Birthday cake!

Hello everybody! Here I am, doing good, just super busy though… I had to bake cookies and cake for my birthday girl! I can’t believe she turned 5! How did that happen? I was just holding her for the first time not long ago and … she is 5??? How dare she? 🙂 Here is the birthday girl and what I made for her:

 

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She wanted a cat (but not kitty) on her cakes… so, there’s the cat! 😀

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When I was making them I thought the petals resembled “bunny ears” so these would be good for Easter too 😛

We were very blessed with lots of friends who came over and celebrated with us yesterday… and I didn’t even have a slice of cake… trust me… I really wanted to… and I had perfect excuses in my head “it’s your daughter’s birthday! How come are you not eating cake” but my daughter was having so much fun with her friends she could’ve cared less if I ate cake or not… so I was not “offending anybody” by not eating… and I stayed strong!

Today I weigh: 173.5 pounds… which is a whole other pound I’ve lost! It’s not a lot… and it’s not fast… but it’s consistent! And I am just thrilled to not be stuck between 178-182 anymore! I hope I’ll continue going this way! It hasn’t been easy… it sure hasn’t! I have been so hungry these few days… but I am staying strong!

🙂 Just wanted to make sure I stopped by and shared with all of you

The Thin Lady Inside

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Ah… the temptation

Hello everybody… so … I’ve been doing good… BUT… it’s been hard… for the last couple days I’ve opened invitations for all my fb contacts (in the area) to come and eat cupcakes or just even stop by and pick a cupcake up for free obviously… I love having people over… I love adding some “sweetness” to someone else’s day … so I figure my baking is the way to do it 🙂 I love it because my girls get to have a great time and they enjoy playing with the children of the moms who stop by for their cupcakes… and the moms stay and sit for a while and just enjoy some “girl talk” while their little ones play with my girls… They always tell me they leave my house “refreshed” and that makes me feel so happy! I want my girls to be always hospitable … rather than focusing on being good entertainers… and I don’t want them to wait to have “the perfect home” or “the perfect dishes” … the “matching napkins” … all that is cute… and I do want it as well… LOL! But I think, here, in the USA… whatever it is you have is ALREADY PERFECT.. If you have air conditioner during summer or heat during winter in your house … it is already PERFECT! trust this Mexican!

Anyway… So… I made lots of cupcakes to share… and people loved them (I was tagged in some sweet pictures of cupcakes or empty cupcake liners on facebook with lots of “thanks”) … BUT… and here’s the but… hearing over and over how good my cupcakes were, giving a cupcake to every child, woman and even a guy who stopped by to get one… started to turn into a temptation… I could’ve just bended my arm a little more, direct my hand to my mouth and… bite! and enjoy what everybody else was enjoying! LOL! … But then I managed and realized I didn’t really “want or need” the cupcake… it would’ve been more like “social eating” rather than a real need or want… so … I did good with that…

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This is the picture I used to invite everyone over… I had just made them!

But then, last night… I was tired and had to pick hubby up from work (his car just died) and I had no chance to make dinner… I was hungry and exhausted… so I told hubby “how about eating chinese?” he was so hungry he agreed and said “oooh! Yes” so I started thinking of all this deliciousness! I thought “yeah… it’s not that bad… and then I’ll just burn it off the next days” but… once we got home (hubby would go get the food) I just started cooking dinner… I made myself a very healthy hamburger with sandwich thins, lean meat, avocado, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles and I made hubby “breakfast” which he always loves for dinner (eggs, bacon, english muffin with jelly) and that’s what we had… I was happy and proud of myself… hubby was confused… but I explained I was acting on impulse and motivated by my being too tired and hungry… but I knew better than that… he was proud of me… I was proud as well! I am so happy I can now write this instead of sharing with you what could’ve been a whole different story… full of excuses and loaded with guilt!

Today… is a good day!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 7 – 83 to go: No running pal!

