Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Hello everybody… I am back… we were on vacation, we went to South Padre Island and stayed there 4 days / 3 nights and spent Christmas with my family… I’ve been eating like there’s no tomorrow… just enjoying that hubby is on vacation, celebrating that my dad is fine, relaxing by the beach, soaking in the love of my brother, sister, mom and dad, baking and thanking God for giving my littlest one another year of life… and I’ve gained a total of 10 pounds (these pounds I’ve gained in the last couple of months) … I finally faced the scale and I am not feeling “too bad about it” … January 1st. will be my day to start a whole clean page, write a new chapter and re-start with renewed hopes and expectations…

I am so blessed… to be able to celebrate these days when they could’ve been filled with tears and pain if my dad hadn’t made it… he was so close to dying and our days together were just filled with joy and gratefulness… nothing could ruin that… Here is a picture of all of us together

IMG_9348Praise GOD!

So… for 2014 I have just a few resolutions… I want to…

– Reach 150 pounds

– Spend more time reading my Bible/Praying

– Spend less time online

– Focus on my girls homeschooling

And that’s it… seems like little but it’s a lot… I want to focus on the things that matter and savor each day… not through food… but through it all… 🙂

Oh! I almost forgot… for Christmas I got my Fitbit Flex Tracker… it tracks my steps, sleep and calories… it’s pretty cool! 🙂 Hubby rocks!

Love you all and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and that 2014 will be a great, happy, healthy year filled of success!

Blessings!

The Thin Lady Inside

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So much going on

Hello peeps, such a roller coaster… I want to spare you all the details… nobody wants to read too much whining … LOL! But… let’s just say it’s been a roller coaster… with my dad’s heart attack and then a week later my mom almost had a heart attack herself from all the stress … but we’re starting to come out of all that, my dad is finally home and will continue his recovery there and my sister, well, she deserves a statue or something because she’s taking care of both my dad and mom pretty much.  Then the girlies and I got sick again (I should just have that phrase saved somewhere just to do copy/paste!!!) … but we’re all fine now… I look forward to my calorie counting and exercising … I don’t do good without both those things… I need “Controls” like that… I just “can’t be trusted” on my own.

But… I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very Blessed New Year.

The Thin Lady Inside

Back from Mexico…

Hello everybody… so… I did have to end up going to Mexico… My dad’s condition was way worse than we originally thought… he actually had a massive heart attack. The doctors can’t explain yet how he made it for 2 days without medical attention, when he got to the hospital he had over 3000 units of some enzymes produced by the body when the heart fails… I am sorry if I can’t explain things right… it’s all a blur… but the doctors said something like: “when a person has over 300-400 units it is considered a heart attack, your dad has over 3000 units”… so we rushed to Mexico but I wasn’t allowed to see him… he couldn’t have any emotions… nor good or bad. At least I was a support for my mom and siblings in the scariest hours.. the first 72 hours were crucial, he was in the ICU and he made it… the doctor says he is still not out of danger and they continue to administer medication to keep him from having a thrombosis, he is now in a normal room and he started asking last night about me and if I could go see him… he doesn’t have any clue I just returned last night from being just a few steps away from him all weekend. Now my mom is afraid to tell him I was there and wasn’t allowed to see him… so he won’t know… it makes me sad he probably wonders why I am not there!?

Anyway… I just hope his recovery is complete…. and I obviously didn’t have much opportunity to count calories while there… but did have the opportunity to eat things that I love and I hadn’t eaten for 7 years! Things right there in my country… that can’t be fully replicated in the USA…

"Pollo Feliz"

“Pollo Feliz”

My favorite Grilled chicken "Pollo Feliz" with tortillas, guacamole and blanched/seasoned red onions.

My favorite Grilled chicken “Pollo Feliz” with tortillas, guacamole and blanched/seasoned red onions.

"Tamal Sinaloense"

“Tamal Sinaloense”

Regardless of my not counting calories and letting myself enjoy some Mexican food I must say I still stayed away from my very favorite street tacos and soda… and from many other succulent dishes… I must say I am happy I am not there anymore because it would be near to impossible to lose weight with all those options… Ah! Can’t resist Mexican dishes!!! and my favorite ones are not that healthy! Although I know I still lost weight when I used to live there… you can always adapt every dish to make it a healthier/lighter version… (it still isn’t the same though!)

So… thankfully my dad is getting better and thankfully I am now away from all that food… or it would be likely I’d end up in a hospital just like him.

The Thin and very Mexican Lady Inside

 

The heart attack…

There’s not much mystery here… I wish the title of this post was “figuratively speaking” or just “an expression” or just an exaggeration  but it is not… and I thought it would be good for me to post this here since it has to do with health issues and lack of a proper diet and exercise…

I got a phone call at midnight and hubby told me the number was a Mexican number… I rushed to try and dial back but just dialed a wrong number… I was more asleep than awake and I apologized to the poor guy who I woke up with my phone call… hung up and dialed again, ever so slowly, with my foggy brain due to sleepiness and worry… why did someone from my family in Mexico call? Why that late? I hope everyone is ok… and then …

Ring, ring

my sister: “Hello”

Me: “You called? what’s going on”

my sister (sounding worried): “uh, well… sorry for calling so late, um, something happened, there was a little incident with dad… um… he is in the hospital………”

Me (listening to my heart and afraid to ask more and anxious to hear more at the same time): “WHAT HAPPENED?”

