Ah… the temptation

Hello everybody… so … I’ve been doing good… BUT… it’s been hard… for the last couple days I’ve opened invitations for all my fb contacts (in the area) to come and eat cupcakes or just even stop by and pick a cupcake up for free obviously… I love having people over… I love adding some “sweetness” to someone else’s day … so I figure my baking is the way to do it 🙂 I love it because my girls get to have a great time and they enjoy playing with the children of the moms who stop by for their cupcakes… and the moms stay and sit for a while and just enjoy some “girl talk” while their little ones play with my girls… They always tell me they leave my house “refreshed” and that makes me feel so happy! I want my girls to be always hospitable … rather than focusing on being good entertainers… and I don’t want them to wait to have “the perfect home” or “the perfect dishes” … the “matching napkins” … all that is cute… and I do want it as well… LOL! But I think, here, in the USA… whatever it is you have is ALREADY PERFECT.. If you have air conditioner during summer or heat during winter in your house … it is already PERFECT! trust this Mexican!

Anyway… So… I made lots of cupcakes to share… and people loved them (I was tagged in some sweet pictures of cupcakes or empty cupcake liners on facebook with lots of “thanks”) … BUT… and here’s the but… hearing over and over how good my cupcakes were, giving a cupcake to every child, woman and even a guy who stopped by to get one… started to turn into a temptation… I could’ve just bended my arm a little more, direct my hand to my mouth and… bite! and enjoy what everybody else was enjoying! LOL! … But then I managed and realized I didn’t really “want or need” the cupcake… it would’ve been more like “social eating” rather than a real need or want… so … I did good with that…

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This is the picture I used to invite everyone over… I had just made them!

But then, last night… I was tired and had to pick hubby up from work (his car just died) and I had no chance to make dinner… I was hungry and exhausted… so I told hubby “how about eating chinese?” he was so hungry he agreed and said “oooh! Yes” so I started thinking of all this deliciousness! I thought “yeah… it’s not that bad… and then I’ll just burn it off the next days” but… once we got home (hubby would go get the food) I just started cooking dinner… I made myself a very healthy hamburger with sandwich thins, lean meat, avocado, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and pickles and I made hubby “breakfast” which he always loves for dinner (eggs, bacon, english muffin with jelly) and that’s what we had… I was happy and proud of myself… hubby was confused… but I explained I was acting on impulse and motivated by my being too tired and hungry… but I knew better than that… he was proud of me… I was proud as well! I am so happy I can now write this instead of sharing with you what could’ve been a whole different story… full of excuses and loaded with guilt!

Today… is a good day!

The Thin Lady Inside

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An unexpected reminder and push!

Hello everybody! Yesterday was a so so day… I fought all day long against temptation but when you are getting out of a deep hole is kind of hard to not slide back here and there… that’s the main problem when you allow yourself to have “bad days” … it turns out that it’s harder to go back to your healthy habits… hard but not impossible… anyway… in the evening we had the Choir Kick-Off at church (Choir was off for a month this summer, just to “rest”) and yesterday was our “kick-off party” this is the time when we receive new people into the choir and of course it’s a great opportunity to celebrate… and it seems we can’t celebrate anything without eating… the theme of the party was “Duck Dynasty” … I know, weird! It’s a church… I truly felt like we are in the “End of times” to be celebrating IN a church “Duck Dynasty Style” but… it was better than I thought… I have never liked that show but it seems that here in the South is particularly popular, a friend of mine told me that for many people here is almost like a Family Reunion… lol! I guess that’s why I can’t relate… I know nothing (or want to know) about hunting, etc (but our Worship Pastor knows about that and he came totally in style, Duck Dynasty Style with a whole mop as a beard!!!) …  as I was looking online about the characters they are surprisingly pleasant (not so much in the show but in interviews) … Anyway… so there was a lot of food… bbq’d chicken, meatballs, chips, dips, lots of melted cheese and … camo cupcakes with neon orange frosting… yes… I made those! Let me show you:

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Well, you get the idea, lots of food! And I was doing “ok” but ended up not being so ok… I started eating the “simmered frog legs” (they had those name tags by the food, of course it was chicken LOL) and all the chips and stuff… When all of a sudden… the worship ministry assistant came by me and put in my hands something… something I had ordered a while ago and didn’t remember about it… a “Choir Polo Shirt” … size… Medium! I am large and sometimes extra large when it comes to shirts! and the food just got stuck in my throat when I saw it! I remember when I ordered it I thought I’d be “at least” medium by now… but that’s not the case… and that’s never going to be the case if I keep having “bad days” and “slide backs” I just gave her a half smile while wiping the barbeque sauce from my mouth with a napkin …

Now… that was a great reminder… and a great motivation as well… It felt like a bucket of icy water that was thrown at me without me expecting it but I think it was the extra push I was needing… Today I got on the scale just to see where I am at and move on (I had to do this because sometimes in my head I am back at 222.8 and even more when I feel guilty for overeating) so I had to “see the truth” (182.0),  realize it’s not impossible (it never is… no matter what the number is) and keep on going… I feel extra determined today… It will have to be a good day!

