My new Goal

So… Hello everybody… Here I am … still with a lingering congestion that will not give up! I can’t even hear well! LOL! I had a bad head cold and fever for a couple of days… I couldn’t go exercise for a whole week… But I’ve been doing good with my eating and today regardless of the sniffling and coughing I decided to at least get up early for a walk even if the “run” wasn’t going to happen… It felt good to be back outside and moving!

So… As you know I set monthly goals on my Wii Balance Board… and It’s been over a year since I have reached any kind of goal… Yes I’ve lost weight and then I’ve gained more… Now, I don’t want to keep repeating it, but yes… now we know my thyroid issues play an important role in my lack of success with my weight loss… So… When I started taking levothyroxine (synthetic thyroid hormones -generic brand-) I thought I would start losing weight so I set a new goal to lose 3 pounds in a month, it sounds like “it’s nothing” but I thought it was a realistic number given my “condition”… I hoped I would soon see some decrease in my numbers but, on the contrary, I put on about 5 to 6 pounds… in a week or two!!! it was crazy and very discouraging! Then about 2 weeks ago I found out that the doctor didn’t mention I could take the “brand name” medication… called synthroid and that some people report it’s done a better job for them than the generic brand, we did the switch and it must be somewhat working because today… today… I reached my 3 pounds weight loss in the month… which MEANS that I’ve lost all the weight I had put on during the generic brand medication (5 pounds) and then the 3 pounds that I had originally determined I’d lose! I must say I don’t look that different… I don’t know what the levothyroxine was doing… I don’t know if it was liquid retention, I do feel less bloated, particularly my face… but I am happy that I am not in the 180’s anymore… I am at 177 and I have a new goal… My goal will be the same realistic one for this new month… another 3 pounds to lose in 4 weeks and let’s see how it goes! Hopefully good! I was telling my husband that I’d love it if my “thyroid medicine” would not only help me lose weight from now on but it would be great if it was “retroactive” … LOL! Wouldn’t it be great if all of a sudden when my hormone levels get balanced I would just lose all the weight I was supposed to lose during this year of exercise and healthy eating? LOL! … But oh well! that would probably be too much to ask! I’ll be just happy to not see the numbers go up anymore on my scale!

The Thin Lady Inside

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Playing games and eating pizza….

Well… Playing games… that’s what my doctor seems to be doing… the pizza…. well… I did that! LOL!

Allow me to explain… Yesterday I went to the doctor again, to see if all of my rashes could be some sort of side effect from the medication I am taking.. the Levothyroxine… because it doesn’t look anymore like the allergic reaction I got from the pool, and it’s only around my elbows… and ankles… so.. anyway… I also went to the doctor because of my weight gain… Instead of losing weight I seem to be gaining more! I am now at almost 185 POUNDS!!! What in the world? I’ve gained about 8 pounds … in a few days! So… anyway… I went to the doctor and she looked at me, for a second, but not really at me, never really eye contact, she just looked at my arms to see the rash, kind of quick… like a glance, sat in front of her computer and didn’t look at me again, I kept talking to the back of her head for the next 3 minutes, she told me it must be the same pool rash, I explained to her that the allergic reaction I get from the pool it’s usually on my face, neck and shoulders, my lips swell, etc… this is different, this is on my elbows and it’s not going away or getting better even when I haven’t been to the pool for about 3 weeks. This is how the conversation went

Me: “I was just wondering if this rash could be a side effect from the medicine I am taking, the levothyroxine”

Doctor: “No, that’s not it”

Me: “oh! And I am gaining more weight” 

Doctor: “Well, then eat less and exercise more”

Hubby interrupting in frustration: “She can’t do that! She is already exercising a lot and eating only 1200 calories!”

Doctor: “Well, then stop taking the medicine if that’s what you think it is”

Hubby: -his jaw just dropped, I think he managed to only articulate “BUT”-

Me: “Don’t I need the medicine?”

Doctor: “Well, not really, your levels are not that off, I just thought it would help, your thyroid is not too bad”-

Me: -feeling like I am going to cry- “So… “

Hubby: -manages to say something- “But why do you think this all is? why would she be gaining weight? Is there anything else we can do?”

Doctor: “Well, I am not a weight loss specialist, maybe she should try a Diet Clinic, also the medicine I prescribed is generic, it’s not the pure hormone, it has dyes and other stuff”

Hubby: -dumbfounded- “why didn’t you prescribed the real stuff”?

