I never give up…

Hello peeps, if there’s anybody still around… or if anybody stops by and realizes that there was a long, long time since I last posted and that my last few posts were all about my struggle to find out the reasons why I didn’t seem to be able to lose weight… Just in case anybody wondered what happened to the lady who was looking for the thin-lady-inside of her… I am still here… I just want you to know that no matter what… no matter the struggles… I just DON’T GIVE UP! That’s right! … And while my weight kept slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) but surely creeping up… I never quit my battle against obesity… and while I did reach the 200’s again I didn’t gain all my weight back….

My last resort has been to invest in an expensive gym membership (which included 5 sessions with a fitness trainer and some blood work)

The blood work said what I already knew… Everything looks amazing in paper! They can tell I eat healthy and I exercise because the glucose is spot on, ideal numbers for triglycerides, HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, blood pressure EVERYTHING! … They did a cardio test and they also were able to prove that I wasn’t lying when I said I exercise every day! They got me on the elliptical and it did nothing! High resistance and incline and I was feeling like I was sitting on a couch! My hear rate was so stable and not spiking… I could talk through the whole test… it was… GREAT! The trainer said: Wow, you really are strong… and I even told him when everything was done: “Sorry, I just have to ask… am I the healthiest fat person you’ve ever helped?” I could tell he was afraid to answer … Poor guy! but he finally said: “I am going to have to say yes to that!” LOL… So he started explaining to me that my body had just simply adapted to EVERYTHING I DO… Yes… everything! Including the 10 mile walks, the eating healthy, everything! And when the discouragement came and I did eat out of my normal, healthy stuff… of course I saw even an increase… and that was doing it! So what am I doing now?

  1. Weight Lifting… I had never tried that and the trainer highly recommended it (plus I’ve always had the goal of looking somewhat like a bodybuilder… I know… it might seem crazy… but I really reach for that!)
  2. Switching things around more both with the food and the exercise… in regards to food I am sticking to strictly healthy stuff, avoiding grains but not excluding them, continuing to live a “sugar free lifestyle”, and sticking to what I already used to do of no artificial junk and stuff like that… BUT now I am just making sure that I am not always “eating the same” everyday… adding more fish to my diet and like my trainer said: “When things stop working, change things up a bit”
  3. I am not focusing on the scale…. After 2 weeks of all the training and sticking to my healthy food… I felt stronger yet the scale said I had lost only 2 pounds (what!? I am still walking 10 miles, plus 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of weights! How can that be?) well… looking deeper into it… and with the right equipment… ALL THE OTHER NUMBERS told a more encouraging story… I had lost 7.5 pounds of fat during those 2 weeks… yet gained 4.5 pounds of lean mass… AMAZING! Had I not known those details I know I would’ve let the 2 pounds be very discouraging! All that work for NOTHING??? BUT …. Now I know I have to REALLY trust other things more than the number on the scale… How do I feel? Am I getting stronger? How do the clothes feel? Etc… and I can’t let the scale ruin all those other tangible victories!
  4. Resting… With this I am still struggling… I have to trust what the trainer said about letting my body rest… I get this weird anxiety if I relax… I feel like I can’t sit or not train for a day because I will get huge… like… on that day! and this takes me to the next point…
  5. Training my mind as well… I am learning a lot about neuroplasticity… which is basically how our thinking affects our brains and our bodies… it might sound like it’s not something serious but being healthy involves our minds too… I have to change the way I think about myself… and even quit the negative thoughts that tell me “I’ll never get to accomplish something” and learn to relax, enjoy and not obsess.

strong

So … there you see me in the blurry picture above… I have those bands in my legs, I walk sideways with those and it is a great strength exercise for my legs (hips and thighs I think) … I am having a lot of fun and loving seeing results in my body… Hopefully my experience encourages you! I never quit… I just don’t… Find what works for you! I hope I can give you a great update soon!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 1 of many, many, many!

