Home » Inspirational » One day at a time… for 90 Days

One day at a time… for 90 Days

Hello everybody, here I am … I haven’t disappeared… I haven’t quit… I will never do that… I do have setbacks and I fall… but I always get back up… I don’t let myself stay down too long because I know getting back up will be even harder… I had some rough moments this weekend… I had two birthday parties to go to… The first one went fine… I was so proud of myself! I stayed right on goal with my calorie eating and even when I was hungry I just said “no thanks” to the pizza… the second one proved to be too much particularly after seeing the scale go up 2.3 pounds… regardless of my efforts and hard work… So… when I was at this birthday party… even hubby said (he didn’t mean it in a bad way… he just gets sad for me to see me so miserable… LOL) “GO ahead and eat, it doesn’t even matter” I know he means it in a good way… like “eat, you’re not losing weight anyway because of your health issues, don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine” what he doesn’t know is the struggle that goes on within me… when I eat… for me it’s not just “eating a chili dog” for me is comfort, satisfaction, a “quick high” while I am so low… and this quick high will only take me to a lower state… and the problem is that overeating and indulging, with my health issues, do matter… a lot… true… if I eat right and exercise I might not lose weight because of whatever is going on with my body… but… BUT… If I eat anything I want I WILL … I WILL Gain weight and FAST! So… I CAN NOT do that… ever! So after eating 2 bags of cheetos, 1 of fritos, 2 big plates of Nachos and melted cheese, 2 hot dogs (topped with chili), 2 fruit punches and 1 cupcake I felt miserable! I knew that had not been right… I deserve better… and yet… chose wrong… Once again… whatever comfort comes from food lasts way too little… And I have to keep that ALWAYS PRESENT in my mind! Still… I know the struggle might always be there… I am a food addict… I am… I can’t deny it… But I am also strong and I can overcome this! I’ve come a long way and I’ve proved to myself that I am stronger than food! I’ve defeated temptation more than once…

 

So… my plan for now… my new goal is to throw the scale away (LOL!) Basically what I intend to do is to stay away from the very thing that has triggered my overeating lately… The scale… I don’t need it… I DON”T!!!! So… I will, for 90 days (hopefully, prayerfully) eat right, exercise even more and just not weigh… My thyroid hormone levels are fine right now… Hopefully I will in fact start seeing some results in my body… without the scale… I still will have to go to the Rheumatologist for the other tests (lupus) but for 90 days I am determined to work hard and eat EVERY TIME hitting my goal without excuses! Because even if I was to have any progress before, every time I would get on the scale I would overeat afterwards and then of course I would never get out of that hole… So… we’ll see how this pays off in the end… I know some days will be harder than others… But let’s see if my stubbornness and obsessive-compulsiveness help me here! I want to see my calendar marked as a good day everyday! One day at a time… My journal should be always looking GOOD! We will see how this goes… Today is day TWO… Yes… I am The Thin Lady Inside, I am a food addict and I’ve been “sober” for 1 day… today is day two and I intend to make the right choice as they come! Just for today… just for today!

 

The Thin Lady Inside

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2 thoughts on “One day at a time… for 90 Days

  1. I think it’s a great plan. Considering your situation – the fact that you eat well and exercise and still can’t lose weight – losing the scale is a great option! You’re right. It just depresses you, and then you turn to food. It’s exactly what I do, if it makes you feel any better. Only now, I’ve conditioned myself to making better choices so that I can enjoy my comfort food of ice cream.
    Anyway…. Keep strong. I’m rootin’ for you! And so are a lot of others!

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