Didn’t weigh in for two days

Well… We had a “kind of unexpected” visit …. one of my aunts (mom’s sister) came to our city for the weekend, she actually came to see a friend of hers but stayed with us yesterday and left today, I always weigh in on the Wii Balance Board and it’s in the living room, I do it before I eat anything and I don’t like having “an audience” for my weigh-in LOL! So… I just skipped it these two mornings, I hope I’ll have some improvement or something to show for my work and consistency this week… There were two days when I just couldn’t go to my Bootcamp and/or morning run but even those two days I made sure my day didn’t end without any workout… I went both times to the gym (from the apartments where I live) even when it was late and I was tired… I still pushed myself and got things done! Even when the treadmills were busy in the gym and I hate the elliptical I got up there and did it! No excuses! I am telling you… I don’t allow myself to use any excuse… even yesterday morning… (when I had to go to Bootcamp) every cell in my body was begging me to stay in bed… it was just 4:30 a.m. “come on! I am sleeping! I had a rough night with my 2 yr. old! I deserve to stay in bed! How am I going to get myself up right now?” Just the thought of getting out in the dark to get my butt kicked and my heart rate elevated from a resting number of 65 to a crazy number of 180 bpm was just a horrible thought! Plus I had a horrible headache! But still… I got up… and went to bootcamp… I am telling you it wasn’t easy… My head was throbbing in pain… and I actually felt I was going to throw up… My friend that exercises with me every morning even said: “I was about to txt you and tell you I wouldn’t make it today” but she’s very disciplined too and got up as well! I am proud of ourselves, by the time we were done with bootcamp we still had 1/2 hour left before we had to go back home so we walked together… it was a nice talk and at the end I had burned over 700 calories… last week we even reached 900 calories! We do burpies and a bunch of other unspeakable things LOL! but I am proud to see myself being able to do all that jumping around… 2 years ago I would’ve probably passed out just in the attempt and now I can keep up with everyone! The feeling of accomplishment I get when I am done makes the whole “waking up so early and getting out of the comfort of my bed in the dark” totally worth it!

So… no weigh-in numbers today… I’ll be here tomorrow to let you know how I am doing!

The Thin Lady Inside

The good side of my test results

Well, yesterday I finally got all my results back from the lab, everything was posted online for me to see … and even when the results showed I have an underactive thyroid everything else was great! And that just goes to show that I have been definitely doing a great thing for my health!

Since I can remember I’ve always had high triglycerides, even when I was 11 yrs. old! I always thought that was “my normal” … I was a “healthy girl” I wasn’t even overweight… so the high triglyceride levels must have been just that “it was me” … well… something I never did was exercise though… even when I was very young I never engaged in any physical activity so when I saw all my results yesterday I was definitely expecting to see “the usual” very high triglycerides, borderline high cholesterol, etc… well… I was shocked when for the first time in my life all my numbers were IDEAL! everything was well within the normal range and the good cholesterol was great as well! I couldn’t believe it! I am so happy to see these results that just prove that my hard work even if it hasn’t all showed on the scale/mirror because of the thyroid problem it’s definitely improved my health a great deal! I guess I truly am the “Thin Lady Inside” 🙂

Today… well… I already did my weigh-in… and again, didn’t lose or gain an ounce… I am exactly the same, 181 pounds… But definitely feeling encouraged!

The Thin Lady Inside.

Daily weigh-in

Well, as I mentioned before, now that we’ve found the root cause behind my inability to lose weight for a whole year regardless of my (obsessive) calorie counting and discipline exercising, etc… I have decided to weigh myself everyday again to see when the “improvements” start showing and keep close track of every variation… today… I weighed myself and there’s no change… not one ounce of weight gain or loss… which is good! I am thankful for not seeing weight gain… so my weight is: 181 pounds… My goal is to have lost 3 pounds in a month… that is not a lot for a “healthy person” but for me, I think it’s a good goal hoping that the medication starts working… I think it’s not too unrealistic but I must be prepared to not even reach that goal… I hope to do so!

My day yesterday was good, I ate 1834 calories and burned a total of 2416 cals. Right now I am not going too low in my calorie count because of the “condition” but I am still trying to have a calorie deficit of 750 everyday -although yesterday it was only 582-! I’d say my “food related sin” yesterday were cheetos… we went to the beach and I packed sandwiches, pistachios, hummus and crackers to munch on… Hubby bought those cheesy temptations and I ate them too! we walked by the ocean and when we came back I went to the gym and spent an hour there, walked and ran, I only ran 2 miles but walked 2 more there, I burned 624 calories and felt great afterwards! I don’t let any day pass without exercising! Today I was supposed to go to bootcamp from 5-6 but hubby had a Bible Study at 6 so he had to leave earlier (5:40 a.m.) so I had to stay home instead (we have two little ones and it didn’t make sense to get up at 4:30 a.m. drive to bootcamp just to be there only 25 minutes and drive back to be here before he left) so I just slept longer this morning… I will try to go to the gym when he gets home from work tonight.

