No… I wasn’t crazy… Yesterday I received a phone call from the doctor’s office… They told me that if they didn’t find anything wrong I would be able to see the test results online within three days, so when I saw the number and realized it was the doctor I knew something was wrong in my tests… My heart was beating more out of excitement than worry… I just wanted to know what’s wrong with me .. and hopefully fix it… well… the nurse confirmed it… she said I have severe hypothyroidism … I was shocked and happy! I knew it! I knew it! there was something definitely wrong with me… the dr. prescribed levothyroxine and she wants to see me for follow up in 6 weeks! Hypothyroidism basically means that I am not making enough thyroid hormones, which results in a slower/underactive metabolism and as a result it causes gain weight or the inability to lose the weight… No wonder! The Thyroid makes hormones that control the way your body uses energy… obviously I am not making enough of those… and as a result my calorie burn is not effective as it would be for a normal acting person. This diagnose also explains other things that I kept feeling guilty about… I have been beating myself up over being “so lazy” and hardly being able to keep my eyes open during the day! Always tired, exhausted… taking up to 3 hour naps and never feeling “refreshed and energized” feeling guilty for neglecting my daughters during my “long naps” and feeling inadequate for not being able to do as much with them… what a bad mom! Always trying! Always trying! and always failing! Feeling like there was something “bigger than me” that I just couldn’t control! And it’s hard to try to explain to people… because you’re actually “ashamed” of your behavior… kinda laughing when people call during the day and they ask “were you sleeping?” and taking it as a “joke” but inside feeling bad that it’s “so obvious” that I am that lazy… An underactive thyroid causes feeling tired, weak, or depressed … which is not easy for anybody but particularly for someone who’s trying to lose weight and not seeing results!
I am happy there’s finally a diagnose! today I started the hormone treatment and I am hopeful and just happy to see what’s ahead of me… hopefully everything will work great from now on and I’ll be able to lose the extra weight within the year! That would be AWESOME! Thank you all for being here! I am just happy I wasn’t crazy! I am actually happy I can tell my wonderful (yet skeptical) husband: “I told you!!!” LOL! 😉
The Thin Lady Inside