Home » Inspirational » Identifying Self-Destructive Thoughts!

Identifying Self-Destructive Thoughts!

Hello everybody… I must say I am doing well! Just had my healthy (and big) breakfast! I have to say that I must “have it all” in the morning! You know? And by that I mean that I can’t just eat protein or just carbs because I find myself with more cravings during the day… So I have a very good, big breakfast that includes veggies(zucchini, broccoli, green beans, mushrooms -stuff like that-), 1 egg, 2 slices of low calorie bread, reduced sugar jelly (1 tbsp) and coffee and that way I feel satisfied and it really, really helps me do good during the day!

So.. yesterday I did some exercise on the Wii Balance Board… I mentioned I burned only 230 calories, I had planned to do more but I had to make a cake for hubby’s work… They are having a baby shower for one of the ladies there and he said he’d bring a cake… well… My first cake (due to my trying to do things faster issue) stuck to the pan and I had to make it again…

So here is where the self-destructive thought/behavior kicked in… Let me be just totally open and honest about what happened when I saw that cake completely break and have big chunks of it stuck into the pan… I felt like something just “possessed me” … and that “something” wanted me to eat the whole cake! I could’ve! I AM TELLING YOU! I got so frustrated and upset! But… I wanted to eat it all… in my mind I tried to “rationalize it” and make myself believe it was to avoid “wasting it” but … I realized this was just a lie! There was a deeper issue there… I had the URGE to not “feel bad for the ruined cake” and “peace myself” with the stupid cake! It was incredible… And don’t think that I wanted to slice it and eat it with a fork… I could’ve just buried my face in that horrible, crumbly mess of chocolate cake and eat it all! I even saw myself grab a fistful of cake and it was hard not to stuff my mouth with it! I immediately threw it all in the garbage! that was the only way I would not eat it! Isn’t that crazy? I am glad I didn’t give in (although I did eat some… but I controlled myself and made myself get up, pull myself together and stop the madness!)

Then… once my second cake came out (and I made sure this time I did everything right so it wouldn’t stick)Ā  I worked with fondant… and as you know I’ve only worked with it once before… well… it was just as hard… so I kneaded, kneaded, kneaded, rolled out, kneaded again, rolled out and rolled out again! LOL! not me… but the fondant! So… I think I stood there working on the cake for about 4 hours… the sole of my feet were killing me… and my arms were pretty tired when I finally finished… so I think I got a good work out there too!

Today I am looking forward to burning some calories! Thank you all for reading and encouraging! I’ll now go comment on some blogs!
oh! And Here is the Innocent Looking Cake I made:

The Thin Lady Inside

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4 thoughts on “Identifying Self-Destructive Thoughts!

  1. I have to do the same thing! Throw it in the trash right away to avoid temptation! I always allow myself one bite, then out they go! So good for you!
    Your fondant is beautiful! And yes, I would qualify that as a workout! šŸ™‚

  2. The cake is beautiful! I agree with Shadow, kneading is hard work so you surely burned a few calories there. It’s very hard to have only a bit of cake! I know! For me if there is some, it will stick on my mind until there is no more. I would constantly think about the cake until it’s gone or I finished it. Can you believe pastries have that power on us?!? So you did awesome! šŸ™‚

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