Hello everybody! Here I am … so … as you know (if you’ve read my previous posts) I decided to give the Fast Metabolism Diet by Haylie Pomroy a try! The Fast Metabolism Diet, as I probably already explained before, is a plan that consists of 3 phases that you have to repeat until you complete 28 days to heal your metabolism and in consequence reach your desired weight goal… of course if your metabolism is more damaged and/or have way more weight to lose then you just “rinse and repeat” pretty much… so you do the plan again for 28 more days and again and again if necessary…. So… having 28 days to go through was cool… you know? I like to set goals for myself, etc… But I guess I have other issues to deal with (like sabotaging myself and fear of success) … day 25 proved harder than I thought… being so close to day 28 added extra stress for me and it seemed (for some reason) unbearable! it was such a weird feeling “being so close” to the end of the 28 days made me feel so anxious and made it feel too far!!! Phase 2 is the hardest of the 3 phases and for me Phase 2 is always on Wednesdays and Thursdays … so … that Thursday I decided to just skip Phase 2 and move on to Phase 3 … So I pretty much didn’t finish strong, as Phases shouldn’t be skipped at all! I still lost 4 pounds on my 28 days which is not a lot by any sense of the imagination, especially on this plan where most people seem to just LITERALLY DROP the pounds right away! But for me is a huge accomplishment since the scale has been really mean to me for a long time no matter what I did… losing 4 pounds definitely means a lot and is a first step on the right direction… So… I decided to continue with the FMD until I reach my weight goals BUT this time I decided to forget about the “28 day” thing and just know that this is going to be a loooooong journey which I will only be able to go through ONE DAY AT A TIME…. So… I ripped my calendar and it feels good to not have a “set date” (for me) … I guess it’s all about finding out what works for yourself and having a specific date, for me, was too much pressure and added feelings of failure and disappointment to reach a date where I was supposed to lose up to 20 pounds and made my accomplishment look like “nothing”…

So… on other news and with a new found sense of accomplishment… I have decided to give myself some credit… Today I celebrate that “I am HERE!” 🙂 Many would’ve given up by now… and I’ve decided to celebrate the fact that I am not where I started 2 1/2 years ago! I’ve had bumps (big ones) on this road, I’ve shed pounds and I’ve shed tears (mostly tears than pounds) but I haven’t quit! I am still lighter than when I started… and still fighting…  I haven’t lost all hope and I know there’s no going back to “not caring” 🙂 I CARE! 😀

So… yes… 🙂 Lots to feel proud of 😀

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 17

Hello everybody!  Today is day 17 of the 28 days of the Fast Metabolism Diet… as I have already mentioned, this diet is supposed to heal your metabolism in 28 days but, every metabolism is different and some have more weight to lose than others so if you haven’t lost all the weight you need to lose in these 28 days you just repeat the whole thing all over again (and as many times as necessary), after that period of time then you can choose to incorporate some ingredients that are not allowed during this process or you can choose that you enjoyed the “feeling of good health” so much that you just “leave them out” … now… if you choose to incorporate some ingredients (like I will, in the case of dairy) the recommendation is to choose the organic kind and to avoid “overdoing” it… so… I will follow those recommendations for sure!

So… my first week on this diet I lost 2 pounds… YAY! … I was all impatient so I weighed myself again before week 2 ended… and I lost 2 more pounds (YAY!!!) so… 4 pounds lost, right? Awesomeness… Then… by the end of week 2 I weighed myself again and it turns out I gained 1.3 pounds so I thought “huh” but didn’t think more of it because I know it’s not that much to even think it’s real weight, it might just be liquid or whatever, right? well… I am midway week 3 and I actually saw the measuring tape move a little bit but not to the right side so I weighed myself and I gained 1.5 more pounds… interesting… So you could say that I have only lost 1.2 pounds total -sigh-… and that’s if the scale doesn’t keep going up…

Anyway… I know I should throw the stupid scale away especially if it is going to affect me… I still trust this method so I am choosing not to care too much about it… some other people in the group have reported weight gain on week 2 as well so I guess I’m not the only one… I am still hopeful about all of this but maybe the fact that I am on P2 (Phase 2) doesn’t help (phase 2 are Wednesdays and Thursdays where the diet gets really hard! but Friday, Saturday and Sunday are amazing so I keep telling myself that it’s just TWO DAYS! JUST TWO DAYS!)

So… I just wanted to give you all an update on how I am doing… I have been doing this to the “T” so I hope it will eventually pay off!

The Thin Lady Inside

Phase 3 I LOVE YOU!

