Exactly that!

Saw this on fb today… I thought it was painfully funny and true 🙂 ….

you are not a dog

Happy Monday everyone!

The Thin Lady Inside

 

 

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There’s no should’ve, could’ve, would’ve …

Yes… there’s no should’ve, could’ve, would’ve! At least they don’t make any difference after the fact….

Yesterday I took my girls to the Mall and we ate chick-fil-a in the food court… that was good… I had my grilled chicken sandwich with no cheese, no soda, just water and it was enough… but I had one of those “attacks” that make me do irrational things like ordering a whole plate of something greasy I wasn’t even really wanting in the first place… it was “chinese food” supposedly… it was a bunch of noodles and some meat I am not sure if it was chicken or pork… not even that good but I ate it! I had the excuse that the girls were still hungry and I had some side vegetables for them… they also had some of the noodles but I ate most of it… I felt horrible afterwards… I thought I was even going to throw up right after eating from the horrible feeling… and yes… there were lots of “should haves, could haves and would haves” but they don’t make any difference… they don’t matter! I knew I shoud’ve just left after the grilled sandwich… I knew I could’ve! and I wish I would’ve! but that doesn’t change anything so it’s not even worth thinking about the possibilities… why do we, addicts or compulsive eaters… have such a destructive behavior? How can I be so strong and have such self control when it seems impossible and when it’s the “easiest of the situations” where I could make the right choice I just go ahead and act like the weakest of all! -sigh- … I guess there’s no point even to asking why… well… maybe there is… it’s good to learn from all these reactions, behaviors, habits, excuses, etc… to hopefully be able to fight them with the right way of thinking… be prepared on how to act next time…

The Thin Lady Inside

It’s so emotional!

Hi everyone! I’m here… working at this! Yesterday I even incorporated some strength training! I am very happy I did… I started with my exercise early to just get it out of the way…I still do it when it’s late… but why wait? 🙂 Right?

Yesterday I ate: 1471 calories and exercised for about 2 hours on the Wii Balance Board. Not bad!

Anyway…This morning I was eating… something normal, something good and healthy, my usual breakfast… and I was watching TV at the same time… all of a sudden there was some commercial about (and against) bullying… it shows some kids pushing around a kid in a school bus… and some other kids just watching and not doing anything about it … That was some real footage of an actual event… and they speak about teaching our children to not only not bully others but to also do something about it and not just be bystanders…
Well… when the commercial was over… I realized that I had just pushed the whole sandwich down my throat… I didn’t even notice when I ate it all… I actually had this sensation of “I should’ve chewed that” still because it was hard to swallow! …

I’ve always known that my emotions are key when it comes to my eating habits… and that’s what got me to being a compulsive eater in the first place! But this was just sooo clear! I was just so upset about what those kids were doing to that boy, I could feel what he was feeling! And I wished I had been there to defend or protect him… I was always very protective, with my siblings and with my friends as well…. I guess with everyone, even strangers! I can’t see injustice like that! Although I would’ve let others bully me because it’s easy for me to defend others but for some reason I get weak when it’s about defending myself… So… I guess for me… well… I’ll have to definitely stay away from TV when eating… I think maintaining a peaceful environment around us (compulsive eaters) is definitely INDISPENSABLE if we want to succeed!

The Thin Lady Inside.