Good Monday everyone! here I am … updating again… and I must say that once again I went through a little rough patch... you know? Just feeling like “the fattest person on earth” and I don’t intend to offend anybody who has more extra pounds than I do by saying this… I guess it’s just the way I felt internally just like many other women -and men- (thinner or bigger than me) feel. And it’s funny though because I think “it showed” you know? When you are feeling “fat” I think it shows even on your face, demeanor, everywhere! When you are feeling good with yourself it shows too! You even walk different! I think part of my issue is having to wear still my “big clothes” … I already got rid of “my initial clothes” but right now everything is baggy and I look… just… frumpy… period! And I think that isn’t helping at all! I didn’t want to invest in clothes that I am planning on “leaving” soon because I will lose more weight but I think I will have to buy at least a “dress” or shirts that make me feel “better” I know the changes have to be internal first but for some reason “visual aids” DO help! right? anyway…. I just wanted to share that even the scale hasn’t been showing any changes…. But I am planning on having it all go different this week! starting TODAY! I am energized and pumped up to go! I am on this battle to win it!
So… those are the “external things” about my battle…. now let’s talk about taking care of “the spill” … you might wonder what that is all about… and I’ve been thinking about my “extra weight” and how we, obese/overweight people deal with the “extra-pounds/kilos”. I read in a book (I am sorry, but I truly can’t remember the name of the book) but I read there –a long time ago- that many times we try to take care of the extra weight instead of going to the source of that weight, and she, the author, compared it to trying to take care of a flooded kitchen by “wiping” the floors instead of by going to the faucet and closing the source of the water! She mentioned that many times, when “wiping the floors” trying to get them dry, will have definitely some success and you’ll definitely see less water and might even manage to “dry your floors”, just like when trying to “lose the extra pounds” we focus on the scale and on how the problem seems to “get better” and we clean the “spill” but then for some reason… “the kitchen gets flooded again” and we feel miserable and lost and like a failure… she said that if we didn’t focus on the weight but on the source, just like “closing the water” we might not see immediate results, the kitchen will still look “flooded” but eventually the water will dry! Sometimes our source is anxiety, laziness, depression, etc… and part of that source is the “overeating/making bad choices, sedentary life” so… let’s get to that!!! without focusing too much on the “evident consequences” of our bad lifestyle … let’s do things we enjoy, even get counseling if depressed, start making better choices and eating healthy… don’t worry if the “spill is still there” it will DRY UP! even if little by little… I know my SPILL will go away! Because I am taking care of the source… and when I feel all flooded (like this weekend) and when I feel discouraged by numbers on the scale I should remember that I am taking care of the source… I am watching the “faucet” not “the spill” and yes… it is embarrassing when others visit and see your flooded kitchen… you feel the need to “explain yourself” and have them see you “wiping your floors” (you know what I mean, right?) so you are tempted to take care of it in any way you can that will make it all “go away faster” -especially if their kitchens looks great!- but that will not take care of it, at least not permanently… pills and “crazy diets” will not help you learn anything! will not help ME learn anything and since it wasn’t a “sustainable change” a real “lifestyle” it will not last! I am making the right choices day by day now and … my kitchen will show it soon!
I hope that analogy helps you see things different… like it is helping me…. and yes… I want to take care of some external things like buying clothes, etc… but I know that my efforts and work are focused on taking care of the real issue.
The Thin Lady Inside