Now… let’s face the day!

The Thin Lady Inside

A new chapter

I don’t even want to dwell on thoughts like “If I had known sooner…., If I had gone to the doctor 6 or 8 months ago…” No time for “Ifs” … because “IF” I start thinking like that I will just get frustrated… thinking of all the weight I would’ve lost already… or just having felt better all this time… As you can see my mind goes “there” … but I need to “shake it off” and move forward… thinking of what’s ahead instead of what could’ve been… It’s a new chapter and I am just full of hopes for it… leaving the “could’ve” behind and focusing on what “can” be…

So… today I weighed myself… gained another .4 pounds… big sigh… checking how I feel… Not too bad… Not like I used to every time I saw the scale go up… This time I know there’s a reason and I am doing something about it… so… let’s see what my “starting” weight is

181 pounds, almost crossing the line between overweight and obesity… but it’s ok… I know the treatment is not “instant” and I’ll have to be patient… at least I am on the right track now…

Today… because it’s Memorial Day hubby has the day off, he’s sleeping as I type… I didn’t go running because my running pal decided to sleep in and of course I didn’t complain… I needed a day of not waking up at 4:30-5:00 to run… I’ll get my running done later! I must say that running has been getting harder with my weight increase… I have indeed felt heavier and bloated… but it’s not undoable… looking at the bright side I must say that my heart rate gets pretty high quicker and I burn more calories due to my heaviness LOL! … Ok… have to go now… the girlies need breakfast!

The Thin Lady Inside

Day 2

Hi everyone! Today is the second day of the thyroid hormone treatment… and obviously it’s still too soon to see or feel any difference… I am still incredibly tired and still feeling like I am pushing myself to take each of the many thousands of steps that I take daily… 🙂 I must say that after feeling like a failure for a while it’s a relief to actually have a sense of pride… looking back I am just amazed at all the things I’ve been able to accomplish even when being sick and having such a slow metabolism… now I know there was a reason but now I see that when I thought I was weak I was actually stronger than I imagined… I was able to even get myself to run a 5k! My heart got stronger and I became really disciplined getting up in the mornings to go running and/or to the bootcamp! Now I know that I can still do it no matter what… KNOWING that there’s a “condition” just gives me an extra boost … knowing that I was doing all the “right things” and that the fact that my body wasn’t responding as expected was NOT my fault! -whew-

 

So… Now that I started the treatment for hypothyroidism I think gives me another reason to be consistent in my blogging one more time! I will go back to weighing myself everyday just to see when “the changes” begin and to be able to track the improvement in my health, etc…

So … I’ll be here tomorrow… to report my weight… Looking forward to a new phase in my life!

The Thin Lady Inside

I wasn’t crazy!

No… I wasn’t crazy… Yesterday I received a phone call from the doctor’s office… They told me that if they didn’t find anything wrong I would be able to see the test results online within three days, so when I saw the number and realized it was the doctor I knew something was wrong in my tests… My heart was beating more out of excitement than worry… I just wanted to know what’s wrong with me .. and hopefully fix it… well… the nurse confirmed it… she said I have severe hypothyroidism … I was shocked and happy! I knew it! I knew it! there was something definitely wrong with me… the dr. prescribed levothyroxine and she wants to see me for follow up in 6 weeks! Hypothyroidism basically means that I am not making enough thyroid hormones, which results in a slower/underactive metabolism and as a result it causes gain weight or the inability to lose the weight… No wonder! The Thyroid makes hormones that control the way your body uses energy… obviously I am not making enough of those… and as a result my calorie burn is not effective as it would be for a normal acting person. This diagnose also explains other things that I kept feeling guilty about… I have been beating myself up over being “so lazy” and hardly being able to keep my eyes open during the day! Always tired, exhausted… taking up to 3 hour naps and never feeling “refreshed and energized” feeling guilty for neglecting my daughters during my “long naps” and feeling inadequate for not being able to do as much with them… what a bad mom! Always trying! Always trying! and always failing! Feeling like there was something “bigger than me” that I just couldn’t control! And it’s hard to try to explain to people… because you’re actually “ashamed” of your behavior… kinda laughing when people call during the day and they ask “were you sleeping?” and taking it as a “joke” but inside feeling bad that it’s “so obvious” that I am that lazy… An underactive thyroid causes feeling tired, weak, or depressed … which is not easy for anybody but particularly for someone who’s trying to lose weight and not seeing results!