My sister: “Well, he had pain on his chest and we thought we should take him to the doctor, he kept saying no but we got really worried, when we got there the doctors did an Electrocardiogram and they said he had a heart attack, but the worst was two days ago, he just hadn’t said anything”

Me: “what??? how?”

My sister: “I don’t have more details, I guess they’ll give us more information during the day, we just know that this heart attack actually started two days ago… he just didn’t say anything, but he is more stable now”

after that we just talked a little bit more … I was foggy wondering if he’d be fine, thanking God this didn’t happen while he was on his own when my sister and mom were here for a few days for Thanksgiving… I know he would’ve just slept through it … and maybe wouldn’t have woke up…

The thought terrified me… The thought of losing him… wondering if the last time I saw him, in July, was the last time I saw him… I talk with him often on the phone but… when I saw him… did I hug him enough? did I show him my love enough? I just love that man! I am a daddy’s girl! I am angry with him for not taking care of himself… He was sick about two years ago and they said his heart was enlarged… high blood pressure was a big concern as well and he only seemed concerned about his food and exercised for a few weeks after being released from the hospital, he promised he’d take care of himself… until the “scare” became another memory and “feeling good” seemed like “permission to eat anything he wants” … I remember when I lived in Mexico, my dad and I were partners in crime many times… eating tacos from the street before getting home just to eat dinner AGAIN … stopping at gas stations for a big, cold soda and chips and laughing about our “sneakiness” … it doesn’t seem that funny anymore… and I do love all our memories, we’re both very similar… witty, funny, sarcastic and at times irreverent… there’s a comedian inside him… and I know there’s one inside of me too (hey maybe that’s why I am fat… there’s a thin lady inside of me AND a comedian!) … I understand HIM… and he “gets me” as well.. we laugh a lot… and we’re both impersonators… but… overeating is an addiction, obesity is one of the side effects! This is not something to laugh about (even if I am too used to making jokes about it!!)… obesity and its consequences are serious… this is not funny! … Fat people are the “stars” from many jokes, comedies, tv shows… but it’s not a happy (or long) life… not for the obese person or for their loved ones. Overeating is an addiction and eating junk is a selfish/destructive behavior with many victims! My dad is not necessarily obese…. he is overweight… but even thin people who don’t watch what they eat are going to pay the consequences of their unhealthy lifestyle… My dad is 64 and should be healthier than this. I love him and I hope he’ll be all better soon!

Pray that my dad will be better… and that he will have another chance to take care of himself.

The Thin Lady Inside

Got fruit?

Hello everybody! Here I am again… just to share quickly about my weight and emotional state LOL! 🙂 After getting off of my soap box and once I stopped feeling sorry for myself (which unfortunately has been happening too often lately) I decided to be totally honest with myself and realize that I did some bad changes in my eating that would definitely affect my weight! I am not a victim… I hate the whole victim position so I refuse to “stay there” … Yes, it is true that I don’t lose weight like most people would if they are determined to do it… I do have thyroid issues and I gain weight faster than most people regardless of the meds… but I CAN lose weight, even if VERY slowly. I started to remind myself that I was seeing more consistent results with my weight when I incorporated more fruit in my diet and got rid of “low calorie” but “very processed” foods… So I am going back to the basics and eating way more fruit…

Right now I am enjoying 1/4 cup of organic strawberry yogurt (love Stonyfield), 1 apple, raw pecans, grapes and a few craisins every morning! It is sooo yummy!!! It is not a lot of yogurt but it is sooo satisfying and creamy! I feel like I am eating a dessert… almost like it’s too good to be ok for me to eat! LOL! 🙂 I am going back to my baked sweet potatoes as well… rather than rice and/or pasta… so… I am excited and in two days I lost 1/2 a pound…. the first day back to being really disciplined with my food I must admit I felt REALLY HUNGRY! My body was just asking for more food.. and something greasier if possible! LOL! but today it hasn’t been so hard.

Friday will be “Social Friday” for our Church Lifegroup and they’re already talking “Restaurants” … I will be looking the menu in advance to make sure I make all the right choices and still have a great time with everyone.

The Thin Lady Inside

181 but it stops here

-sigh- I am at a very high weight of 181 pounds… 9 pounds heavier than the lowest number I reached about 2 months ago … it’s discouraging… and eye opening… regardless of my calorie counting and exercising I have been eating out more and those calories haven’t been in the form of “all good” stuff… I have been feeling quite depressed about it… and trust me… I am not using the word “depressed” lightly… I had actually felt thinner a couple of days ago and then I had the brilliant idea of weighing myself yesterday and that’s when I saw that number and decided to eat all the left over dessert from Thanksgiving… well… not all of it… but a lot! I’ve been stuffing my big face with pumpkin pie, cranberry upside down cake and apple pie… Thank goodness hubby finished the sugar cookies or I would’ve attacked those as well… Interestingly… I am more inclined to binge on salty food but desserts is what I had at hand… so… buried myself in sugar!

I am feeling like a whale… but I know that I have to shake off those feelings to be able to move on! I never seem to succeed to lose weight when I am feeling like I hate myself… so I need to find that self esteem, self-love to gather all the will power and press on to my goals!

I torture myself thinking how long it is going to take me to lose all this again… I get sick at the thoughts of ending this year in the exact same weight a year ago…. but… those thoughts don’t really help, do they? it’s not like I will lose weight by pitying myself!

Anyway… Just wanted to give an update.

The Thin (and ashamed) Lady Inside