Hello everybody… Here I am to report how yesterday went! It was the 7th day of this 90 day program that I’ve made for myself in hopes of “shocking my body” and hopefully seeing some difference… The “rules” for these 90 Days are:

1. No scale

2. Exercising consistently – no excuses – (I was already doing that, I am just trying to do it twice a day now instead of only once) – except for one day of rest in the week –

3. Staying at 1200-1400 calories (trying to hit the 1200 rather than the 1400)

If you’ve been following this blog you know I haven’t lost weight for a long year (a little more than that) regardless of the fact that I SHOULD be losing because I always have a calorie deficit… BUT after I found out that I have some issues (not major) with my thyroid, etc… I realized getting rid of the rest would be harder than I thought… And the problem I was running into was that I was eating more than 1200 calories every day… and then I would get discouraged because I wouldn’t see any change on the scale and I would just go into BINGING mode…  so I am sure that wasn’t helping my “weight loss efforts” particularly with the slower metabolism I have … I can’t afford those days of discouragement and excuses! So… I decided to do this for 90 days, as strictly as I can and without looking at the numbers on a scale! Those just bring me down! And hopefully, after these 90 days… I will see even if at least a little bit of change… or even if just more strength to keep going!

So… Yesterday was my 7th day… My running pal is on a summer camp right now (watching after middle schoolers) so I am on my own this week… Our morning walks are suspended for the week just because it’s too dark outside for me to go on my own (we have had several “scares” the two of us together so I can’t risk it on my own). I will be going to the gym in the mornings instead for my walk … yesterday, I just couldn’t get up to go to the gym in the morning though… I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and then my girl (4 yr. old) was coughing at night and ended up sleeping by me so in the morning I came back to consciousness at 8:30 a.m. when hubby had already left for work) But at night I went to the gym when he arrived and I ran for an hour on the treadmill… It felt intense but it was really good! I burned over 700 calories there. I had to make some adjustments with my eating and skim my nightly ice cream treat because I used all of my calories during the day… I was just hungry! And that’s what I’ve noticed about not exercising in the morning, it makes it harder for me to stay in control with the food during the day (weird!) So I ate 1400 calories and burned a total of 2500 calories, giving me a calorie deficit of 1100 for the day! Which is good (but I always want MORE!).

It was a good day overall… Let’s see how it goes today… Tuesdays are my day to rest and I won’t be running… I will have to keep my calories down today… I am looking forward to watching “Extreme Weight Loss” tonight! It’s always a great motivator!

Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 7 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!

The Thin Lady Inside

Didn’t weigh in for two days

Well… We had a “kind of unexpected” visit …. one of my aunts (mom’s sister) came to our city for the weekend, she actually came to see a friend of hers but stayed with us yesterday and left today, I always weigh in on the Wii Balance Board and it’s in the living room, I do it before I eat anything and I don’t like having “an audience” for my weigh-in LOL! So… I just skipped it these two mornings, I hope I’ll have some improvement or something to show for my work and consistency this week… There were two days when I just couldn’t go to my Bootcamp and/or morning run but even those two days I made sure my day didn’t end without any workout… I went both times to the gym (from the apartments where I live) even when it was late and I was tired… I still pushed myself and got things done! Even when the treadmills were busy in the gym and I hate the elliptical I got up there and did it! No excuses! I am telling you… I don’t allow myself to use any excuse… even yesterday morning… (when I had to go to Bootcamp) every cell in my body was begging me to stay in bed… it was just 4:30 a.m. “come on! I am sleeping! I had a rough night with my 2 yr. old! I deserve to stay in bed! How am I going to get myself up right now?” Just the thought of getting out in the dark to get my butt kicked and my heart rate elevated from a resting number of 65 to a crazy number of 180 bpm was just a horrible thought! Plus I had a horrible headache! But still… I got up… and went to bootcamp… I am telling you it wasn’t easy… My head was throbbing in pain… and I actually felt I was going to throw up… My friend that exercises with me every morning even said: “I was about to txt you and tell you I wouldn’t make it today” but she’s very disciplined too and got up as well! I am proud of ourselves, by the time we were done with bootcamp we still had 1/2 hour left before we had to go back home so we walked together… it was a nice talk and at the end I had burned over 700 calories… last week we even reached 900 calories! We do burpies and a bunch of other unspeakable things LOL! but I am proud to see myself being able to do all that jumping around… 2 years ago I would’ve probably passed out just in the attempt and now I can keep up with everyone! The feeling of accomplishment I get when I am done makes the whole “waking up so early and getting out of the comfort of my bed in the dark” totally worth it!

