Hello world! Hello friends! Hello fellow-fighters! 🙂 If you are in this fight… if you already gave the first step towards being a healthy person… you are already a fighter and a brave person! The first steps are the hardest ones… do not get discouraged… you can do this! There are many of us! You are not alone… We all feel like we can’t do this at times but step by step we’ll get there!
So… My scale, right? The day before yesterday +.4 … what in the world? I didn’t even eat dessert at Memorial Day! it wasn’t easy! We went to hang out with people from hubby’s work and dinner and desserts were just amazing! I did eat plenty of protein but stayed away from carbs… then when desserts came I just passed, there were chocolate cupcakes, a cheesecake sampler (that looked soooo incredibly good! I die for cheesecake LOL! until realized you LITERALLY DIE FROM IT! LOL!) There was also a red velvet cake and tons of chocolate and stuff to eat THE WHOLE TIME! I was very proud of myself and then the +.4 came… -big sigh- ok… that’s fine… don’t panic… you haven’t seen the scale go down for three weeks, you ran like a mad person yesterday, you’ve stayed active and now it went up … it wasn’t much… just a little so … move on! Then yesterday… scale… +.7 … GULP! No biggie, right? All of a sudden I felt like I used to… I actually started feeling like I haven’t lost anything at all! Have I? yes I have! Of course I have… don’t dwell on that number! We already talked about this! … moving on… moving on…
Then today… -1.1 ok… much better… you are back to where you were … keep fighting… don’t get discouraged… it is taking time and that’s ok… don’t go back to your old habits and don’t go back to being afraid of food either… my first reaction is to stop eating! LOL! But I won’t do that… this is a journey to find health! My thin body! But I won’t take shortcuts… I’ll keep doing what I am doing… I won’t panic… I’ll continue to eat healthy and exercise… 🙂 …
The Thin Lady Inside
So… you are still struggling to lose weight! You are working out hard and the scale isn’t moving… what are you doing all this for? Is it even worth it? You are not eating everything you crave for and still the numbers won’t go down! Plus your legs are sore from yesterday’s run! Why don’t you just eat one of those blueberry muffins you made? Your husband said they are delicious! The scale won’t even change anyway! And here you are… depriving yourself from something you know you are going to enjoy! … Eat it! Just eat whatever you want! Remember how good it made you feel? Remember how good it all tastes? What are you doing all this for? It’s hard and then you don’t even lose weight as fast as you want! And the scale has been showing the same numbers for about 3 weeks now… You are discouraged and what can you do when you are discouraged? Food has always been there for you! It won’t fail this time either! It will make you feel good to just stuff it all down your throat! That’s who YOU REALLY ARE! Maybe you are not meant to be thin! Others might be able to do it but not you! Maybe there is nobody thin inside of you! If people love you they should love you no matter how you look! Plus… you have to remember that you’ve lost weight in the past and gained it all back… maybe it will happen again and you’ll just feel like a failure one more time! People will give you “that look” again… the “sorry” look and then you’ll feel like explaining all over… so… just stop now… stop punishing yourself with this diet and making a fool of yourself! You are not strong! You’ve never been! You can’t run! You just CAN’T! Maybe you feel like you are running but it’s not even that fast! Your joints aren’t that strong… and you are older now! Maybe you had a chance at this when you were younger but not anymore…
– SIGH –