Hello everyone! So… I have followed the “Fast Metabolism Diet” (FMD for short) Program for 4 days now… which means I’ve gone through Phase 1 (2 days of high -and healthy- carbs and fruit sugars, moderate protein, low *or non existent* fat) …. Phase 2 (2days of boring, headache inducing plain, lean protein *not even egg yolks!!* and unlimited vegetables, but not any vegetables just the least satisfying ones, not even cauliflower!!, zero carbs, zero fat, zero sugars) and today… today begins Phase 3 where your efforts are rewarded (LOL) where you tell your body “what? you thought you couldn’t eat fat? that’s not true, here goes some fat! No need to store any! keep losing!” so on phase 3 you get to eat protein (some fattier protein too like salmon, skinless but delicious chicken thighs, you also eat healthy grains, some kinds of delicious fruit, seeds and nuts and vegetables, you’re very liberal with some satisfying vegetables like sweet potatoes, carrots, etc… and on top of all that… avocado! up to 3/4 of an entire avocado, coconut oil, nut butters, etc.) can you tell I am excited? Ah! Today I am happy! And just ecstatic that Phase 3 last longer than the other 2, you have 3 full days to nurture your body with healthy fats and just tell your system “it’s ok, it’s ok to let go!”. Each phase is essential for the program and 1 can’t exist without the others … keeps your metabolism confused and it’s important to do exercises that are “phase appropriate” … so I did cardio on phase 1, strength training on phase 2 and I will be doing some dry skin brushing today, focusing on un-stressing and hopefully I will get hubby to give me a good long massage.

I sure sound hopeful… I know… and it’s because I really am! I really hope “this is it” .. I know I will give it my all as usual! I will have to follow this plan of repeating cycles of phases 1,2 and 3 for 28 months and then… repeat as needed! 🙂

So… this morning (phase 3) I had -for breakfast-

– 2 whole eggs cooked in coconut oil and seasoned with sea salt and nutritional yeast.

– 3 slices of avocado

– 1 Ezekiel bread English muffin (half of it with almond butter the other half with coconut butter)

– 1 cup of blueberries

– 1 sauteed zucchini.

How do  I feel? Amazing! 🙂

The Thin Lady Inside

I am a legalistic “dieter”

Hello everybody! Here I am! Today was my first day in the “Trim Healthy Mama” (THM for short) method! I am all happy, excited, doubtful, nervous, motivated, fearful, encouraged and skeptic at the same time. THM has facebook groups and I am there probably making the moderators go crazy… 1st. I post about how excited I am … then I question the whole “concept” behind it… then I humbly admit I am afraid of failing and later I am all excited all over again. Yes…. all in ONE Day!

The thing is that this is what *I* would call a “Grace based method” … they tell you to eat certain things (like butter) “freely” … now … these ladies, the ones that wrote the book and created this system… FOR SURE DON’T KNOW *ME* … You can NOT tell me to eat “anything” freely because…. MY freely looks very different from most people’s freely.

The idea behind the method is to leave your “calorie counting” behind and to embrace the fact that your body will know what to do with the calories you eat if you make good choices and do not mix “fuel types” (fuel types talking about fat vs. carb) so… While for some meals I get to eat very fatty everything and very low carbs … for others the carbs are increased and the fats really decreased while keeping “protein” always at the center.

When eating those “fatty meals” they don’t give you “calorie numbers” or “amount limits” (except for very few items) so… that “freedom” makes me very nervous…

I speak about “grace and legalism” because that’s what I can compare it to… You know? For example… We are saved by GRACE and not through good works… Jesus died for us on the cross, resurrected and paid the price… there’s nothing I need to add to that… it was finished. BUT … out of love (and not because of the “law”) we live a “grace based” life… living for him… with the freedom to choose and do the right thing… just because it comes natural, there are struggles but doing good works, even when not necessary for salvation are just a response to that grace that has been given to us…

But… there are other people… that might feel the need to abide “by the law” even when knowing that ONLY GRACE saves… the law keeps them accountable… especially for those things where they might be weaker… just to give an example… some see “drinking alcohol” as a freedom and as something we can do “in moderation” … some others completely abstain from it… and feel it’s a form of sin… the one under “grace” might feel it’s “stupid” to have those “legalistic boundaries” but for the one who might struggle with alcohol those “boundaries” are actually “liberating”

I don’t even know if I am making any sense… with what i am trying to say… The way I see it is like this: “when it comes to eating I NEED THE LAW” … I need the restrictions, the amounts and numbers… and the good thing is that even when THM is not ABOUT THAT you can still “adapt it” to what works for you without “getting far from the plan”

So… what I do … is… eat the things recommended by the plan… with the formulas used by the plan (never mixing fuels, keeping carbs at bay when eating “S type meals” and keeping fats low when eating “E type meals”, etc.) but I ALSO count calories… now  I don’t try to keep them at the low numbers of 1200-1400 but “I watch them” to not exceed the “healthy numbers” and I feel … that by doing this… I keep myself accountable, in check and in a healthy balance.

I know many people hate counting calories… and they see it as a “dreadful restriction”… for me… I find freedom in those limits!!!

