I am a sore loser!

Hello everyone! Here I am … first let me wish you all a “Happy Valentine’s Day” … I am still thinking about healthy treats I can make for hubby so we can enjoy them together… I ordered my 100%birch (USA made) Xylitol yesterday on amazon… (xylitol is a natural sweetener that is plan approved and does not affect your glycemic index, there are two kinds… corn based which is GMO and birch which is good and the one that we will be using) so… anyway… I ordered it and I will be getting it in about 5-8 days… so… obviously I can’t use it to bake… Stevia has too much of a weird (and very bitter) aftertaste for me especially when baking so … I can’t think of anything else to make! We’ll see.

So… yes… I am a sore loser… it turns out that yesterday I got back on my rowing machine… it had been abandoned for a long time and yesterday started back at it… I could only manage 5 minutes! (INCREDIBLE! ONLY 5! I was up to 1 hour before!) but at least I am doing it again… I am soooo sore from just 5 minutes of rowing! This morning I hesitantly weighed myself just because I am weighing every week… I lost 3.1 pounds! it is awesome! I am so excited about it! Thank God!!! I hope everything will continue to go in the right direction… as you know I have gained almost 20 pounds of the 50 I had originally lost… I was sad to have reached 190 pounds again… and today I am 187! It’s a lot but I am going down… so I am happy to be a loser! AGAIN! I can keep losing like this every week! LOL! 🙂

So that’s it… I just wanted to share that with you… have to go because my breakfast is waiting for me!

The Thin Lady Inside

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I am a legalistic “dieter”

Hello everybody! Here I am! Today was my first day in the “Trim Healthy Mama” (THM for short) method! I am all happy, excited, doubtful, nervous, motivated, fearful, encouraged and skeptic at the same time. THM has facebook groups and I am there probably making the moderators go crazy… 1st. I post about how excited I am … then I question the whole “concept” behind it… then I humbly admit I am afraid of failing and later I am all excited all over again. Yes…. all in ONE Day!

The thing is that this is what *I* would call a “Grace based method” … they tell you to eat certain things (like butter) “freely” … now … these ladies, the ones that wrote the book and created this system… FOR SURE DON’T KNOW *ME* … You can NOT tell me to eat “anything” freely because…. MY freely looks very different from most people’s freely.

The idea behind the method is to leave your “calorie counting” behind and to embrace the fact that your body will know what to do with the calories you eat if you make good choices and do not mix “fuel types” (fuel types talking about fat vs. carb) so… While for some meals I get to eat very fatty everything and very low carbs … for others the carbs are increased and the fats really decreased while keeping “protein” always at the center.

When eating those “fatty meals” they don’t give you “calorie numbers” or “amount limits” (except for very few items) so… that “freedom” makes me very nervous…

I speak about “grace and legalism” because that’s what I can compare it to… You know? For example… We are saved by GRACE and not through good works… Jesus died for us on the cross, resurrected and paid the price… there’s nothing I need to add to that… it was finished. BUT … out of love (and not because of the “law”) we live a “grace based” life… living for him… with the freedom to choose and do the right thing… just because it comes natural, there are struggles but doing good works, even when not necessary for salvation are just a response to that grace that has been given to us…

But… there are other people… that might feel the need to abide “by the law” even when knowing that ONLY GRACE saves… the law keeps them accountable… especially for those things where they might be weaker… just to give an example… some see “drinking alcohol” as a freedom and as something we can do “in moderation” … some others completely abstain from it… and feel it’s a form of sin… the one under “grace” might feel it’s “stupid” to have those “legalistic boundaries” but for the one who might struggle with alcohol those “boundaries” are actually “liberating”

I don’t even know if I am making any sense… with what i am trying to say… The way I see it is like this: “when it comes to eating I NEED THE LAW” … I need the restrictions, the amounts and numbers… and the good thing is that even when THM is not ABOUT THAT you can still “adapt it” to what works for you without “getting far from the plan”

So… what I do … is… eat the things recommended by the plan… with the formulas used by the plan (never mixing fuels, keeping carbs at bay when eating “S type meals” and keeping fats low when eating “E type meals”, etc.) but I ALSO count calories… now  I don’t try to keep them at the low numbers of 1200-1400 but “I watch them” to not exceed the “healthy numbers” and I feel … that by doing this… I keep myself accountable, in check and in a healthy balance.

