Ah! This morning! If you could’ve gotten inside my head you would’ve probably gone crazy! it’s almost like there are two persons inside of me… the healthy one… yes… the thin lady … and the fat, lazy one! Thank Goodness I won (the thin one! LOL) It was 6:15 and my almost 2 yr. old woke up, just like she always does around that time, and just like I always do I got up, changed her diaper and gave her some warm milk to get some extra sleep, she goes back to sleep right away and I… I try to stay in bed until 9 a.m. … Yesterday I had planned to go running instead of going back to sleep, it seemed an “easy thing to do” but it was 3 in the afternoon when I thought about it… This morning it didn’t seem as doable so when she woke up and I woke hubby up so he goes to work my overweight body took me straight back to bed to get our “extra sleep” … it’s sounding kind of weird and creepy when I put it that way… but do not worry, I don’t hear “other voices” and I don’t have multiple personality, although it almost feels like I do… especially when this fight in my head occurs:
– Lazy Me: I’ll just go run in the evening, when hubby comes back from work
– Thin Me: I should just go now, because I know in the evening I won’t want to! Plus I will want to watch my show and I will end up staying.
– Lazy Me: I am sure I can find some other time to exercise during the day.
– Thin Me: No, I won’t! once the girls are awake how am I going to exercise?
– Lazy Me: I can probably take them to the gym with me, although it says “no children allowed” but maybe I can keep them busy coloring and the almost 2 yr. old in her stroller.
– Thin Me: No, she won’t stay in her stroller and I know it! I need to stop lying to myself! I know I will “kind of try” to exercise if I leave it for later but then I will have “the perfect excuse” to quit it once it doesn’t work because the girls didn’t let me
——– UGH ————-
Thoughts like that were the ones crossing in my mind, it was truly like a dialogue! I realized I was just wasting time and my “guilt” or “good conscience” wouldn’t let me go back to sleep that easy! 15 precious minutes passed with me just closing my eyes trying to sleep while all this “turmoil” was going on inside of me… so in a moment of weakness of the “lazy me” when she thought she almost got me, after all she now also had the “it’s too late now” argument … I just jumped out of bed, quickly changed and went to the gym… My husband, who hadn’t left yet (of course I had to be back before he left) was so shocked when he saw me! I can tell he was happy though, I am sure he realizes how hard it is for me… I felt like the “arguing” inside my head was so loud that everyone could hear it! LOL! So… I went and ran for the 30 minutes I had left before hubby had to go and it felt good!!!
So… I WON!
I guess it’s one battle at a time!
The Thin Lady Inside