I never give up…

Hello peeps, if there’s anybody still around… or if anybody stops by and realizes that there was a long, long time since I last posted and that my last few posts were all about my struggle to find out the reasons why I didn’t seem to be able to lose weight… Just in case anybody wondered what happened to the lady who was looking for the thin-lady-inside of her… I am still here… I just want you to know that no matter what… no matter the struggles… I just DON’T GIVE UP! That’s right! … And while my weight kept slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) but surely creeping up… I never quit my battle against obesity… and while I did reach the 200’s again I didn’t gain all my weight back….

My last resort has been to invest in an expensive gym membership (which included 5 sessions with a fitness trainer and some blood work)

The blood work said what I already knew… Everything looks amazing in paper! They can tell I eat healthy and I exercise because the glucose is spot on, ideal numbers for triglycerides, HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, blood pressure EVERYTHING! … They did a cardio test and they also were able to prove that I wasn’t lying when I said I exercise every day! They got me on the elliptical and it did nothing! High resistance and incline and I was feeling like I was sitting on a couch! My hear rate was so stable and not spiking… I could talk through the whole test… it was… GREAT! The trainer said: Wow, you really are strong… and I even told him when everything was done: “Sorry, I just have to ask… am I the healthiest fat person you’ve ever helped?” I could tell he was afraid to answer … Poor guy! but he finally said: “I am going to have to say yes to that!” LOL… So he started explaining to me that my body had just simply adapted to EVERYTHING I DO… Yes… everything! Including the 10 mile walks, the eating healthy, everything! And when the discouragement came and I did eat out of my normal, healthy stuff… of course I saw even an increase… and that was doing it! So what am I doing now?

  1. Weight Lifting… I had never tried that and the trainer highly recommended it (plus I’ve always had the goal of looking somewhat like a bodybuilder… I know… it might seem crazy… but I really reach for that!)
  2. Switching things around more both with the food and the exercise… in regards to food I am sticking to strictly healthy stuff, avoiding grains but not excluding them, continuing to live a “sugar free lifestyle”, and sticking to what I already used to do of no artificial junk and stuff like that… BUT now I am just making sure that I am not always “eating the same” everyday… adding more fish to my diet and like my trainer said: “When things stop working, change things up a bit”
  3. I am not focusing on the scale…. After 2 weeks of all the training and sticking to my healthy food… I felt stronger yet the scale said I had lost only 2 pounds (what!? I am still walking 10 miles, plus 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of weights! How can that be?) well… looking deeper into it… and with the right equipment… ALL THE OTHER NUMBERS told a more encouraging story… I had lost 7.5 pounds of fat during those 2 weeks… yet gained 4.5 pounds of lean mass… AMAZING! Had I not known those details I know I would’ve let the 2 pounds be very discouraging! All that work for NOTHING??? BUT …. Now I know I have to REALLY trust other things more than the number on the scale… How do I feel? Am I getting stronger? How do the clothes feel? Etc… and I can’t let the scale ruin all those other tangible victories!
  4. Resting… With this I am still struggling… I have to trust what the trainer said about letting my body rest… I get this weird anxiety if I relax… I feel like I can’t sit or not train for a day because I will get huge… like… on that day! and this takes me to the next point…
  5. Training my mind as well… I am learning a lot about neuroplasticity… which is basically how our thinking affects our brains and our bodies… it might sound like it’s not something serious but being healthy involves our minds too… I have to change the way I think about myself… and even quit the negative thoughts that tell me “I’ll never get to accomplish something” and learn to relax, enjoy and not obsess.

strong

So … there you see me in the blurry picture above… I have those bands in my legs, I walk sideways with those and it is a great strength exercise for my legs (hips and thighs I think) … I am having a lot of fun and loving seeing results in my body… Hopefully my experience encourages you! I never quit… I just don’t… Find what works for you! I hope I can give you a great update soon!

The Thin Lady Inside

Since I am not pregnant….

Hello friends… I am back… it’s been a couple of whinny days here for me… I truly believe my hormones might be playing with me…. No AF yet (AF stands for “Always Faithful” and … well… a woman should understand the term) …. so… No AF yet and still struggling with hot flashed and mood swings… I consider myself to be a mostly happy person and very balanced… but lately I find myself irritable and over-reactive… I think of myself as a very rational person and… so much so… that I know I AM BEING IRRATIONAL too often lately. I hate it. So… I hope that starts to “fix itself” as I find motivation to continue working with my weight and exercising.