I know many people hate counting calories… and they see it as a “dreadful restriction”… for me… I find freedom in those limits!!!

So… I guess now that I’ve thought of how I am going to approach this new method… I can say… I am EXCITED!

My day today looks like this so far: (Today I am doing a LOW CARB DAY – only THM “S” type meals- just because of my ‘carb addiction’ I am “shocking my body” but my future days will not look like this)

s day

(Daily Goals are determined by the amount of exercise, etc… and based on my previous settings for “low calorie days” so those are not the ones to follow for THM, the numbers that I follow are the “totals”)

I hope this will work for me.

The Thin Lady Inside

Let’s run

After my gain weight of the holidays (if you remember I gained a total of 16 pounds like it was nothing!) I hadn’t been able to run… I started walking, walking, walking again…Today I started to introduce “running” for short periods of time during my walk! It felt good! It was hard because it’s been so long… and my heart rate got high real quick (my recovery time was good though) but I want to get back to running and being able to do it without feeling like I am going to pass out… I know I’ll get there!

I’ve been doing really good keeping my calories down… although I’ve been eating more bread than I should… I started to see a very slow weight loss and got out of obesity one more time and I am in the overweight range again… unfortunately last night I succumbed to temptation and ate meatloaf (thankfully made with extra lean turkey) and mac and cheese (which was just unholy! it was loaded with whole cheddar cheese and lots of butter) I shouldn’t have done that and I’m paying for it… I had “hot flashes” again all night long … it’s definitely high calorie food that makes me go through that, I had my doubts but I confirmed it… and it’s SOOO not enjoyable that it is for sure going to help me stay away from foods like that!

Well… anyway…. I’m proud of my progress and happy I’m regaining motivation and excitement about all this!

The Thin Lady Inside

And then some more…

Hello friends! I read all of your comments to my previous post… thank you for supporting me on my highs and lows! You all rock!

So…. talking about highs (*rolling eyes*) turns out that when I weighed myself on Friday and was all bummed out (and wrote the previous post) I was tempted to eat a big thing of pasta with meat sauce I made… I decided I didn’t care anymore and then, when I served all that food on a plate… I realized it was stupid, crazy and senseless! So… if I gain one pound I am going to eat myself into oblivion just to make me gain more, feel horrible and get even further from my goal? NO!  I put the food away and ate none of it… felt awesome! Proud and happy for my decision! I went to bed pretty hungry I must say! LOL and then in the morning ran to the scale to weigh myself like if my “good action” could “magically” give me the results I expected and “miraculously” I would get the “reward” from it… So… imagine my “surprise” when I see the scale go up even HIGHER! I gained another 1.1 pounds… I blinked repeatedly like if I could make it all go away… like if somehow I could change things by blinking! When I stopped I actually laughed and carried on… didn’t let it bum me too much and it really helped that I went to church to focus on greater (and less carnal) things… At least this body is not eternal! 🙂 My spirit is… and lately I have been too concerned with what I eat or not eat… so much that I have been neglecting my spiritual feeding! I know that part of my obesity might be due to the stress I went through with my dad accompanied by the great amounts of food I ate while going through it… (horrible combination) and I know that I still have to watch what I eat, etc… but I need to quit letting it consume me because this “mindset” and emotional state will not help my weight loss efforts.

So… after church I went out for lunch and did great… I felt actually like some “weight” was lifted off of me… I came home, took a long nap and enjoyed the evening with my family afterwards… Today I weighed almost a pound less… and I laughed again… who cares? I keep doing this… I keep forgetting this is my lifestyle and there’s nothing that can bum me out enough to quit it!