By the way… just a quick update on my sister… she is doing great… it’s been exactly two weeks since she started… today she had her weigh in and she lost 2.6 pounds. I am very proud of her.

The Thin Lady Inside

At least I didn’t eat this…

Hello everybody! So today was hubby and I’s 6th wedding anniversary! Our original idea was to go on a “running date” we thought we could go to a nice place and run but then the day started with rain and we thought that was ruined so we thought maybe we’d go out for dinner after all… later on the day, right before our “babysitter” arrived we realized the day had actually gotten pretty beautiful so maybe we could go out and run after all, but since we had already changed our plans we didn’t even know where we’d go, we wanted to go “somewhere new” that neither of us has been to, so we went to a park that someone told us it was nice, well, we drove there and it wasn’t nice at all… so we ended up wasting a whole hour (of the two hours we originally had) driving around, then hubby realized (probably my tears were a good enough hint) that he hadn’t even given me flowers today! so he ended up trying to “reset” our day and “restart it all over again” we came back home, asked our babysitter if she’d stay an extra hour and she said it would be fine, I changed and while I was changing hubby went and got flowers, then we went for a brief walk …and here I am, all happy!

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Then we had dinner in a nice place and oh my goodness! I ATE! I ate a huge, huge burger, oh! wait! I had cheese stuffed shrimp, wrapped in bacon, as an appetizer, then the 1/2 pound burger came, it was huge and delicious!

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and I ate the whole thing! Hubby mentioned he wouldn’t be able to eat it all by himself… well, that’s not my case! The skill, capability and expertise is all in here! I ate it like it was nothing! -snort- hey! I have training for that! and I really enjoyed our time together, I still don’t think my calories for the day were crazy high, I mean, it was a good 2,250 calories for the whole day but it’s not terrible… although I was pretty sedentary today, I didn’t reach my 10,000 steps daily goal but I sure had a good time, right now I am heading to bed to rest and be able to get up early tomorrow to burn all the calories I ate tonight!

But hey… at least I didn’t eat any of the delicious “Eastery” cupcakes I made yesterday:

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Ok… that’s it… Happy Anniversary to us! I am so blessed to be married to my prince, who even when he forgot to get me flowers today, he came through, but not only that, the things that really matter, the day to day stuff, those are the ones that I am thankful for! He’s awesome and a true blessing in my life!

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The Thin Lady Inside

I’m back

Ok… I am shaking off the rut the feeling of weakness and tiredness, I’ve finally gotten good hours of sleep and I am more rested…. I have had binging episodes all these days, I’ve felt in such a rut… but that’s it… Today is the day! No waiting ’till Monday … Today is the day for sure! My pants again are getting tighter, I immediately start seeing it on my face…. and I can’t allow all my efforts to be thrown away! So here I am … determined to continue my fight… My goal for this month is to lose at least 5 pounds… let’s make clear goals and achieve them… so by my birthday March 15th I should be at 176 pounds… Let’s work towards it!!!!

Yesterday was going to be my “day off” from baking… after all the baking I did to sell cookies… but then I realized “it’s Valentine’s Day” so it wouldn’t be fair to have baked for everyone else but hubby… right? so I baked 24 red velvet cupcakes with mascarpone cream cheese frosting…. I baked enough for him to enjoy and for him to share at his work… I am sure everyone will like them 🙂

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You can only see 22 here because I let my girls have 1 each (without the frosting) … hubby loved them! I tasted some of the un-frosted cupcake but didn’t have any of the frosted ones… I ate a lot yesterday though… it was supposed to be a “good day” because I was making the right choices but then I turned it all around by eating lots of rice, chicken strips and meatloaf… -sigh- I felt horrible… just heavy and bloated…. Good reminder of why I don’t want to do that anymore! the “thrill” you get from binging (which last too short until guilt kicks in) doesn’t compare to the wonderful (and more permanent) feeling of being stronger, in control and healthy! So I am definitely back at it all! Blogging sure has become and indispensable tool in my journey!

The Thin Lady Inside