So… no weigh-in numbers today… I’ll be here tomorrow to let you know how I am doing!

The Thin Lady Inside

Not in the morning…

Hello! Well… yesterday I didn’t get to run in the morning, because hubby had to leave much earlier, he has Bible Study on Tuesday mornings, at 6 a.m. so he leaves around 5:40, so yesterday I had a friend over for coffee in the morning and I made a cake, I made a “Honey Bee Cake” and then just to go with it I made a brown sugar whipped cream. I had a bite from a thin slice that I gave to my littlest one… then after my friend was gone I made lunch, did dishes, etc… you know, the “normal” (and most basic) stuff around the house, I then got on my rowing machine and did 30 minutes of rowing, but in the evening I got to go running with my friend, again, we started walking, to warm up, we walked 1.5 miles and then ran the same distance back, I felt like I was suffocating! I was panting, getting lots of air in but felt like no oxygen at all… It was hard but I did it… this morning it was harder to get up to run, it feels like “I just did that!” because I pretty much just did! I went running last night so… it was hard to get myself out of bed to do it all over again, I couldn’t run the same amount, I think we only ran 1 mile today, although we still went the whole same distance walking, this time I didn’t feel like I was asphyxiating, just my legs weren’t responding as I wanted.

So… let’s see how I did yesterday with numbers:

12645 steps taken

5.89 miles traveled

2724 calories burned

1,467 total calorie intake

Calorie Deficit = 1257 calories… and they all go towards my weight loss efforts! Again… I hope I see some results on the scale too! But I am not going to obsess on that when I am already seeing results in my strength and just how I feel… but scale and measuring tape would help too! Yesterday I got on the scale and it showed +1.1 pounds! Yes … I gained weight! again! I am at 179 pounds and I am hoping it’s just a fluctuation, from that big dinner I had on Sunday but something that will soon go away because otherwise it doesn’t make any sense.

The Thin Lady Inside

So much for “still excited”

-sigh-

-sigh again-

Today was “weigh in day” and I weighed 179 lbs… again??? REally? I mean… I did eat that pizza on Saturday… but gain about 3 pounds from last week? it’s just insane! I hate it! I am doing stuff! I am tired of not being able to get out of this thing!

I thought I would handle “the news” well but I ate and ate… today… again… out of spite! And who am I hurting? well… myself… I know it… I don’t plan on staying like this… I am actually going to run tomorrow morning with my friend… but really? REALLY? -sigh- I hate not being able to lose more! It seems impossible…

The Desperate Lady

Pizza and stuff!

Hello everybody! Well… Saturday wasn’t a great day… I had pizza, pizza and more pizza! LOL! … I was going to abstain myself from it but I just saw it and UGH! ate lots of it… I also had ice cream and some chips, lots of them… ehem… so… that was Saturday… But… on Saturday I also got my fitbit zip … I didn’t get the FitBit One which is better and like the “upgrade” just because it is considerably more expensive and the main difference between the two is that it tracks my sleep… I don’t need any device to tell me that I wake up too many times to check on my daughters and to go to the bathroom! LOL! I know that by myself! So … unfortunately my fitbit isn’t working that great, the display is barely ever working… it just turns off and it won’t turn back on even tapping it… First I thought it could be some “energy saving” thing but I am getting very frustrated so I will change it… It is cool to see how many calories I burn during the day! And it is interesting to see that it suggests me to eat more than I do… When I’ve seen the amount of calories other “Fitbit” users are “allowed to eat” I am always shocked! The numbers seem so high… I don’t know what to make of that… I really feel I can ever leave the 1200-1400 range because I always seem to only be able to lose weight (very little by the way) in that range… so… we’ll see 🙂

Sunday was a great day and I did good (not great, just good) with my calories and closed my day at 1500 total calorie intake, did walk a little over my required 10,000 steps for the day … today I am working towards ending the day in a lower number for the calorie intake and trust me, it will be hard because I had more than enough calories for lunch!

That’s it for now! Still working, still excited and motivated! 🙂

The Thin Lady Inside