Hanging in there

After the disappointment of my weight gain… followed by binging with Nutella and then having a hard time to get back on track and going over my “ideal calorie intake” for a few days I am going back to MY normal… running even more and eating great… I think that my few days of “freedom” (although they actually felt very “entrapping”) something might have kicked in that I actually lost some weight, not much, but I wasn’t expecting that…

Right now I am baking carrot cake for hubby. Baking , for me, is like “cheap” therapy… I enjoy it SO MUCH… I’d love to be able to eat what I bake but baking is “good enough” by itself.

Thanks for hanging in there with me and being patient with this me as I fluctuate more than my weight… I hope I’ll be running a 5k in November 10th… Looking forward to it.

The Thin Lady Inside

What I am doing….

After my previous post… (where I report how much weight I’ve been gaining without any explanation except that probably I can blame it on … running!? HUH!!!/??????) I am eating Nutella by the spoonfuls ! That’s how I feel right now… like eating my feelings away… when will I learn? Tomorrow will be a new day though!

The Fat Lady Outside

One pound a day… for three days…

Hello everybody… that’s what I’ve been doing… one pound a day… each day… for three days… it would be great if I was losing that… but I am gaining it! why? I don’t know… I don’t get it… if anything I am running more consistently… could that be it? Tell me! I am wondering about that but it seems crazy! It doesn’t make sense ! But I am actually starting to believe it… my first plateau occurred when I started running… then while I only walked I lost… I assumed it was the less processed foods and thyroid medication… because … well… I made some other changes not just walk… now that I was pumped about my weight loss… I decided to start running again and I thought “this is it! Now I am really going to lose” and no… I am gaining! and I feel it! I am still in the same calorie count but I am now up to 176 pounds! AGAIN! it is so discouraging! I feel like crying! I had reached 172.6 and little by little… I am back here… I … want… to … cry!

New plateau

Hello everybody… I’ve been absent because there’s pretty much nothing to share… I haven’t lost another ounce… I guess I am stuck in a new number… interestingly, even when that number is 10 pounds lighter than the previous one… I feel like my clothes don’t really show it… it’s truly like just “another number” but I don’t feel much of a difference… I get quite frustrated to not see more of a change.

If anything… I can share that I am looking into running more 5k’s … I don’t want to stop running… I want to keep going! Last Saturday I tried to run that amount and I couldn’t finish… I did run for most part but it was so hot and humid that I felt like I was going to pass out… I was tempted to call hubby so he would pick me up… my heart rate was high the whole time and I burned a total of 860 calories in 45 minutes… so… you can imagine how agitated I was… I hope I can do better next time.

Discipline and Reward!

Hello everybody… yes… another post… how cool! I might get “in the zone” again! So… last night we had our “LifeGroup Social” from church… as I mentioned in my previous post it was at a gym… all of the guys played volleyball… and about 3 gals joined them… the rest of us ladies stayed on the side… just looking at them play and talking about .. ehem… well.. vaginas… why do we always have to go there??? Honestly! Am I in THAT age where all the conversations end there? I mean… and it wasn’t anything dirty of course… after all our conversations are pretty edifying and clean… but… then… the gynecological conversations begin when one mentions a “weird pain” and another mentions a “necessary exam or surgery” or the discomforts of it… the fears of cancer … the lumps… etc… it all makes me shiver! I tried to stay focus on the game … that conversation could’ve made me either eat more to find some kind of “safe place” in my mind… but I tried to use it towards NOT EATING AT ALL… and that’s what I did… I didn’t touch the pizza and all the amazing desserts that people brought… you should’ve seen it! There’s a place called “Nothing Bundt Cake” and they sell super cute and tiny bundt cakes in very cute wrappers like cupcakes all with frosting in a super cute swirl for each individual cake… and still… I didn’t touch anything! I tried to stay busy hoping to get good “shots” of the players!

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The game was actually way more relaxed than I thought! I could’ve actually played! Nobody was really getting too competitive!) There were people even kicking the ball! LOL! It was all fun! I still am afraid of ridicule and didn’t even try to play!

So… I was a little moody and frustrated to begin with … not my best attitude at all.. but being in  a place where I wouldn’t be able to do the only things that were done… eat/exercise (or then find out that I wouldn’t really want to jump into that conversation) made me feel a bit snappy! At least we left the place pretty early (9 p.m.) to go get our little ones in bed (who were in childcare at church, for free!) and I did as I had planned! I got home and I enjoyed a cup of coffee with sugar free pumpkin spice creamer. Ah! I felt proud of myself! It did help me to stay motivated the fact that some people asked me “how much more I’ve lost” or gave me a delicious “you look amazing” (hey! comments like that are better than pizza!!!) … Today I stepped on the scale and I got a 172.6 … a new low! and I am getting closer to leaving the 170s behind!!!  I know I wouldn’t be looking at that number if I had gone crazy last night and I had eaten! I am happy with my reward! Oh! And I now have officially lost 50 pounds! woohoo!!!! Discipline definitely pays off!

Still baking

Hello everybody… I’ve continued to stay busy through cooking and baking…. but here I am… I have been doing great with my exercising and eating… On Sunday I walked/ran in the morning like I do everyday (except Tuesdays), then went to church, had lunch at Chili’s -went for the 250 cal. sirloin dish with a side of broccoli- and then, since the day was just glorious we went to a park where I got lots of steps in… we walked so much that I ended my day with almost 20,000 steps in! I felt really great! -exhausted but great-

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Tonight we will have a “Social” at a gym that is owned by some friends from church… there will be some “volleyball playing” and lots of eating… I have never played anything in my life… I am interested to do so but I am really bad at any game… I am afraid I will have to hang out with those who decide to stay by the food and sit… the playing does get quite competitive… and I am the kind of person that hides and dodges when the ball gets close… -sigh- we’ll see… I really want to “play something” but I don’t think tonight will be the right time for me to begin… I just hope I do good with all that food… I will do my best.

The Thin Lady Inside