, ideal numbers for triglycerides, HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, blood pressure EVERYTHING! … They did a cardio test and they also were able to prove that I wasn’t lying when I said I exercise every day! They got me on the elliptical and it did nothing! High resistance and incline and I was feeling like I was sitting on a couch! My hear rate was so stable and not spiking… I could talk through the whole test… it was… GREAT! The trainer said: Wow, you really are strong… and I even told him when everything was done: “Sorry, I just have to ask… am I the healthiest fat person you’ve ever helped?” I could tell he was afraid to answer … Poor guy! but he finally said: “I am going to have to say yes to that!” LOL… So he started explaining to me that my body had just simply adapted to EVERYTHING I DO… Yes… everything! Including the 10 mile walks, the eating healthy, everything! And when the discouragement came and I did eat out of my normal, healthy stuff… of course I saw even an increase… and that was doing it! So what am I doing now?

  1. Weight Lifting… I had never tried that and the trainer highly recommended it (plus I’ve always had the goal of looking somewhat like a bodybuilder… I know… it might seem crazy… but I really reach for that!)
  2. Switching things around more both with the food and the exercise… in regards to food I am sticking to strictly healthy stuff, avoiding grains but not excluding them, continuing to live a “sugar free lifestyle”, and sticking to what I already used to do of no artificial junk and stuff like that… BUT now I am just making sure that I am not always “eating the same” everyday… adding more fish to my diet and like my trainer said: “When things stop working, change things up a bit”
  3. I am not focusing on the scale…. After 2 weeks of all the training and sticking to my healthy food… I felt stronger yet the scale said I had lost only 2 pounds (what!? I am still walking 10 miles, plus 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of weights! How can that be?) well… looking deeper into it… and with the right equipment… ALL THE OTHER NUMBERS told a more encouraging story… I had lost 7.5 pounds of fat during those 2 weeks… yet gained 4.5 pounds of lean mass… AMAZING! Had I not known those details I know I would’ve let the 2 pounds be very discouraging! All that work for NOTHING??? BUT …. Now I know I have to REALLY trust other things more than the number on the scale… How do I feel? Am I getting stronger? How do the clothes feel? Etc… and I can’t let the scale ruin all those other tangible victories!
  4. Resting… With this I am still struggling… I have to trust what the trainer said about letting my body rest… I get this weird anxiety if I relax… I feel like I can’t sit or not train for a day because I will get huge… like… on that day! and this takes me to the next point…
  5. Training my mind as well… I am learning a lot about neuroplasticity… which is basically how our thinking affects our brains and our bodies… it might sound like it’s not something serious but being healthy involves our minds too… I have to change the way I think about myself… and even quit the negative thoughts that tell me “I’ll never get to accomplish something” and learn to relax, enjoy and not obsess.

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So … there you see me in the blurry picture above… I have those bands in my legs, I walk sideways with those and it is a great strength exercise for my legs (hips and thighs I think) … I am having a lot of fun and loving seeing results in my body… Hopefully my experience encourages you! I never quit… I just don’t… Find what works for you! I hope I can give you a great update soon!

The Thin Lady Inside

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Got fruit?

Hello everybody! Here I am again… just to share quickly about my weight and emotional state LOL! 🙂 After getting off of my soap box and once I stopped feeling sorry for myself (which unfortunately has been happening too often lately) I decided to be totally honest with myself and realize that I did some bad changes in my eating that would definitely affect my weight! I am not a victim… I hate the whole victim position so I refuse to “stay there” … Yes, it is true that I don’t lose weight like most people would if they are determined to do it… I do have thyroid issues and I gain weight faster than most people regardless of the meds… but I CAN lose weight, even if VERY slowly. I started to remind myself that I was seeing more consistent results with my weight when I incorporated more fruit in my diet and got rid of “low calorie” but “very processed” foods… So I am going back to the basics and eating way more fruit…