So… I guess now that I’ve thought of how I am going to approach this new method… I can say… I am EXCITED!

My day today looks like this so far: (Today I am doing a LOW CARB DAY – only THM “S” type meals- just because of my ‘carb addiction’ I am “shocking my body” but my future days will not look like this)

s day

(Daily Goals are determined by the amount of exercise, etc… and based on my previous settings for “low calorie days” so those are not the ones to follow for THM, the numbers that I follow are the “totals”)

I hope this will work for me.

The Thin Lady Inside

Since I am not pregnant….

Hello friends… I am back… it’s been a couple of whinny days here for me… I truly believe my hormones might be playing with me…. No AF yet (AF stands for “Always Faithful” and … well… a woman should understand the term) …. so… No AF yet and still struggling with hot flashed and mood swings… I consider myself to be a mostly happy person and very balanced… but lately I find myself irritable and over-reactive… I think of myself as a very rational person and… so much so… that I know I AM BEING IRRATIONAL too often lately. I hate it. So… I hope that starts to “fix itself” as I find motivation to continue working with my weight and exercising.

As of now… I am starting something NEW … A friend of mine told me of this “new” thing that’s going on… The name is “Trim Healthy Mama” … has any of you heard about it? Well… it’s a different kind of eating system… it’s not really “new” because obviously there’s “nothing new under the sun” … it’s about the way we combine foods (I’ve been reading and I think they always refer to food as “fuel”) so they tell you of the types of fuel you should eat and how you should change them and not combine them, etc….

It seems to not exclude entire groups of foods (which I like) and it’s not based on calorie counting (which scares me… because I’ve mastered that one! I have so much “calorie information” in my brain that I feel like it’s all been a waste!) but I am willing and open to try something else before I even consider medication as the doctor suggested.

So… I am excited, scared and realistic… also optimistic but mostly realistic… I ordered the Trim Healthy Mama Book and I am waiting for it… just ordered it today and will be here in about a week. I’ll let you all know what I think about it! My friend who suggested it used to count calories on myfitnesspal too and she was doing good but nothing “out of the ordinary” … then she tried the THM method and has lost a lot even over the holidays! and she says she feels satisfied and great. So… we’ll see… I know we’re all different and what works for some might not work for others but I’d rather try it all than quit! That’s not an option… EVER!

I just wanted to give an update… Thank you all for standing by me!

The Thin Lady Inside.

And then some more…

Hello friends! I read all of your comments to my previous post… thank you for supporting me on my highs and lows! You all rock!

So…. talking about highs (*rolling eyes*) turns out that when I weighed myself on Friday and was all bummed out (and wrote the previous post) I was tempted to eat a big thing of pasta with meat sauce I made… I decided I didn’t care anymore and then, when I served all that food on a plate… I realized it was stupid, crazy and senseless! So… if I gain one pound I am going to eat myself into oblivion just to make me gain more, feel horrible and get even further from my goal? NO!  I put the food away and ate none of it… felt awesome! Proud and happy for my decision! I went to bed pretty hungry I must say! LOL and then in the morning ran to the scale to weigh myself like if my “good action” could “magically” give me the results I expected and “miraculously” I would get the “reward” from it… So… imagine my “surprise” when I see the scale go up even HIGHER! I gained another 1.1 pounds… I blinked repeatedly like if I could make it all go away… like if somehow I could change things by blinking! When I stopped I actually laughed and carried on… didn’t let it bum me too much and it really helped that I went to church to focus on greater (and less carnal) things… At least this body is not eternal! 🙂 My spirit is… and lately I have been too concerned with what I eat or not eat… so much that I have been neglecting my spiritual feeding! I know that part of my obesity might be due to the stress I went through with my dad accompanied by the great amounts of food I ate while going through it… (horrible combination) and I know that I still have to watch what I eat, etc… but I need to quit letting it consume me because this “mindset” and emotional state will not help my weight loss efforts.

So… after church I went out for lunch and did great… I felt actually like some “weight” was lifted off of me… I came home, took a long nap and enjoyed the evening with my family afterwards… Today I weighed almost a pound less… and I laughed again… who cares? I keep doing this… I keep forgetting this is my lifestyle and there’s nothing that can bum me out enough to quit it!

Today I’ve been doing great and got out of my pj’s early! I was actually PUTTING ON my pj’s everyday after I showered! it was like my “outfit of choice” … I am making myself get into my jeans and look a bit better…

So… here I am … Thank you all for commenting!

The Thin Lady Inside