As of now… I am starting something NEW … A friend of mine told me of this “new” thing that’s going on… The name is “Trim Healthy Mama” … has any of you heard about it? Well… it’s a different kind of eating system… it’s not really “new” because obviously there’s “nothing new under the sun” … it’s about the way we combine foods (I’ve been reading and I think they always refer to food as “fuel”) so they tell you of the types of fuel you should eat and how you should change them and not combine them, etc….

It seems to not exclude entire groups of foods (which I like) and it’s not based on calorie counting (which scares me… because I’ve mastered that one! I have so much “calorie information” in my brain that I feel like it’s all been a waste!) but I am willing and open to try something else before I even consider medication as the doctor suggested.

So… I am excited, scared and realistic… also optimistic but mostly realistic… I ordered the Trim Healthy Mama Book and I am waiting for it… just ordered it today and will be here in about a week. I’ll let you all know what I think about it! My friend who suggested it used to count calories on myfitnesspal too and she was doing good but nothing “out of the ordinary” … then she tried the THM method and has lost a lot even over the holidays! and she says she feels satisfied and great. So… we’ll see… I know we’re all different and what works for some might not work for others but I’d rather try it all than quit! That’s not an option… EVER!

I just wanted to give an update… Thank you all for standing by me!

The Thin Lady Inside.

Ah! The sickness!

Hello everybody! (and by everybody… it’s usually Shadowrun, Dave and Jackie) … thank you for caring about me! I sooo appreciate it! And I care about you all as well! It’s just been a rough few weeks here… First my oldest girl got sick… just a bad cold… sleepless nights with her because she was so congested that she would have a hard time breathing at night, she would cry, cough, gag… and mommy… well… mommy was the best pillow she could find… as we started coming out of it… my littlest one followed… she is soo strong that she would be “ok” during the day, just cranky and moody… I thought it was all because she was fighting a cold… but she had a little bit of fever and then it would get even higher at night… more sleepless nights, fever, angry, crying, just very upset… after a few days I finally took her to the doctor, I was hoping it would be the same thing my oldest had and it would just “go away on its own” … but no… the doctor told me she had really bad ear infections! I felt so bad I didn’t take her in sooner… so, guilt combined with sleeplessness equals: mommy bawling at the doctor’s office… not pretty! then… she got better… but… of course it couldn’t stop there… then it was me! I got a very bad cold but I missed so many days running taking care of my girlies that I felt I had to do it! So I kept running until hubby said “You’re crazy! You’re not going today” LOL! I guess it didn’t make much sense for him to spoil me so much taking care of PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING and then me going out to run! LOL! ๐Ÿ™‚ So yesterday I didn’t run… although I was finally feeling a bit better… Sunday was the worst! I didn’t do the 5k that I had planned on running -sigh- I was sooo looking forward to it!

I have gained a little bit of weight but I know it’s because of the lack of consistent exercise… I am still counting calories and I will never, ever give up… you can count on that… God is my strength, He is my comfort in the times when I might feel in despair… and my family… well… they are a great motivation for me to keep going… I never want to go back to my bigger prison… I still don’t feel like I am “where I want to be” but I can’t keep just mourning my lack of weight loss or I would get really exhausted and consider “giving up” so I am learning to enjoy where I am now… hey … I am so many pounds lighter than when I started… I wear jeans size 10… I can run!!!! I have to enjoy this… and in my enjoying “this” I find enough motivation to keep exercising and eating right… I would never want to live a sad, inactive life again (if you could call it a life) where I sit and eat and watch others DO what I would love to be doing… THAT is not an option anymore…

Thank you all for checking on me! I love you so much! You have no idea how much it means to me to come back here and know that YOU ALL are there! I will check on you all soon too.. I am about to leave for “Mom2Mom” event at church… I coordinate the “Mentor Moms” and later I will help with the food pantry and later some grocery shopping… and later… well… I’ll try to squeeze my run in there! But I promise I’ll check your blogs as soon as I get to sit!

Love ya!

The Thin Lady Inside

What’s going on…

Hello peeps! We had a WONDERFUL, just wonderful time in Wisconsin… and I did pretty good with my eating and staying active… BUT… BUT…. yes… there’s a BUT… the return wasn’t that smooth… well… first of all… I got sick right the day before we started our trip back home… I completely lost my voice! That was the day I was going to have my “date” with hubby at the same restaurant when we first went on a date there… and… well… I couldn’t speak! I still didn’t want to let that ruin my time so I guess I was a “very good listener” LOL! although my throat was killing me!

