Since I am not pregnant….

Hello friends… I am back… it’s been a couple of whinny days here for me… I truly believe my hormones might be playing with me…. No AF yet (AF stands for “Always Faithful” and … well… a woman should understand the term) …. so… No AF yet and still struggling with hot flashed and mood swings… I consider myself to be a mostly happy person and very balanced… but lately I find myself irritable and over-reactive… I think of myself as a very rational person and… so much so… that I know I AM BEING IRRATIONAL too often lately. I hate it. So… I hope that starts to “fix itself” as I find motivation to continue working with my weight and exercising.

As of now… I am starting something NEW … A friend of mine told me of this “new” thing that’s going on… The name is “Trim Healthy Mama” … has any of you heard about it? Well… it’s a different kind of eating system… it’s not really “new” because obviously there’s “nothing new under the sun” … it’s about the way we combine foods (I’ve been reading and I think they always refer to food as “fuel”) so they tell you of the types of fuel you should eat and how you should change them and not combine them, etc….

It seems to not exclude entire groups of foods (which I like) and it’s not based on calorie counting (which scares me… because I’ve mastered that one! I have so much “calorie information” in my brain that I feel like it’s all been a waste!) but I am willing and open to try something else before I even consider medication as the doctor suggested.

So… I am excited, scared and realistic… also optimistic but mostly realistic… I ordered the Trim Healthy Mama Book and I am waiting for it… just ordered it today and will be here in about a week. I’ll let you all know what I think about it! My friend who suggested it used to count calories on myfitnesspal too and she was doing good but nothing “out of the ordinary” … then she tried the THM method and has lost a lot even over the holidays! and she says she feels satisfied and great. So… we’ll see… I know we’re all different and what works for some might not work for others but I’d rather try it all than quit! That’s not an option… EVER!

I just wanted to give an update… Thank you all for standing by me!

The Thin Lady Inside.

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Let’s run

After my gain weight of the holidays (if you remember I gained a total of 16 pounds like it was nothing!) I hadn’t been able to run… I started walking, walking, walking again…Today I started to introduce “running” for short periods of time during my walk! It felt good! It was hard because it’s been so long… and my heart rate got high real quick (my recovery time was good though) but I want to get back to running and being able to do it without feeling like I am going to pass out… I know I’ll get there!

I’ve been doing really good keeping my calories down… although I’ve been eating more bread than I should… I started to see a very slow weight loss and got out of obesity one more time and I am in the overweight range again… unfortunately last night I succumbed to temptation and ate meatloaf (thankfully made with extra lean turkey) and mac and cheese (which was just unholy! it was loaded with whole cheddar cheese and lots of butter) I shouldn’t have done that and I’m paying for it… I had “hot flashes” again all night long … it’s definitely high calorie food that makes me go through that, I had my doubts but I confirmed it… and it’s SOOO not enjoyable that it is for sure going to help me stay away from foods like that!

Well… anyway…. I’m proud of my progress and happy I’m regaining motivation and excitement about all this!

The Thin Lady Inside

And then some more…

Hello friends! I read all of your comments to my previous post… thank you for supporting me on my highs and lows! You all rock!

So…. talking about highs (*rolling eyes*) turns out that when I weighed myself on Friday and was all bummed out (and wrote the previous post) I was tempted to eat a big thing of pasta with meat sauce I made… I decided I didn’t care anymore and then, when I served all that food on a plate… I realized it was stupid, crazy and senseless! So… if I gain one pound I am going to eat myself into oblivion just to make me gain more, feel horrible and get even further from my goal? NO!  I put the food away and ate none of it… felt awesome! Proud and happy for my decision! I went to bed pretty hungry I must say! LOL and then in the morning ran to the scale to weigh myself like if my “good action” could “magically” give me the results I expected and “miraculously” I would get the “reward” from it… So… imagine my “surprise” when I see the scale go up even HIGHER! I gained another 1.1 pounds… I blinked repeatedly like if I could make it all go away… like if somehow I could change things by blinking! When I stopped I actually laughed and carried on… didn’t let it bum me too much and it really helped that I went to church to focus on greater (and less carnal) things… At least this body is not eternal! 🙂 My spirit is… and lately I have been too concerned with what I eat or not eat… so much that I have been neglecting my spiritual feeding! I know that part of my obesity might be due to the stress I went through with my dad accompanied by the great amounts of food I ate while going through it… (horrible combination) and I know that I still have to watch what I eat, etc… but I need to quit letting it consume me because this “mindset” and emotional state will not help my weight loss efforts.

So… after church I went out for lunch and did great… I felt actually like some “weight” was lifted off of me… I came home, took a long nap and enjoyed the evening with my family afterwards… Today I weighed almost a pound less… and I laughed again… who cares? I keep doing this… I keep forgetting this is my lifestyle and there’s nothing that can bum me out enough to quit it!

Today I’ve been doing great and got out of my pj’s early! I was actually PUTTING ON my pj’s everyday after I showered! it was like my “outfit of choice” … I am making myself get into my jeans and look a bit better…

So… here I am … Thank you all for commenting!

The Thin Lady Inside

I’m just stopping by but not staying

Hello everybody! I know “my cold weather” seems like something to laugh about when you live in places that get below zero temperatures…. I remember being in Wisconsin and laughing when people said it was cold at 40 degrees… this morning we were at 24 degrees… but … I am telling you… it’s cold for Texas! Again, my friend and I went for our morning walk and we were, again, the only ones out! She said “we are crazy” and she’s right… I like this craziness though!