Today I’ve been doing great and got out of my pj’s early! I was actually PUTTING ON my pj’s everyday after I showered! it was like my “outfit of choice” … I am making myself get into my jeans and look a bit better…

So… here I am … Thank you all for commenting!

The Thin Lady Inside

Feeling lighter …. is it my imagination?

Hello everybody! So… today is a great day! I am feeling lighter and I’ve been sleeping better… I am definitely not going through “hot flashes” at night anymore… I knew it was the high calorie diet I had during the holidays that was making me feel like “I was on fire” … I’m back to normal with my body temperature and even whatever stomach issue caused by overeating or eating junk I get is gone! Since my gallbladder was removed I really shouldn’t eat much flours/greasy stuff or spicy… when I do I give myself “IBS” kind of symptoms… I am telling you … IT IS BAD! Even makes me wonder “why in the world I do that to myself” and then I ask for another soda! LOL! … But… now that I am back to my healthy eating/exercising… all of those symptoms are gone and I am better! Plus… walking with my friend every morning is a TRUE blessing! we talk, cry, laugh and hug all in one hour! I mean… we mean business… we are walking really briskly and if/when I run I am still focused on my heart rate, etc… but… we truly take advantage of that hour and get all of our stuff out there! LOL! It’s like therapy!

Today… after our walk… I truly felt “lighter” I came home so excited, actually looking forward to see the number on the scale… but it didn’t move… I am still the same weight I was a week ago (when I started to watch what I eat) … and as you know… I even gained weight “in between” these days… but… I am just happy I am feeling lighter and I don’t think it is my imagination… my jeans feel better too… of course I haven’t washed them yet (LOL) but I put them on just to go to the grocery store (next door) and they did feel different (not only “I’ve worn them many times already” different, but … different) So… I am excited and looking forward to continue moving in the right direction.

The Thin Lady Inside

I can’t wash my jeans!

Well, here I am… My “New Year Resolution” of not spending so much time on the computer is going great… I think I am even getting uninterested! I never thought I would say that! I am having fun staying busy with my girlies!

So… today… I said good-bye to obesity (again) … as I said… it was just a brief, very brief visit (thankfully) … I am still standing at the very door of obesity’s home though… I lost only about 7 ounces… so… I even joked around with hubby after he excitedly congratulated me for being “overweight” again… and I said: “oh yeah? well… look at me get back to being obese” -and chugged down a cup of water- LOL! … yes… a cup of water or eating an apple could put me back to obesity in a blink! because 7 ounces it’s not that much… but it’s progress!

Even when I am not “obese” anymore (according to WiiFit) I still can’t wash my jeans! I mean… if I wash them… I won’t be able to get in them… I need them nice and loosened for a few more days… they still get super tight on the waist… and I get a beautiful looking muffin top! -oy-

Anyway… Just wanted to report that it’s all going well here… exercising and counting calories … Today my calorie intake was about 1400 so I am very proud!

That’s it for now…

The Thin Lady Inside

I’m just stopping by but not staying

Hello everybody! I know “my cold weather” seems like something to laugh about when you live in places that get below zero temperatures…. I remember being in Wisconsin and laughing when people said it was cold at 40 degrees… this morning we were at 24 degrees… but … I am telling you… it’s cold for Texas! Again, my friend and I went for our morning walk and we were, again, the only ones out! She said “we are crazy” and she’s right… I like this craziness though!

On a sad, sad note… today I stepped on the scale and went from being overweight to obese! I gained +0.7 pounds and that took me “there” … I had already made “eye contact” with obesity recently (the Wii Fit makes it very clear that you understand “YOU ARE OBESE” when you weigh yourself) but I actually thought “eye contact” would be it… it turns out I stopped by and I am now totally in “obesity territory” … I hope it knows I am “here” just for a brief visit!

Today I was hoping the numbers had actually gone down a bit more… that was not the case… quite the opposite… but at least I am already doing stuff about it… it is still a bummer! I hadn’t been in the “obese range” for about a year and a half! -sigh-

My calorie intake for today is a total of 1396 calories… I exercised and stayed active all day long… so I am quite proud!

The Thin Lady Inside