Right now I am enjoying 1/4 cup of organic strawberry yogurt (love Stonyfield), 1 apple, raw pecans, grapes and a few craisins every morning! It is sooo yummy!!! It is not a lot of yogurt but it is sooo satisfying and creamy! I feel like I am eating a dessert… almost like it’s too good to be ok for me to eat! LOL! 🙂 I am going back to my baked sweet potatoes as well… rather than rice and/or pasta… so… I am excited and in two days I lost 1/2 a pound…. the first day back to being really disciplined with my food I must admit I felt REALLY HUNGRY! My body was just asking for more food.. and something greasier if possible! LOL! but today it hasn’t been so hard.

Friday will be “Social Friday” for our Church Lifegroup and they’re already talking “Restaurants” … I will be looking the menu in advance to make sure I make all the right choices and still have a great time with everyone.

The Thin Lady Inside

Still baking

Hello everybody… I’ve continued to stay busy through cooking and baking…. but here I am… I have been doing great with my exercising and eating… On Sunday I walked/ran in the morning like I do everyday (except Tuesdays), then went to church, had lunch at Chili’s -went for the 250 cal. sirloin dish with a side of broccoli- and then, since the day was just glorious we went to a park where I got lots of steps in… we walked so much that I ended my day with almost 20,000 steps in! I felt really great! -exhausted but great-

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Tonight we will have a “Social” at a gym that is owned by some friends from church… there will be some “volleyball playing” and lots of eating… I have never played anything in my life… I am interested to do so but I am really bad at any game… I am afraid I will have to hang out with those who decide to stay by the food and sit… the playing does get quite competitive… and I am the kind of person that hides and dodges when the ball gets close… -sigh- we’ll see… I really want to “play something” but I don’t think tonight will be the right time for me to begin… I just hope I do good with all that food… I will do my best.

The Thin Lady Inside

Getting easier

So… again, after a few VERY, very rough days where I struggled to keep my eating under control but still did… is getting a bit easier… yes… once again… I hope it continues that way… I am eating more calories than in the beginning… I am at about 1400-1500 calories a day… to be able to actually avoid the sudden “hunger attacks” but I am making sure that every calorie comes from a healthy source even making my own hummus (I make chickpea hummus and cannellini bean hummus) and I’ve found that “34 degrees” (brand) crisps are a great solution for “salty cravings” … you eat 9 crisps for 50 calories and 0 grams of fat!  so I eat those with my homemade hummus with about 50 calories per serving and there you go… you can still enjoy a salty treat and eat healthy.

Anyway… I still have continued to bake… and cook… I baked another apple pie now for hubby and made a potato/corn chowder for dinner, it wasn’t the best idea to make a potato chowder after making a pie… it only made me get into “peeling and slicing” after being already tired of it.. so … I hope you are a better planner than I am and go for a simpler dessert if you ever make that… the chowder was delicious and since I had barely had any carbs during the day I indulged with it. It was so creamy and satisfying!
For lunch yesterday I had an amazing, big ham sandwich with an ultra thin slice of sharp cheddar from Sargento (I love those things! What a brilliant idea! REAL, WHOLE cheese for only 45 calories!) … and avocado.. for only 393 calories – I eat sugar free whole wheat bread which only has 45-50 cals per slice. (I went for a double serving of ham! it was sooo delicious!) Let me show you:

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And tonight… for dinner I cooked “Harvest time Chicken with Peppers” so delicious and comforting,  I used skinless chicken thighs which I lightly floured and then browned in a bit of olive oil, then transferred to a baking dish and in the skillet where I browned the chicken I then sauteed lots of onions, bell peppers (you can use all green, yellow and red, I unfortunately only had green) and fresh basil, fresh oregano and fresh parsley… plus fresh garlic, then added lots of chopped tomatoes, 1 1/2 cups of chicken stock -fat free- and seasoned with salt and black pepper, once it was all boiling I covered the chicken with the veggies, covered and baked for 30 mins. at 350 degrees, DONE!  I accompanied it with lots of steamed green beans. Talk about yummy!

