-sigh- I am at a very high weight of 181 pounds… 9 pounds heavier than the lowest number I reached about 2 months ago … it’s discouraging… and eye opening… regardless of my calorie counting and exercising I have been eating out more and those calories haven’t been in the form of “all good” stuff… I have been feeling quite depressed about it… and trust me… I am not using the word “depressed” lightly… I had actually felt thinner a couple of days ago and then I had the brilliant idea of weighing myself yesterday and that’s when I saw that number and decided to eat all the left over dessert from Thanksgiving… well… not all of it… but a lot! I’ve been stuffing my big face with pumpkin pie, cranberry upside down cake and apple pie… Thank goodness hubby finished the sugar cookies or I would’ve attacked those as well… Interestingly… I am more inclined to binge on salty food but desserts is what I had at hand… so… buried myself in sugar!
I am feeling like a whale… but I know that I have to shake off those feelings to be able to move on! I never seem to succeed to lose weight when I am feeling like I hate myself… so I need to find that self esteem, self-love to gather all the will power and press on to my goals!
I torture myself thinking how long it is going to take me to lose all this again… I get sick at the thoughts of ending this year in the exact same weight a year ago…. but… those thoughts don’t really help, do they? it’s not like I will lose weight by pitying myself!
Anyway… Just wanted to give an update.
The Thin (and ashamed) Lady Inside