Hi friends! Here I am… just to update! It’s been a good few days, after the weird binging I had where I ate EVERYTHING in front of me… that was last Friday! Well… I am proud to say I got right back on the horse… I think it’s important to get up real quick after a fall… instead of sitting there thinking about what a bad thing it was to fall in the first place… I guess you just have to do what you do when children fall… you just tell them: “You’re fine! You’re fine, just get up!” because if you look at them and ask them about it … they’ll start crying and say how much it hurt and stay on the floor for a longer time! So… I told myself “you’re fine, you’re fine, just get up” and yes… I was ok! I found the strength to get up after binging, which is not always easy but if you think about it, it’s harder to stay down! at least emotionally…. anyway… So… Sunday we went to an adoption forum in church… we have two biological girls, but there was going to be this adoption forum where they would have information for couples who would like to adopt… and for some reason (God, maybe?) we felt led to go, it was very informative but gut wrenching! To hear the numbers (millions) of orphans in the world and the great need that those children experience on daily basis… it just breaks my heart…
So… before the whole adoption information thing, they served dinner, there were Lenny’s Sandwiches (have you heard of them?) they are good … but, thankfully we had the choice to “fill the bread by ourselves” so I didn’t fill it up too much… I skipped the chips (240 calories a bag) and drank water instead of sweet tea or soda and skipped the cookies as well… When I came home I immediately checked the calories per sandwich (Lenny’s Philly Cheese-steak in whole wheat bread) … can you take a guess? 759 calories!!! 759!!!! that is INCREDIBLE! I am sure mine was less than that because I barely put anything in my bread… I could tell there was a lot of fat in it … and so much (gooooood) melted cheese… I was so happy I stayed away from everything else! WOW! that was shocking!
Then, we all went to our different, individual conferences, International Adoption, Domestic Adoption, Attachment Issues, Foster-to-Adopt, and other things like that… We looked into International and Domestic… wow… so much information… so heartbreaking and just painful… so painful that I felt that cheese steak sandwich came back up to my throat and stayed there along with a big knot! I get so angry when I hear stories about parents abandoning their children… and just the whole topic… it’s sooo hard… inconceivable… I felt sick to my stomach… and I’ve felt sick to my stomach ever since… I could blame the sandwich but I know it’s my emotions… it always happens… it was a very emotional day so… I am paying for that… We still don’t know if and when we are going to adopt but we are definitely looking into that.
Oh… I’ve stayed within my calorie goal for each day and I’ve lost any pounds I gained … but again I am approaching the 179-178 numbers where I get stuck and then start gaining again… so please keep me in your prayers and/or wish me luck and let’s hope this time I’ll just continue to see the numbers go down.
The Thin Lady Inside