Doctor: She is now looking at hubby, angry to be questioned “I don’t know if your insurance will cover that, you might have to pay part of it”

Hubby: “but at least you could give us the option”

Doctor: “Well if you still want to take it I can prescribe that, here you go” – she turns to her computer again, places the prescription and says “ok, let me know what you find” and left…

I was shocked… I was now wondering if I even have hypothyroidism at all, I was left with more questions than answers, I was shocked at the poor service and horrible attitude, I left and called my mom, I told her I wanted to see her doctor in Mexico (he’s always been great) or at least talk to him to know what he thinks, I e-mailed him, even pics of my rash, sent him all my test results and he says I definitely have hypothyroidism and that I can NOT stop taking that medicine, he told me to go ahead and get the real stuff (which by the way only costs 26 dollars) and he wants to do a whole gynecologic hormonal profile (or something like that)… I will be following up with him from now on…

Hubby went online and on the FDA information about the generic medicine I was taking it mentions the side effects of the medicine… and it says that people with a history of RA have presented dermatitis like mine… I do have a history of RA!!! and the doctor knows that!!! Also, hubby found out that some people have reported to have gained weight with the generic stuff and have lost it once they took the name brand stuff… UNBELIEVABLE!

It was quite a frustrating day and when it was time for dinner hubby said: “Ok… I am going to buy pizza and YOU are going to eat too” I didn’t refuse… I sat at the table with my family and my 4 yr. old, when blessing the food, said: “Thank you God that mommy is going to eat pizza with us” 🙂 … She was so excited! LOL! I ate pizza, drank soda and just enjoyed… if just for a night! I felt much better afterwards! I still counted calories and I had eaten so little for the day that I ended at 2000 calories regardless of the 3 slices of pizza and soda! I burned 2500 calories total for the day so I still had a deficit of 500! Not the best food to eat but even in my indulging I still managed to not do too bad!

The Thin Lady Inside

Singing the same song

I should write a country song or some sad, heart-felt blues….

“I’ve been trying to lose it… I’ve been working really hard

I’ve done everything I can … and I am still in the same place

I don’t know when it will go away… I am hungry and in pain

and this weight resists to leave me alone… I can’t take it anymore…” oooh! Ooooh!

(I hope it sounds the same in your head as it sounds in mine) It sounds pretty cool… lol! But it’s a sad, sad song… I am still struggling with my weight… As you know I started the thyroid hormone treatment about 3 weeks ago (right?) well… I saw some weight loss after a few days… and then … wham! I gained it all back and more… I had reached 177 pounds and I am back at 183… within TWO days I gained over 5 pounds… it was just PAINFUL to watch! And I can’t even say “my scale is lying” because even my husband came home from work one night and this is how our conversation went right when he saw me:

Hubby: “whoa! Are you ok???”

Me: “what? Why??!”

Hubby (now afraid to say something): “ummm… you ummm, I don’t know… are you swollen?”

(he knows I get an allergic reaction when I get in the pool and I swell and get all bloated and a horrible rash on the face… so I’ve stayed away from the pool! of course!)

Me: “not that I know” (hesitating and touching my face alarmed)

Hubby: (getting closer to me… inspecting me, inquisitively) oh, ok… mmm I think you look really bloated…

Me: (running to the mirror, and seeing me the same way I saw myself all day long) “ummm… I had just thought I was having a “fat day”  but I guess it’s not just in my mind huh”

-sigh- … My shorts feel tighter around the waist, my face does look bigger, I am a mess!

I do have a rash from the last time I got in the pool but it’s on my elbows and legs, my skin is really sensitive so I can’t even shave myself right now (sorry! TMI!) so I feel like a horrible, bloated, hairy monster! -sigh- (sorry about the mental picture)

It’s incredible! I just scheduled another appt. with the doctor… I’ll have it today… that’s why I’ve been away from the blog again, nothing to report except weight gain… Right now I am trying to eat ONLY 1200 calories in the day… Today I had already burned over 1000 calories by 6:30 a.m. after bootcamp and a walk… I don’t know what else to do…

The Thin Lady Inside

How I do it…

Hello everybody… How are you? Well… first of all let me tell you that my weight loss that showed up on the scale… seems to have been true… I haven’t gained any of it back and I am very pleased… I don’t feel thinner though… for some reason I feel all bloated! Yesterday was a good day… My friend and I went for our walk/run early in the morning… I burned about 530 calories in an hour… Then I stayed busy pretty much the whole day so when I finally hit the bed I had walked over 16,000 steps for the day! YAY me! That’s a good number for me because there’s no much “walking around” I can do… after my morning run that’s pretty much “it” in terms of walking… I live in a small department, I don’t have a car to go anywhere… There’s nowhere really near I can go and the sun is just too hot right now for my super sensitive skin and I can’t even swim anymore due to my horrible pool water allergies… -sigh- so… I am not trying to turn this into a whinny post… just explaining why 16000 steps are a very good thing for me!