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So… once again… I am rediscovering my passion for cooking healthy! Going back to the basics and even for shortcuts that I had forgotten like cans of light progresso soup to have available for those moments when I am feeling weak and in need of eating something warm. Yup… I am remembering that eating healthy shouldn’t be boring and bland… it shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice but a reward.

There it goes… I hope I continue this way!

The Thin Lady Inside

Ah… the temptation

Hello everybody… so … I’ve been doing good… BUT… it’s been hard… for the last couple days I’ve opened invitations for all my fb contacts (in the area) to come and eat cupcakes or just even stop by and pick a cupcake up for free obviously… I love having people over… I love adding some “sweetness” to someone else’s day … so I figure my baking is the way to do it 🙂 I love it because my girls get to have a great time and they enjoy playing with the children of the moms who stop by for their cupcakes… and the moms stay and sit for a while and just enjoy some “girl talk” while their little ones play with my girls… They always tell me they leave my house “refreshed” and that makes me feel so happy! I want my girls to be always hospitable … rather than focusing on being good entertainers… and I don’t want them to wait to have “the perfect home” or “the perfect dishes” … the “matching napkins” … all that is cute… and I do want it as well… LOL! But I think, here, in the USA… whatever it is you have is ALREADY PERFECT.. If you have air conditioner during summer or heat during winter in your house … it is already PERFECT! trust this Mexican!

Anyway… So… I made lots of cupcakes to share… and people loved them (I was tagged in some sweet pictures of cupcakes or empty cupcake liners on facebook with lots of “thanks”) … BUT… and here’s the but… hearing over and over how good my cupcakes were, giving a cupcake to every child, woman and even a guy who stopped by to get one… started to turn into a temptation… I could’ve just bended my arm a little more, direct my hand to my mouth and… bite! and enjoy what everybody else was enjoying! LOL! … But then I managed and realized I didn’t really “want or need” the cupcake… it would’ve been more like “social eating” rather than a real need or want… so … I did good with that…

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This is the picture I used to invite everyone over… I had just made them!

But then, last night… I was tired and had to pick hubby up from work (his car just died) and I had no chance to make dinner… I was hungry and exhausted… so I told hubby “how about eating chinese?” he was so hungry he agreed and said “oooh! Yes” so I started thinking of all this deliciousness! I thought “yeah… it’s not that bad… and then I’ll just burn it off the next days” but… once we got home (hubby would go get the food) I just started cooking dinner… I made myself a very healthy hamburger with sandwich thins, lean meat, avocado, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles and I made hubby “breakfast” which he always loves for dinner (eggs, bacon, english muffin with jelly) and that’s what we had… I was happy and proud of myself… hubby was confused… but I explained I was acting on impulse and motivated by my being too tired and hungry… but I knew better than that… he was proud of me… I was proud as well! I am so happy I can now write this instead of sharing with you what could’ve been a whole different story… full of excuses and loaded with guilt!

Today… is a good day!

The Thin Lady Inside

Going back victoriously!

Hello everybody! I am here and I am pumped… My friend and I got back to walking in the morning this morning, I hope we’ll be running again soon! I miss it! But it’s good to at least be back to a routine… she had a family reunion and left on Thursday, they got back on Monday but Tuesdays is the day when we don’t walk because of my hubby’s schedule so finally we got back at it… I’ve been staying in control and even when I’ve gained 1 pound I am staying positive because the numbers in the scale still look smaller than they used to… I can handle 176  and I work towards seeing the 160’s soon! We’re going to be going on a family vacation in September… to the place where we first lived when we first got married… Wisconsin! We’ve lived in Texas only for 2 years and I soooo miss the beautiful place where we lived… it’s like heaven on earth! And I can’t wait to see family and friends! But… I must confess some of the things that I am looking forward to the most are the following:

