I am a legalistic “dieter”

Hello everybody! Here I am! Today was my first day in the “Trim Healthy Mama” (THM for short) method! I am all happy, excited, doubtful, nervous, motivated, fearful, encouraged and skeptic at the same time. THM has facebook groups and I am there probably making the moderators go crazy… 1st. I post about how excited I am … then I question the whole “concept” behind it… then I humbly admit I am afraid of failing and later I am all excited all over again. Yes…. all in ONE Day!

The thing is that this is what *I* would call a “Grace based method” … they tell you to eat certain things (like butter) “freely” … now … these ladies, the ones that wrote the book and created this system… FOR SURE DON’T KNOW *ME* … You can NOT tell me to eat “anything” freely because…. MY freely looks very different from most people’s freely.

The idea behind the method is to leave your “calorie counting” behind and to embrace the fact that your body will know what to do with the calories you eat if you make good choices and do not mix “fuel types” (fuel types talking about fat vs. carb) so… While for some meals I get to eat very fatty everything and very low carbs … for others the carbs are increased and the fats really decreased while keeping “protein” always at the center.

When eating those “fatty meals” they don’t give you “calorie numbers” or “amount limits” (except for very few items) so… that “freedom” makes me very nervous…

I speak about “grace and legalism” because that’s what I can compare it to… You know? For example… We are saved by GRACE and not through good works… Jesus died for us on the cross, resurrected and paid the price… there’s nothing I need to add to that… it was finished. BUT … out of love (and not because of the “law”) we live a “grace based” life… living for him… with the freedom to choose and do the right thing… just because it comes natural, there are struggles but doing good works, even when not necessary for salvation are just a response to that grace that has been given to us…

But… there are other people… that might feel the need to abide “by the law” even when knowing that ONLY GRACE saves… the law keeps them accountable… especially for those things where they might be weaker… just to give an example… some see “drinking alcohol” as a freedom and as something we can do “in moderation” … some others completely abstain from it… and feel it’s a form of sin… the one under “grace” might feel it’s “stupid” to have those “legalistic boundaries” but for the one who might struggle with alcohol those “boundaries” are actually “liberating”

I don’t even know if I am making any sense… with what i am trying to say… The way I see it is like this: “when it comes to eating I NEED THE LAW” … I need the restrictions, the amounts and numbers… and the good thing is that even when THM is not ABOUT THAT you can still “adapt it” to what works for you without “getting far from the plan”

So… what I do … is… eat the things recommended by the plan… with the formulas used by the plan (never mixing fuels, keeping carbs at bay when eating “S type meals” and keeping fats low when eating “E type meals”, etc.) but I ALSO count calories… now  I don’t try to keep them at the low numbers of 1200-1400 but “I watch them” to not exceed the “healthy numbers” and I feel … that by doing this… I keep myself accountable, in check and in a healthy balance.

I know many people hate counting calories… and they see it as a “dreadful restriction”… for me… I find freedom in those limits!!!

So… I guess now that I’ve thought of how I am going to approach this new method… I can say… I am EXCITED!

My day today looks like this so far: (Today I am doing a LOW CARB DAY – only THM “S” type meals- just because of my ‘carb addiction’ I am “shocking my body” but my future days will not look like this)

s day

(Daily Goals are determined by the amount of exercise, etc… and based on my previous settings for “low calorie days” so those are not the ones to follow for THM, the numbers that I follow are the “totals”)

I hope this will work for me.

The Thin Lady Inside

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Just waiting and eating

I am literally sitting here waiting for my “Trim Healthy Mama” Book… and eating as I wait… I see no point in calorie counting anymore and I am going to start a new regime when the book arrives… I am reading about it and making plans on what I’ll be buying to start strong… but in the mean time I am eating and staying away from clothes that I know I’ll struggle to get in… it’s a bad approach but that’s pretty much what’s going on and I am just putting it all out there.

The Thin Impatient Lady Inside

Since I am not pregnant….

Hello friends… I am back… it’s been a couple of whinny days here for me… I truly believe my hormones might be playing with me…. No AF yet (AF stands for “Always Faithful” and … well… a woman should understand the term) …. so… No AF yet and still struggling with hot flashed and mood swings… I consider myself to be a mostly happy person and very balanced… but lately I find myself irritable and over-reactive… I think of myself as a very rational person and… so much so… that I know I AM BEING IRRATIONAL too often lately. I hate it. So… I hope that starts to “fix itself” as I find motivation to continue working with my weight and exercising.

As of now… I am starting something NEW … A friend of mine told me of this “new” thing that’s going on… The name is “Trim Healthy Mama” … has any of you heard about it? Well… it’s a different kind of eating system… it’s not really “new” because obviously there’s “nothing new under the sun” … it’s about the way we combine foods (I’ve been reading and I think they always refer to food as “fuel”) so they tell you of the types of fuel you should eat and how you should change them and not combine them, etc….

It seems to not exclude entire groups of foods (which I like) and it’s not based on calorie counting (which scares me… because I’ve mastered that one! I have so much “calorie information” in my brain that I feel like it’s all been a waste!) but I am willing and open to try something else before I even consider medication as the doctor suggested.