Another thing I did yesterday was… that I made an amazing, amazing chocolate cake with buttercream frosting… This cake calls for hot coffee in the batter, other ingredients are sour cream and dutch processed cocoa, so you can imagine how rich and delicious this cake is… honestly… HEAVENLY! So… the frosting is also “out of this world” good… a whole pound of butter and six egg whites are part of this frosting… and what takes this cake “to a whole new level” is the chocolate ganache in between the layers of cake and underneath the buttercream, this ganache goes on top of the top layer too and is also covered with the buttercream… This is now hubby’s new favorite cake ever… he was telling me I should sell this cake and sell it for about 60 dollars, trust me… people would pay for this! And with all the ingredients it calls for…. it’s definitely not “too much to pay for” … it’s NOT a cheap cake to make… plus pretty elaborated too. You need a candy thermometer and the whole deal for the frosting… So… anyway… I spent my afternoon making this cake… which we would later share with friends and my friend asked my if I would have a slice too… I said “oh no… I’ll just have my ice-cream” (yes Shadowrun… ice cream is now my nightly treat… I buy the “slow churned” kind with only 1/2 the fat and it’s YUMMY and with only 100 calories per 1/2 cup is a very wise treat!) …. She said “How do you do it? How can you make all that and not eat it?” and it got me thinking… how do I do it? well… I guess first of all… I “plan ahead” I know in advance what I am going to eat and what I am not going to eat… that way… if it wasn’t “part of the plan” it’s easier to say “no” than when I am “improvising” … LOL … Second … I make sure I still enjoy “something”… like I do with my ice cream.  I save calories for MY treat and I enjoy it with everyone else… that way I am not just “looking at others eat”… And third… I “advertise” LOL! You might wonder what I mean by that… but something that really helps me… is “let people know” I will NOT be eating something… that way it would be “embarrassing” for me to “fail” … IYKWIM … Of course I don’t go telling everyone “I will not eat this or that” but I let my hubby and/or my closest friend or something like that… that I will NOT be eating this or that… and then it actually helps me stay in control… because now “people know” and … if I end up eating something I will look “too weak” and I hate that! … so I guess those are 3 of the things I do to adhere to my calorie goals for the day… no matter “how good” a cake is!

Today… I had a slice of that cake… everyone raved so much about it that I actually made a “thin slice” of that cake part of my “plan” for the day…. and oh! they were not kidding! It was gooooooooooooooood! And I enjoyed it “guilt free” because I’m making sure it’s something *I* Plan and control…

The Thin Lady Inside

Not throwing a party just yet…

Hi everyone! I just weighed myself… and apparently I lost 2.7 pounds… I re-weighed myself just to make sure it wasn’t a “mistake” and the number didn’t change, I did lose 2.7 pounds… I am being cautious with the way I feel about this though… I don’t want to end up being disappointed… But as I said, I am weighing myself everyday to keep track of my health and the changes in my body and the response I have to the thyroid hormone treatment and I have to report it… So.. I am not throwing a party just yet… I’ve lost weight in the period of a year before and I’ve gained it back (now I know that it’s because of the thyroid issue) but I sure can’t help but “enjoy” seeing the numbers on the scale go down… Hopefully this is a sign of “things to come”

Yesterday I didn’t exercise… I took it as my “day off”, although something inside of me was really needing to go to the gym or do something! I also knew I need one day off so it was yesterday… Today my running pal decided to not go run because she’s not feeling good… so our morning run together was cancelled … I will be catching up when hubby comes back from work, I’ll run in the gym or something.  Hubby bought tennis rackets the other day and we already played once… I look more like I am trying to catch butterflies or some invisible bug… LOL! But it was fun… It didn’t even feel like exercise but the next day I was all sore in muscles where I am usually not sore so I guess it’s a good sign! Hopefully we can play again tomorrow… It’s pretty hot outside now though… and in the evening when it’s cooler the tennis courts are full (or you need a code to get in) but we’ll see…

That’s it for now… not much planned this weekend… we just have to go grocery shopping and that’s i… How about you? Anything exciting for the weekend?

The Thin Lady Inside