On a sad, sad note… today I stepped on the scale and went from being overweight to obese! I gained +0.7 pounds and that took me “there” … I had already made “eye contact” with obesity recently (the Wii Fit makes it very clear that you understand “YOU ARE OBESE” when you weigh yourself) but I actually thought “eye contact” would be it… it turns out I stopped by and I am now totally in “obesity territory” … I hope it knows I am “here” just for a brief visit!

Today I was hoping the numbers had actually gone down a bit more… that was not the case… quite the opposite… but at least I am already doing stuff about it… it is still a bummer! I hadn’t been in the “obese range” for about a year and a half! -sigh-

My calorie intake for today is a total of 1396 calories… I exercised and stayed active all day long… so I am quite proud!

The Thin Lady Inside

Ice Cream Makes me hot

Hello everybody… well, here I am…. taking steps on my road to recovery… I feel like an addict that fell again and I am starting to count my days of renewed sobriety! It is hard though… I hate how quick the body gets used to “eating more/eating junk” Yesterday I still ate more calories than I had planned … I was just incredibly hungry all day… but at least I never gave in to the temptation of just “eat it all” but actually held myself together and would just try to kill the cravings with something healthy… I love the combination of fruit, strawberry yogurt, craisins and nuts… so I had that as “dessert” at the end of the day…

Today I weighed myself and it turns out that I weigh even more… so… let’s talk numbers even when I have refused to… I have to face it … I am now 186.5 pounds …. it feels horrible to see/say that number when I had already reached 172.3 pounds … but I am not going to “dwell in the past” or in the “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve-s” and I’ll just continue to move on towards my goal. My goal for this month is to lose 10 pounds… we’ll see how that goes.

Something that is making it easier for me to go back to the good “path” is the fact that I am having trouble sleeping at night… the extra weight and having been eating so many high calorie foods makes me very uncomfortable and … hot! It’s like I am experiencing hot flashes! It is horrible… I find myself covering with a thin blanket in the night and keeping the fan (actually 2 fans) on at night because I get incredibly hot… and then I uncover myself completely because I am hot like a furnace… Then I fall asleep and get cold again so I cover myself and it turns out that just from the movement of covering myself I feel like this rush of flames from hell invade me from head to toes and I am burning again… This has been going on for about the last month… and I know it’s the weight increase and all the calories I’ve been eating that I don’t need! My last super high calorie food was 2 nights ago, when hubby, the girls and I went out for ice cream… we went to “Cold Stone” and I had a big thing of Dark Chocolate/Cheesecake Ice cream with toasted almonds! That night was near to impossible for me to sleep! So… my sleep deprivation and constant being “hot” while my family complains that the apartment is too cold and hubby would love to move out to another room because he can’t stand my fans at night… all that combined is definitely motivating me to go back to eating better/less and exercise again.

Today… will be another good day… an even better day than yesterday as I continue to bring my calorie intake down to the 1250-1400 range.

Before I stop writing though I would like to show off the cake I made for my littlest one… she turned 3 on December 29th and I made an “all strawberry” cake for her… no flavorings, no jell-o… all the strawberry flavor both in the cake and frosting came from real strawberries 🙂 it’s my first strawberry cake and she loved it! (unfortunately I loved it too and I ate all the leftover cream cheese/strawberry frosting by the spoonful)

IMG_9495 IMG_9471 IMG_9472 IMG_9496

The Thin Lady Inside

Back at it

Hello everybody… today… today is the day! My running/walking friend is still on vacation, she’ll be back on Monday… I thought I would wait until she’s back to “get back at it” but 4 days can make a big difference… knowing my metabolism I am sure I can gain 4-5 more pounds or lose 2 …. so… why not lose 2? right? I know I can lose at least 2 just because it’s such “recent weight” … weight from these days of overeating that can come off quickly if I don’t let it sit “longer” … so even when I didn’t go for my morning run I exercised with the Wii Fit and I have already bagged 45 minutes of being “very active” according to my New Fitbit Flex 🙂 … I am already counting calories and looking forward to remain strong from now until I reach my “short term goal” … my immediate goal is to lose the 10 pounds I’ve recently gained… my next “short term goal” is to hopefully get past 170s and into 160s and my goal for this year is to reach 150 pounds. So… I have a very clear set of goals and today is the day when I start taking small steps towards it.

The Thin Lady Inside

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Hello everybody… I am back… we were on vacation, we went to South Padre Island and stayed there 4 days / 3 nights and spent Christmas with my family… I’ve been eating like there’s no tomorrow… just enjoying that hubby is on vacation, celebrating that my dad is fine, relaxing by the beach, soaking in the love of my brother, sister, mom and dad, baking and thanking God for giving my littlest one another year of life… and I’ve gained a total of 10 pounds (these pounds I’ve gained in the last couple of months) … I finally faced the scale and I am not feeling “too bad about it” … January 1st. will be my day to start a whole clean page, write a new chapter and re-start with renewed hopes and expectations…

I am so blessed… to be able to celebrate these days when they could’ve been filled with tears and pain if my dad hadn’t made it… he was so close to dying and our days together were just filled with joy and gratefulness… nothing could ruin that… Here is a picture of all of us together

IMG_9348Praise GOD!

So… for 2014 I have just a few resolutions… I want to…

– Reach 150 pounds

– Spend more time reading my Bible/Praying

– Spend less time online

– Focus on my girls homeschooling

And that’s it… seems like little but it’s a lot… I want to focus on the things that matter and savor each day… not through food… but through it all… 🙂

Oh! I almost forgot… for Christmas I got my Fitbit Flex Tracker… it tracks my steps, sleep and calories… it’s pretty cool! 🙂 Hubby rocks!

Love you all and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and that 2014 will be a great, happy, healthy year filled of success!

Blessings!

The Thin Lady Inside