Recently I wrote about destructive behaviors… how, in that case, for example, I felt angry over a ruined cake and I wanted to eat the whole thing by fistfuls! Today… I want to share about something else that I’ve noticed happens to me, and if it happens to you, hopefully this helps you identify it and do something about it.
All my thoughts/behaviors that are unhealthy and opposite of what I should be doing when trying to lose weight, seem so stupid! Even I can’t explain why I feel like that if I should know better! But I have to admit they are there!
The thoughts I want to share with you today is the:
“If I already lost x amount of pounds before in x amount of weeks/months I can do it again, so it doesn’t matter if I eat this now I can start tomorrow and I’ll still lose whatever pounds I gain pretty soon”
and another common one (for me) and kind of related to the previous one
“This won’t make me fat! it’s just one day! It’s just for now! I’ve lost a lot anyway… I won’t get it all back just by eating this thing now”
UGH! Putting it like that is sickening!
Because even when they are both … somewhat… true… (and that’s the dangerous thing, that they are “true”) When I get off track with my healthy eating/exercising… it’s easy for me to think that I will be able to re-gain control “the next day” but the problem is that… those thoughts are destructive because we shouldn’t wait… the more we do… the more we postpone it gets harder and harder to get back on track… and even to regain that “trust” in ourselves… those thoughts of “I’ll do it tomorrow” start getting mixed with the despair of feeling out of control yet again! until they are totally replaced by them and even with a deep feeling of failure and shame!
I know this! I really do! And even when I do… for some reason I get deceived by them again and again!
I hope my “voicing them out” and analyzing it like this helps me out for future struggles, which I know will come… Yesterday was a hard day.. I had Ladies Bible Study and they provide breakfast there, I know what that means… it means: Egg casseroles with sausage and/or chorizo, hashbrown casseroles, pigs in a blanket, muffins and coffee cakes, they are yummy but high on fats! yes, there’s fruit… but I know if I JUST eat that I will be hungry very soon! So I did good and got up earlier to have breakfast at home (my veggie omelette) and left some room for carbs (I usually have toast and sugar free jelly) to be able to still “have something” in church, so I just had coffee there and a small piece of bread.
BUT … It was ALSO our LUNCHEON day too! So we had lunch afterwards, it was all salads… and they were just AMAZING AND EXQUISITE! Anybody who doesn’t know better (or wants to deceive him/herself) would think it was very healthy and low calorie… It’s just salad! right? but they had so much dressing! And it didn’t taste low calorie at all! There were salads with pecans, raisins and lots of a delicious dressing on them, others with olives, feta, etc… everything was just out of this world good! oh and crackers of course… and I had two plates… because even when I knew there must have been lots of calories in those salads the other bad side of salads is that they are not that filling! It was pretty late and I didn’t have anything else ready at home… so my stomach was eating me inside already! There was dessert too but I didn’t touch it, and while everybody was drinking sweetened tea I had water.
Later in the day and with my feeling of “I didn’t do very good anyway” I had some rice (about 1 cup) and ate creamy chicken with bacon, not a lot, less than 1/2 a chicken breast, but still, I could’ve made myself a sandwich or something better and I knew I needed to stay lower in the calories… I didn’t feel like exercising… at all! And the destructive thoughts I already mentioned before kept telling me “today doesn’t matter anyway… you can always start tomorrow” … It was past 8 p.m. when I thought that was “it” for me… and that’s when I rejected those thoughts, got up and decided to ignore those thoughts… My argument was: “If I can start tomorrow why not today?” I exercised on the balance board for an hour and burned 351 calories!
It felt great! Had lots of water and didn’t have my 60 calorie chocolate pudding that I usually have with coffee… I felt like I was in control and I was… it feels good! I am! I got this… for now…. and I’ll continue this way if I keep being honest about the thoughts I have that are nothing else but excuses!
A great quote I’ve found on the topic, that I hope helps you as it helps me is:
“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb
The Thin Lady Inside.