Reflecting and Resolutions

2012 was a great year! Although I know I could’ve done better… I lost 45 pounds at a certain point (right now I am about 5 pounds over that I’ve gained so we could say I lost a total of 40 pounds) I am very excited to see the great improvement in my health, my attitude and confidence… But there’s still a long journey ahead of me… when I started this journey I thought I would’ve reached my 90 pound goal by now… and well… that’s not the case… Most of my weight I lost it in the 4 first months of eating better and exercising and then I reached a plateau where I lost a little, gained a little, lost a little, gained a little and pretty much stayed the same… Right now I am hoping that was just a “bump” that I’ll be able to overcome in 2013! My goals are:

– To be more consistent with exercising

– To be more disciplined when it comes to indulging/treats

– I’ll try to achieve the “rest” of my weight loss… I need to lose 50 pounds… I know it’s hard but not impossible… I would have to lose about 4 pounds each month… which is pretty achievable… I know the last pounds will be the hardest but… I am ready!

I really want to be a stronger person… I hope my “end of the year” post in 2013 will be a successful one where I can show off some new stronger muscles and toning where I’ve never had any! LOL!

This is our year people! This is our year! Have a blessed, successful 2013!

The Thin Lady Inside

The Big Day and after!

Well… I haven’t done too bad… We had our big dinner on Christmas Eve and for the whole day I ate 1700 calories! Not bad for “such a big day” … Then on Christmas and yesterday I know I ate more, we’ve been going out and had too much leftovers here… so I kept going back to the ham in the fridge and having “just a little more” and don’t even get me started with the “cheesy potato casserole” (I love that!!!!) but… I know that overall I’ve done pretty good… Today I am back to strict calorie counting and I am writing this as I sip from my big cup of low calorie hot cocoa…

I’ll get on the scale on January!

The Thin Lady Inside

Before the “BIG DAY”

Hello everybody… we’re almost there! The BIG Day… and I have determined to keep it that way… let “the day” be BIG and not me! In case you don’t know what I am talking about … well… it’s Christmas… A day I’ve always looked forward to! Never dreaded! Not even when I am on a diet! 😉

Today my day has ended at 1496 calories! I’ve stayed busy and happy to feel in control. Tomorrow… Tomorrow will be crazy… crazy busy! I haven’t cooked or baked anything ahead of time… Today would’ve been my cooking/baking day but I got busy with other things and when I was about to start we had friends who stopped by but the visit ended up getting longer (which was great) than expected and right now I am just too exhausted to start baking anything… I’ve decided I am just going to sit, enjoy my nightly treat (which I’ve already counted in those 1496 calories) and watch a movie with hubby… Tomorrow I’ll just get up earlier and start… I am not worried about something “burning” or getting ruined… Christmas, for me, is not about that… family, food, gifts, lights and decorations are all great… but to me… really, the focus is Jesus… to think that He came to this world… in the form of a baby… being God, decided to become vulnerable and feel what we feel, experience what we experience, to bring peace and true joy… -sigh- I get teary just to think about it…

There were other Christmases when, regardless of having His joy inside of me… Things around me kept trying to steal it… I was married before… in a very abusive relationship… where… celebrating anything was out of the question, I remember singing Christmas Carols inside of me, holding my breath out of fear of my then husband, wishing someone could come and rescue me so I could sing out loud the Praises that were pounding inside my chest… and now… being here… enjoying it all… having a wonderful husband who loves me so much… I can’t help but enjoy even the “burning” of a meal!

Merry Christmas to you all! Remember the Reason for the Season… Enjoy your families and don’t take ANYTHING for granted… Pray for those in Connecticut and those in hospitals or for those women, who just like I was once, are not able to celebrate as they want….

I praise God for His son who came to this dark, sinful, painful world… so that we may have real peace in Him.

