Hello everybody! If you’ve been following my journey then you already know several things about me….
1. I am a Thin Lady (Inside)
2. I am a food addict. (look for comfort in food, food had always been my reward, my comfort, my “go to” thing if sad, angry, happy, etc.)
3. I started at 222.8 pounds when I said “no more! Let’s lose the weight!”
4. I started running and counting calories everyday as part of my way of losing weight, I never thought I’d be able to run… but I even did a 5k. My goal is to run a marathon some day.
5. In 5 months I lost 45 pounds
6. I inexplicably stopped losing weight over a year ago (still exercising and counting calories)
7. I’ve gone through tests that said my thyroid wasn’t working really good (which could explain why the struggles to lose any weight and why I can gain it soooo fast) and I still have some other tests to go through to discard “Lupus” and see what else could be going on.
8. Every time I go to the scale and I see any weight gain I get so discouraged I go to food again… I still need to make a “brain makeover” that helps me deal with frustrations in a healthier way.
Right now… I am trying to “detox” myself from the scale… I used to think I could make it “not affect me” but since I haven’t been very successful at that I am just “staying away from it all at once” to avoid it being a trigger to binge. I have a short term goal of 90 days without the scale, eating healthier and exercising twice a day instead of once hoping I can “shock my body” and just hoping I’ll see some results… and maybe, just maybe get my slow metabolism going!
So… Yesterday was the 3rd. day of those 90 days and it went great! Not even thinking about weighing myself has been very liberating! Doing things just because “it’s the right thing” and not because I expect to see something on the scale the next morning has actually made things easier… or maybe I am not too hormonal right now… who knows what it is but I’ll take it! 🙂 … Yesterday I walked in the morning (My friend that goes to run with me every morning doesn’t really enjoy running, she wants to walk… So… I walk with her, it’s our only “girl time” without husbands and kids so we get to talk, vent, encourage one another, etc. it’s pretty relaxing and I still get to burn more calories than if I stayed asleep in my bed), then, when hubby came from work I went running by myself to the gym (it’s been too hot to run outside in the evening… today we’ll be reaching 104!!!) So I ran for 40 mins. burning 600 calories for a total of 1000 calories burned from exercise (morning walk/evening run combined) and I ate a total of 1313 calories (100 more than I intended to but it was still a great day) I had a calorie deficit over 1100 calories for the day and didn’t even feel anxious or too hungry. Today I don’t want to get past a calorie intake of 1200, that will be my goal for the day.
Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside and I am a food addict… I’ve been sober for 3 days… And today… just for today… I’ll make all the right choices…. ONE DAY AT A TIME!
The Thin Lady Inside