Hello everybody! Yesterday (Friday) was overall ok… My littlest one was still sick, nothing major she just has a cold and seems very clingy, whenever my kids get sick,even if just a little bit, I get very stressed out… stress… not a good thing for someone who is trying to keep food addiction controlled! I managed to do ok still during the day, watching what I ate, etc… then my friend (running pal) she finally returned from camp, I was very excited, making plans in my mind of my week ahead and things looked like this in my head: “walking everyday in the morning with her, running at night! Great!!” BUT, she told me she is leaving again for vacation, she is leaving today to a beach in Florida and will be gone all week with her family, so she needs someone to go take care of her dogs, twice a day, morning and evening, for the week… I am of course thrilled to help! She is my friend, she’s there for me all the time, it’s the least I can do for her… But… again… changing plans in my head isn’t a good thing either… Now… I am not looking forward to this week at all! It means in the morning I’ll have to go to her house to take care of her dogs, feed them, get them in the yard, make sure they have water and feed the fish, I am thinking I will have to do that before hubby goes to work that way I don’t have to get the girls out later (my friend left her daughter’s car with me because I don’t have one now). So, no going to the gym in the morning because I’ll use that time for the dogs…. I don’t want to take the girls with me later because (sorry if I sound crazy paranoid) but because they have a very nice house (my friends) and I am afraid someone could break in in the night and what if someone is there! I don’t know… the house is so big I get afraid of those things… I’ve heard there have been break-ins in that area lately… and I don’t want to go by myself with my little ones and expose us all to anything… PLUS, my girls are terrified of the dogs and being on my own with the girls hugging my legs screaming while I try to feed and give water to the dogs is honestly an almost impossible task! Last time the younger dog ran away from me and got out of the fence and also tangled the leash around my ankles because she’s full of energy and gets too excited to get out so… it’s a bunch of things that make it hard for me to think about taking the girls… anyway… then at night, I think hubby will have to be the one going to visit those dogs which means the time I use to exercise while he plays with the girls “is gone” for the week… I know it’s probably way worse in my mind than it actually will be in real life… I guess the worst thing is just the fact that I had already “planned out my week” *so perfect* and then everything changed… I know I will have to make it work and I will be fine… I guess it just wasn’t a good day to receive “the news” for me already… So… I was feeling anxious and feeling like eating! Then hubby came back with still plenty potato salad that I sent with him for the potluck… I love that stupid potato salad (LOL) so I just opened the bowl and started eating… I am so happy I stopped myself “on time” before ruining my whole day! I just put it away and in the fridge… I kept trying to open the fridge and then would just stop myself SEEING what I was doing!!! It was a struggle but I think I managed to get out of it! Unfortunately that potato salad has lots of potatoes (obviously), eggs, bacon and mayo (besides celery, parsley, red onions, apple cider vinegar and mustard), so 1 cup of that salad is plenty of calories!
Here’s how my day ended though:
Calories burned: 2157 (this has been my lowest since I started my 90 days)
Calorie intake: 1554 (this has been my highest since I started as well)
Calorie deficit: 603 -whew-
Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… and I am struggling… I’ve been sober for 11 days (although I almost didn’t make it yesterday)… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!
The Thin Lady Inside