You know what? STOP!!! Just STOP!!! I won’t hear you anymore! Let me tell you something… I am not going to go back to eating the way I used to! I am not going to stop exercising! I just want you to know that I am here to stay! Do you think you are tempting? Well, you are not! You are wrong about me and I KNOW that NOW! I am done with your lies and your traps to keep me lazy, fat and unhappy! You know what to say but I know you well now… all your promises of comfort if I go back to food and sitting around have never delivered, it all might sound good in the beginning but I’ve heard you too many times before and you’ve failed me every single time! You think I deserve to eat that blueberry muffing? Well, let me tell you something… I deserve not to eat it! Why would I stop exercising now? I feel better than I’ve ever felt! Yes, you are right! The scale hasn’t moved for three weeks and it might make me feel discouraged from time to time but… what’s the option? Going back to overeating? Really? That’s not an option for me! Not anymore! I KNOW I won’t feel better… I know I’ll only feel worse! Food provides a comfort that lasts too short and I know that the guilt and remorse that come afterward are just too horrible and painful and I don’t want to be there again! So what if the scale won’t go down for now? Will I just eat to make it go up? HA! That wouldn’t be smart! Would it? I know the scale will move, eventually but not only that… let me tell you that even if it stayed there forever… I know I am healthier, happier and stronger than ever! and it will just keep getting better! Yes I like food and I love what I am eating right now! I am not missing out on anything! I am now in control and I choose what I eat! Do you think I’ve forgotten the feeling of being stuffed, sleepy, weak, lazy, bloated, heavy, tired and defeated? That’s how I felt everyday and it kept getting worse with each passing day! If I am discouraged now I am strong enough to get encouraged again and go use the gym as a motivation… so go away you stupid voice! You get weaker each day! I am stronger than you now! This is WHO I REALLY AM but I was trapped for too long! Yes, there is a thin, healthy, happy person inside of me… and each day that I work hard I get closer to being that in every aspect of my life! I am running now! I am running! and it might not be that fast but it keeps getting faster! whatever my age, it doesn’t matter! this is not just for young people! This is for EVERYONE and I am doing this!
The Thin Lady Inside
Good day everyone! I told you I had eaten to get “unstuck” from this plateau and re-start losing weight! Well.. after my “day of overeating” I went back to my healthy routine and today I started seeing the results… I lost 1.3 pounds and I am going for more! It always scares me when I do my “overeating” thing to get out of plateaus wondering if it will really work again but it has never failed… and I always lose about 10 pounds pretty steadily after I do that… then have to do it again… I guess it’s about “switching things up a little bit” and “re-assuring” my body that there is “GREASY FOOD OUT THERE TO EAT” I am just choosing NOT to eat it… LOL! I don’t know…
So… I wanted to let you know that it worked and that I am definitely back on track! I don’t use my “overeating days” as an excuse to go back to my old days! I really do it wish such fear and almost “not wanting to do it” … honestly!
And speaking about honesty.. I must say that’s something that has been a key element in my weight loss journey this time… HONESTY … not telling myself lies like: “I just can’t exercise today” “It’s impossible to eat right being so busy” “I’ll just start on Monday” “I would lose weight but I can’t cook separate meals for myself” “I might get hurt if I work out” and… you tell me the lies that you’ve told yourself in the past… I have many… I’ve believed those lies myself and deep down I’ve KNOWN it’s nothing but excuses because I’m too lazy and because I feel “I deserve to eat all that junk” when honestly… I should’ve known that I was hurting myself… that there is always time to work out (I could choose that over computer or TV), I can always make better choices, I don’t HAVE TO EAT that piece of cake! and Starting today is just as good as starting on Monday! This time… I am not lying to myself… sometimes excuses (and very good ones) pop into my head (right before I work out) but I just get rid of them! I face the truth and tell myself (huh! that was a good one! I almost believed you!)
Ok… so… I hit a major plateau! Once I hit the “I lost 40 pounds” wonderful moment I got “stuck” I would gain a little, lose a little, gain it back, lose it back and pretty much stay in the same place! Yesterday I decided to indulge (like I always do) to “get unstuck” ! This method has never failed for me… and right after binging (purposefully and not out of control) I gain a little but only to start losing again at a good pace! I hope this time is no exception!