1. Going back victoriously! I left Wisconsin at 222+ pounds and I will go back at hopefully low 170’s (and it will be a dream come true if I can reach 160’s by then… but I know I have to stay realistic and not get stressed out about that or it can have the opposite effect)

2. REALLY enjoying  all these beautiful places I used to go to when I lived there but I never fully enjoyed! Now… with a much lighter body and much more physical strength I look forward to the walks in the beautiful parks, the apple picking, the hay rides, playing in the leaves! Instead of watching on the side while daddy runs around with the girls!

3. Running by Lake Michigan! I love Lake Michigan! It’s so beautiful! And I’d go with hubby as often as we could (we lived 15 min. from it) and I would just sit on a bench… I can’t wait to RUN THERE!

I am so excited! I really can’t wait! Prayers for safe travels are appreciated! There’s still time… we’ll go in about 3 weeks and I am just thrilled! (we’ll drive to get there and back… so… yes… prayers appreciated!)

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 8 -82 to go: I just couldn’t!

Hello everybody! Here I am… to report, like everyday during these 90 day goal that I have set for myself, how I am doing… Yesterday (Tuesday) was supposed to be my “day of rest” just a day where I wouldn’t do my regular exercise because of something I read where you need to let you body rest for a day not only for the muscles to heal but also to keep the body from “adapting” it’s kind of a “reset button” thing… 🙂 … And I just couldn’t! I couldn’t not exercise! Without my morning walk I was all jittery all day long! It’s not like “I love exercising” … I feel like I haven’t gotten there yet… I always wonder if I ever will… So I was kind of looking forward to not doing a thing! LOL! But I couldn’t… You can still consider it my “day of rest” because I didn’t go to the gym and I didn’t run like I always do… But all day long I kept looking for ways to keep moving otherwise the energy was almost unbearable! LOL! So even while watching TV I would get my Wii Balance Board out and without even turning it on I used it as a “small step” and I did almost 13,000  steps during the day… I reached 6 miles… So… I feel like it was still good “rest” for my body from the High Impact exercises of the week but I didn’t just sit all day!

Then in the night I watched the “Extreme Weight Loss” show! WOW! That was amazing! The show was about this African American girl who talked about how in her culture it seems that in many families (not all)  “bigger is better” and “unhealthy is normal” … everybody in her family had weight issues and diabetes is seen as something you just “get” … they actually discouraged her to lose weight even when she was over 300 pounds…. but this girl was determined and she lost all the weight! Oh my goodness! Her personality was already like “the sun” but when she lost all the excess of weight … WOW! She gained extra confidence and showed the world who she truly is! I was telling my sister today (I already talked to her at 7:30 a.m.) that it’s almost like if they got psychological therapy! I mean the attitude and overall demeanor changes so much when the pounds are gone! But that’s what exercising and eating right does to you! Not only you lose weight! You prove yourself what you’re really made of and how strong you really are when you thought you weren’t! I love it! By the way… My sister (who I had already talked about before), she’s exercising everyday and eating right! I am so proud of her! I look forward to the day when she leaves me behind (being that I struggle so much being stuck in this weight) and that she loses even more weight than I have! She is proud of herself as well… and I can hear it in her voice… THIS IS IT! She is determined and tomorrow will be her first weigh-in (after 1 week) so I pray and hope the scale will be nice to her… still I hope she also remembers what I’ve failed to remember many times… the numbers on the scale don’t determine who I am or If I am being successful… Just the fact that we are doing THIS already makes us successful and says how strong we are! anyway… I am just happy… Well.. the thing is though… that I was going to go to the gym this morning but after my overly-energetic day yesterday I crashed! LOL! And I couldn’t even get up from bed at 6 but it will still be an active day and I hope I will be able to squeeze a run in my busy schedule ahead of me.

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 8 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside