Hello everybody! (and by everybody… it’s usually Shadowrun, Dave and Jackie) … thank you for caring about me! I sooo appreciate it! And I care about you all as well! It’s just been a rough few weeks here… First my oldest girl got sick… just a bad cold… sleepless nights with her because she was so congested that she would have a hard time breathing at night, she would cry, cough, gag… and mommy… well… mommy was the best pillow she could find… as we started coming out of it… my littlest one followed… she is soo strong that she would be “ok” during the day, just cranky and moody… I thought it was all because she was fighting a cold… but she had a little bit of fever and then it would get even higher at night… more sleepless nights, fever, angry, crying, just very upset… after a few days I finally took her to the doctor, I was hoping it would be the same thing my oldest had and it would just “go away on its own” … but no… the doctor told me she had really bad ear infections! I felt so bad I didn’t take her in sooner… so, guilt combined with sleeplessness equals: mommy bawling at the doctor’s office… not pretty! then… she got better… but… of course it couldn’t stop there… then it was me! I got a very bad cold but I missed so many days running taking care of my girlies that I felt I had to do it! So I kept running until hubby said “You’re crazy! You’re not going today” LOL! I guess it didn’t make much sense for him to spoil me so much taking care of PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING and then me going out to run! LOL! 🙂 So yesterday I didn’t run… although I was finally feeling a bit better… Sunday was the worst! I didn’t do the 5k that I had planned on running -sigh- I was sooo looking forward to it!
I have gained a little bit of weight but I know it’s because of the lack of consistent exercise… I am still counting calories and I will never, ever give up… you can count on that… God is my strength, He is my comfort in the times when I might feel in despair… and my family… well… they are a great motivation for me to keep going… I never want to go back to my bigger prison… I still don’t feel like I am “where I want to be” but I can’t keep just mourning my lack of weight loss or I would get really exhausted and consider “giving up” so I am learning to enjoy where I am now… hey … I am so many pounds lighter than when I started… I wear jeans size 10… I can run!!!! I have to enjoy this… and in my enjoying “this” I find enough motivation to keep exercising and eating right… I would never want to live a sad, inactive life again (if you could call it a life) where I sit and eat and watch others DO what I would love to be doing… THAT is not an option anymore…
Thank you all for checking on me! I love you so much! You have no idea how much it means to me to come back here and know that YOU ALL are there! I will check on you all soon too.. I am about to leave for “Mom2Mom” event at church… I coordinate the “Mentor Moms” and later I will help with the food pantry and later some grocery shopping… and later… well… I’ll try to squeeze my run in there! But I promise I’ll check your blogs as soon as I get to sit!
The Thin Lady Inside