I am so happy our first date was at a “Health Food place” because it’s easy to go there again and order good stuff… Here’s what I ate:

Tuna Melt with Alfalfa Sprouts and Indian Rice

Tuna Melt with Alfalfa Sprouts and Indian Rice

Then we went to our favorite coffee shop, the name of that place used to be “Alterra” but they sold the name to Mars Inc. so it’s now “Colectivo”. I still love the place!

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I had a “cortado” 1/2 espresso 1/2 milk foam and he had his usual strong black coffee

IMG_8039

“Alterra” (or Colectivo now) uses old historical buildings for their shops, this is in the old water pump building that used to supply water from Lake Michigan to the city of Milwaukee

So, date was “fine” and pretty silent… but it was nice to go to those places. Then, Friday we began our journey back home and for some reason… I just ate! It’s like I almost “ruined” the entire time of vacation that I did good… -sigh- back home I checked my weight and I gained 3 pounds (in those 2 days of traveling back) – I am going to blame it on the fact that it was too hard being silent… so… how else could I use my time on a road trip? well… I ate! Back home I have struggled to get back in line but I already lost some of the weight I gained… I am positive and setting new goals for myself… I am right now 176 pounds and I want to be in the 160’s by the end of the year (even if it’s 169.9 LOL!). It is also nice to get back into my routine of my morning walks as well!

My voice… well… it’s coming back (although still pretty raspy) but at least I feel much better.

That’s it forย  now…

Thanks for being patient with me.

The Thin Lady Inside

174.2

Well… that’s my weight this morning… It seems I gained a little but I don’t really “feel like it” … I have been feeling and looking thinner… so … I am pretty sure it’s more hormone related … yes… AF showed up… so I might just be retaining liquids or something…

That’s it… just wanted to report that ๐Ÿ˜€ … It’s now obvious I won’t reach my goal of crossing to the 160’s for our trip… but I am ok with it.

Gotta go now!

The Thin Lady Inside

Slow but steady!

Hello people! I am here just to say that I am continuing to see slow progress in my weight… First of all I am thankful with God… because if He wasn’t giving me strength I would’ve probably quit a long time ago, when I stopped seeing any results (on the scale)… I am thankful I still saw health improvements and that also kept me motivated to go on… But right now I am just thrilled to start seeing the numbers go down again… I think what’s been doing it also is … well… the thyroid hormone treatment, I am sure it’s helping… BUT also the changes I made… trying to get rid of processed stuff (my nightly ice cream treat) that even when it was low in calories it still had plenty of sugar… I am actually eating about 150 more calories a day (I am usually at 1350 calories now) I substituted the nightly ice cream for fruit that I eat throughout the day… I think when I made the switch I started seeing some of this progress… It might have been the “extra push” my body was needing

Today I am 174.1 pounds (I hadn’t been able to leave the 178 -182 pound range for a long, long, long, long time -over a year of trying and trying-)

and I am ecstatic! My hopes and dreams of hopefully crossing to the 160’s before going on our Family Vacation might not be too far fetched anymore. We shall see!

The Thin Lady Inside

No zumba!

Hello everybody… Just a quick update… I promise I’ll reply to the comments on my previous post as soon as I have a chance… I am just stopping by to say that my day yesterday ended great and that today I didn’t go to “zumba” after all… I was very unsettled the whole day about thinking of leaving my girls in a gym’s daycare… especially because I’ve never been to that gym! And when I heard the area where the gym is I just knew I didn’t even know the area… but when I told hubby about it he told me that it’s a very, VERY dangerous rough place and that I can definitely not go there, especially leaving the girls there… so I called my friend to tell her we can have lunch together instead after her gym… She’s about to get here and I have prepared a healthy lunch… bread, thinly sliced turkey, very thinly sliced sharp cheddar cheese, sliced tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, baby carrots, strawberries, grapes and pickles… I also have some potato chips and juice for the little ones…

Part of what's for lunch

Part of what’s for lunch

I am very happy to feel like I can still be a good hostess and have healthy options for my guests, I can still put together a good spread, enjoy with them and not feel guilty afterwards!

Ok… gotta go now! Peace out!

The Thin Lady Inside