So… I am excited, scared and realistic… also optimistic but mostly realistic… I ordered the Trim Healthy Mama Book and I am waiting for it… just ordered it today and will be here in about a week. I’ll let you all know what I think about it! My friend who suggested it used to count calories on myfitnesspal too and she was doing good but nothing “out of the ordinary” … then she tried the THM method and has lost a lot even over the holidays! and she says she feels satisfied and great. So… we’ll see… I know we’re all different and what works for some might not work for others but I’d rather try it all than quit! That’s not an option… EVER!

I just wanted to give an update… Thank you all for standing by me!

The Thin Lady Inside.

Could it be?

Just want to say I continue to struggle with my weight regardless of working out/counting calories… I lose a bit and then gain it back… Yesterday I went to the dr’s office because I am late with my period (it should’ve started on the 14th and nothing yet) so I want to discard the possibility of a pregnancy.

The doctor was shocked when I told her how much I walk/count calories, etc… and how I don’t lose weight… she actually weighed me yesterday and I was 190 pounds -BIG, LONG SIGH-

I have already taken pregnancy tests at home and they are negative (although I read they can come negative if you’re early in the pregnancy, drink a lot of water and pee a lot and very often) the HCG might be too diluted for the urine test to pick it up… so that’s why I am getting the blood test done. I will find more tomorrow and hopefully get an explanation for my “no period” thing… I am even getting nauseous in the morning but I wonder if it’s because I am obsessing about it.

If I am not pregnant, the doctor said I should schedule an appt. to treat “gain weight” … I am sure that requires meds… I don’t want to go that route….

I am left with so many questions… wondering if I am hormonally jacked up and/or even pre-menopausal.

We’ll see

The weird lady Inside

I washed my jeans

Ok… I should be replying comments first… but I am in a bit of a hurry… I’ll come back tomorrow and write more… but for now I just want to say

I WASHED MY JEANS AND I GOT IN! 🙂

So… I guess I am not as far as I thought I was from my goal… yes… I am heavier and yes… the jeans feel different… but I am happy I still get in them without having to lay on my bed and struggle to zip them up! I refuse to ever buy anything bigger! I am determined to ever do that… So I am happy I am moving on the right direction.

The Thin Lady Inside

Let’s run

After my gain weight of the holidays (if you remember I gained a total of 16 pounds like it was nothing!) I hadn’t been able to run… I started walking, walking, walking again…Today I started to introduce “running” for short periods of time during my walk! It felt good! It was hard because it’s been so long… and my heart rate got high real quick (my recovery time was good though) but I want to get back to running and being able to do it without feeling like I am going to pass out… I know I’ll get there!

I’ve been doing really good keeping my calories down… although I’ve been eating more bread than I should… I started to see a very slow weight loss and got out of obesity one more time and I am in the overweight range again… unfortunately last night I succumbed to temptation and ate meatloaf (thankfully made with extra lean turkey) and mac and cheese (which was just unholy! it was loaded with whole cheddar cheese and lots of butter) I shouldn’t have done that and I’m paying for it… I had “hot flashes” again all night long … it’s definitely high calorie food that makes me go through that, I had my doubts but I confirmed it… and it’s SOOO not enjoyable that it is for sure going to help me stay away from foods like that!

Well… anyway…. I’m proud of my progress and happy I’m regaining motivation and excitement about all this!

The Thin Lady Inside

And then some more…

Hello friends! I read all of your comments to my previous post… thank you for supporting me on my highs and lows! You all rock!

So…. talking about highs (*rolling eyes*) turns out that when I weighed myself on Friday and was all bummed out (and wrote the previous post) I was tempted to eat a big thing of pasta with meat sauce I made… I decided I didn’t care anymore and then, when I served all that food on a plate… I realized it was stupid, crazy and senseless! So… if I gain one pound I am going to eat myself into oblivion just to make me gain more, feel horrible and get even further from my goal? NO!  I put the food away and ate none of it… felt awesome! Proud and happy for my decision! I went to bed pretty hungry I must say! LOL and then in the morning ran to the scale to weigh myself like if my “good action” could “magically” give me the results I expected and “miraculously” I would get the “reward” from it… So… imagine my “surprise” when I see the scale go up even HIGHER! I gained another 1.1 pounds… I blinked repeatedly like if I could make it all go away… like if somehow I could change things by blinking! When I stopped I actually laughed and carried on… didn’t let it bum me too much and it really helped that I went to church to focus on greater (and less carnal) things… At least this body is not eternal! 🙂 My spirit is… and lately I have been too concerned with what I eat or not eat… so much that I have been neglecting my spiritual feeding! I know that part of my obesity might be due to the stress I went through with my dad accompanied by the great amounts of food I ate while going through it… (horrible combination) and I know that I still have to watch what I eat, etc… but I need to quit letting it consume me because this “mindset” and emotional state will not help my weight loss efforts.

So… after church I went out for lunch and did great… I felt actually like some “weight” was lifted off of me… I came home, took a long nap and enjoyed the evening with my family afterwards… Today I weighed almost a pound less… and I laughed again… who cares? I keep doing this… I keep forgetting this is my lifestyle and there’s nothing that can bum me out enough to quit it!

Today I’ve been doing great and got out of my pj’s early! I was actually PUTTING ON my pj’s everyday after I showered! it was like my “outfit of choice” … I am making myself get into my jeans and look a bit better…

So… here I am … Thank you all for commenting!

The Thin Lady Inside