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I need to do better

So… the realistic goal I’ve set for my self of not gaining any weight is very, very achievable… but still I’ve been gaining a little and a little more… What I’ve been doing is being stricter most days and then if there’s an event I don’t worry about anything and just enjoy… at least that’s what I did on Sunday and … well… it was over the top… We had a birthday party and later a Christmas Party for the Choir/Musicians from church and… well… the spread was amazing… I don’t know why… when there’s a good spread of food and goodies in front of me I feel like I might never see “that” again… and I have the impulse to “eat it all” … I don’t … but there’s almost a weird “anxiety” inside of me when I see others eating and I feel like I could “lose my chance to have more” … my goodness… talk about eating disorders! or … should I say mental disorders? -sigh- … so … I have to stay stronger these days in order to be able to achieve my “no gaining” goal… that’s why I had to come here and vent and look for a “fresh start”

I’ll be back…

The Thin Lady Inside

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One thought on “I need to do better

  1. Holiday parties and buffets are so hard! I’m pretty disciplined, but even I have trouble staying in control when there’s a huge spread and EVERYONE is eating! I just try to stay mindful of how much I’m having, and I also try to load up on veggies and have just a little taste of the sweet and fatty foods. Trouble is, the veggies aren’t always available when most people want to bring treats.
    Maybe you SHOULD eat before so that you don’t feel like you have the freedom to just go crazy…
    you’ll find something that works for you eventually, then you’ll look back and wonder why it was so difficult. 🙂
    Hang in there and have a happy holiday!

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