The Thin Lady Inside

Not too good, Not too bad

Well, yesterday didn’t go as great as I had planned! I did eat more than I intended… Those salads were amazing! LOL! May I say my favorite is mine? And that’s why I know it didn’t go too well because I know how much mayo there’s in it! LOL! … I make a delicious chicken salad with shredded chicken (obviously), celery, white onion, grapes, walnuts, pecans, mayo and salt/pepper OH! I love it! so I had that (besides my progresso soup and a turkey/ham sandwich with cheese and mayo again) … I didn’t even touch any dessert though and stayed away from the chips… later at night I had some of my leftover salad (again) and didn’t have my nightly treat… As I was walking in the afternoon in Target I saw my reflection in a mirror and I didn’t like what I saw! I realized I DO look different… Not as fit, not as lean as I was looking and it freaked me out! I told hubby “I feel fat” and he didn’t deny it -sigh- he just hesitantly asked “really?” -sigh again- …. Today will be better… at least I am not going anywhere, well I am going to Sam’s Club so I’ll have to avoid the “free sampling” but that’s it.

Hopefully you’re all encouraged even in December, I KNOW, it’s harder… but we can do it! right? Can we?

The Thin Lady Inside

Sounds harmless… But… is it?

So, today my end is going to end like this:

Goal Food Exercise = Net
1200 1617 – 273   1344

Now my goal is to eat 1200 net calories, today I had a net calorie intake of 1344, not bad, still not what I want but I am glad I’ve been able to be making great choices… and my exercise definitely helped me… The 1344 calorie intake is already reflecting the treat I’ll have later tonight!

Now… let’s talk about tomorrow… Planning ahead will help me stay within my calorie goal… Tomorrow, I’ve, well… we’ve been invited for lunch to a friend’s house… it’ll all be “soups, salads and sandwiches” … sounds very harmless and very delicious too! But … is it really harmless? I don’t think so… the yummiest of salads I’ve made have sugar and real mayo in them… or they’re loaded with nuts, grapes and/or raisins… and well…they’re just delicious! but when you check the amount of calories in them you realize you would’ve probably been better off eating a hamburger!  So… what am I going to do? I will bring my own Progresso soup! It might sound corny! LOL! But I will do just that… my friend is one that I am very comfortable with, we’re really close and it will not be a “formal lunch” it will just be “lunch with friends” and I know It’ll be ok to do that! … another family will be there too and I’m bringing a delicious (high calorie) chicken salad as well… I guess I’ll munch on some crackers or probably have half a sandwich of the best choice I can find there…

There you go… I’ve planned ahead and I haven’t been listening my fat side tell me “it’s ok, it’s just soup and salad” LOL!

The Thin Lady Inside

Still high

My day yesterday ended on the higher side of my goal for the day… I ate 1683 calories which is too much for the pace I want to set in my weight loss… but… still… way better than I was doing before… Today my goal is to be between 1200-1400… and re-incorporate exercising to my daily routine!

Have a great day everyone! I’ll be posting even on Christmas (YES! I’ll need to post that much more then!) but in case any of you will be gone for the celebrations… well… Merry and Healthy Christmas! May 2013 be a Happy Year for all!

Sipping Coffee and Re-applying it all!

Well, the weight loss journey sure isn’t an easy one… not for me anyway… and when I feel *I got it* I get too confident and it’s like I lose my grasp on it and have to “start again” … right now… I am re-learning to say “no” all over again… I guess I got too “lose” with my “yes” and allowing myself to have treats here and there with the excuse firm belief I would “catch up” later and it just wasn’t happening, it’s been just a bunch of “re-starting” and even when I am proud to have lost half the amount of weight excess on me… I still have a long way to go and I can’t just “stay there” and continue to celebrate a past triumph while I still have a to keep going to achieve real victory. If anything I can just “use my past” to remember “I can do this” instead of using it as a “I’ve done pretty good, do I really need to keep working that hard?” thought!

So… In the things I am re-applying is the saying “No” to myself… I’ve found that if I really want to eat something I’ve just been saying “it’s ok” and eat it… and not just a little bit of it… well… it’s time to exercise some will power and say “not even a little bit! Not for now!” and that’s exactly what I am doing… As I type this post I just ran away from the kitchen where I was already looking in the fridge to see what I could eat (hey! I still have some calories leftover for the day) but … I am choosing wisely and I know those calories will be needed later, when it’s actually time for dinner! so… instead, I made myself a cup of coffee (with sugar-free creamer) and I am proud of my choice…

Saying “NO” felt good… actually better than saying “YES”

The Thin Lady Inside