I am happy there’s finally a diagnose! today I started the hormone treatment and I am hopeful and just happy to see what’s ahead of me… hopefully everything will work great from now on and I’ll be able to lose the extra weight within the year! That would be AWESOME! Thank you all for being here! I am just happy I wasn’t crazy! I am actually happy I can tell my wonderful (yet skeptical) husband: “I told you!!!” LOL! 😉

The Thin Lady Inside

What’s going on…

Well… the title of this post could have a question mark at the end too… What’s going on? That is still the question in my life… After more than a year of not losing weight regardless of having a calorie deficit of 750 for most days (sometimes more, sometimes way less) I finally went to the doctor, even my husband is intrigued because he sees my hard work and how there are just no results, not evident, not in my clothes, not in the measuring tape, not in the mirror, not on the scale… And after seeing my tears of frustration and disappointment when I actually GAIN WEIGHT (I am back to 182) he scheduled an appointment with a doctor so that I can get my thyroid check and whatever the doctor thinks is necessary… My appointment was yesterday morning and the doctor seemed “skeptical” to my story… she didn’t seem to believe I am doing “all the things I am doing” and still not losing weight… I must say though that it’s been a week since I’ve been slacking and just eating more than I should… (until today, when I am back to being super strict)… but anyway… the doctor was pretty skeptical, like “really? you run?” I know… I don’t look like I run… there’s this fat girl sitting on the examination table with a big tire around my waist, weighing 182 pounds… saying “I do boot camp twice a week and run every morning”, eating between 1200-1600 calories a day and I can’t lose weight! But she finally believed me… especially when I gave her so many details and told her how obsessive I am to the point of insanity with the recording of what I eat (even if it’s the same most days! LOL) and when she even saw my heart rate monitor and my fitbit calorie tracker…

So… she then seemed interested and said… “There’s something wrong here!” yeah! You think???  so I am getting my thyroid checked and she ordered some other tests that I don’t really know exactly what they’re for… lipid stuff and a diabetes thingy… who knows… I just want them to find something wrong with me that can be fixed and we can all move on and be happy!

I’ve been meaning to post but it’s so frustrating to come always with my same story that I don’t want to bore anybody… I will try to post more because I really enjoy doing it! And it’s a great way for me to express exactly what I feel without the fear of being judged … I am so thankful for my friends shadowrun and Tiff who are always checking on me! Thank you ladies!

So… exercise wise… as you read… I am now consistently on bootcamp 2 times a week… and I am getting my butt kicked! LOL! Last time I burned 900 calories between the bootcamp and then 15 minute walk afterwards… it feels great to start the day like that… I do bootcamp on Tuesdays and Thursdays and it means getting up at 4:30 a.m. to do it! It is hard! I am NOT  a morning person… but I know it’s important to exercise other muscles! I attempted the pool but I have horrible allergic reactions to the chemicals, last year I thought it was the sun that was hurting me… right now I am pretty sure it’s the pool, which is bad… because not only it is a great exercise and just fun but also now that I don’t have a car (after hubby’s was stolen) I was looking forward to being able to use the pool here in the apartments so I can get the girls out… but no! the doctor yesterday told me to take Zirtec and I did but the rash from the swim 3 days ago it’s still pretty bad on my face, lips, arms and legs… -sigh- … the hardest part is when I exercise and sweat… it’s like pouring acid on my skin! It burns pretty bad! I don’t like being a complainer and a whiner … I am thankful for everything and try to keep a good attitude but I guess it’s just “a phase” I am going through where hitting this same wall keeps me frustrated …

Anyway… that’s it with me… As I said… today I am back to being super strict with my eating… this morning I tried the “Fiber One pancake mix” to have something “fun for breakfast” with my girls and still eat within the calorie range and add fiber to my diet… and they were good, not spectacular but good… so if you have a craving for Pancakes and you’re watching your figure, go for these, 1/2 cup of mix (3 -not very big- pancakes) has 180 calories, and 20% of the daily recommended intake of fiber, you can add some syrup (watch that! 210 calories for regular pancake syrup in 1/4 of a cup, so I had 1 tbsp.) and/or you can just have some fruit on the side. you kill your pancake craving and still add something good to your day without having to sacrifice in your calorie numbers.

See you soon again! I promise!

The Impatient Lady