So yesterday I indulged with a big slice of apple pie (YUM!!!) and buttered noodles! I am not saying “my method” works for everybody! And I think “this method” should be used CAREFULLY to not lose control again! So… what I did to make sure I wouldn’t just use it as an excuse to go back to the overeating monster I exercised even more so it wouldn’t be a complete “out of my healthy journey” day! and even when I had planned for it to be a day of “eating anything I wanted” I still decided to test and exercise my self control by saying no to Oreo Cookies at night! So… it felt good!
Today I saw an increase in my weight which I was expecting… I gained .6 pounds and that’s ok… I am even more strict now than I was “pre-plateau” hoping I’ll see the numbers go down again after this!
Ok… had to share what’s been going on and just pretty much give a quick update on how I am doing! I know I DO get worried when I see a fellow “weight loser” disappear for a while and I can’t help but wonder if they are doing ok or if they just backslid and are struggling to find their way back to a healthy lifestyle… so I want to make sure I let everyone know that the I am still here, fighting against the extra pounds and keeping my body guessing, sometimes when the routine is to strict (and pretty much the same everyday) the body gets just used to it and it’s important (I think) to “surprise it” a little bit to get it to keep losing!
Thanks for reading!
The Thin Lady Inside
Hello friends! Here I am again! Just to give a quick update of how I am doing… I ran half an hour the other day in the gym (Friday) because I had had a slow day (I actually needed a nap really bad during the day) so whenever I had the chance instead of exercising I slept! It felt good… but as soon as hubby came home from work I ran… oh! Wait … I had already mentioned that… and I am actually going to be posting soon about my “running experiences and adventures” LOL! anyway… I wanted to say that I’ve been going to the pool more lately and I make sure that I move A LOT while in there… actually my legs have been sore from so much kicking and everything! So… talk about a cool way to burn calories, right? Let’s drown THEM!
I hope everyone had a good weekend! I’ll be back tomorrow to update my weight loss chart and just say hi to my friends that are always faithful reading and commenting! (Thanks Shadow, Dave, Healthy Life and Janet) plus all others who read and might not comment but like the posts 😉 Thanks!
The Thin Lady Inside
Weird title huh? That is the translation of a Mexican saying “No estaba muerto, andaba de parranda” …. and we usually say it when … we haven’t been around for a while somewhere and just want to say that “nothing was wrong… I was just busy” or something like that… So… here I am… I have had some pretty slow days to be honest… My whole routine got a little messed up because I had to cook for a group of ladies and it took the whole day, I ended so tired that I didn’t exercise (plus the cooking/baking) absorbed all of my day… then I had dinner with that group of ladies and I ate the same thing I cooked for them… including a slice of a Mexican dessert that is just MARVELOUS! (I had a very very thin slice) but I was actually worried when I got on the Wii balance board … Thank God my weight didn’t change! then after that I got my period (yesterday) and … well… I get hungrier… so I’ve been “snacking” a little more and lazier than usual so I haven’t had my exercise as tough as I usually do! -sigh- but today… I did better and when hubby came home from work I exercised for 45 mins. (at least!) 15 mins. on the elliptical (60 calories only… COME ON!!!) and then when a treadmill was available I ran for 30 mins. at 4.5 mph so that was good! It felt great (burnt 362 calories) … It’s amazing to see the big difference in burnt calories when you are thinner! I remember I would’ve probably burnt 450 – 500 calories for the same run when I started at 223 pounds and now… I only burnt 362 but that’s ok! It’s for a good reason! I am lighter and that’s great! I can actually MOVE MY ARMS as I run now unlike in the beginning I had to hold on to the railing of the treadmill while walking!!!
So…. my weight is the same 182.8 pounds! I will go back hard at it to leave the 180’s behind me soon!
The Thin Lady Inside
I have created a new PAGE where I’ll be posting pictures of my transformation! It is very embarrassing to see where I was but at the same time I feel proud to how far I’ve come… plus it is good visual aid for me and I hope it’s good motivation for others! I am not there yet! I am not even half way there (almost though) and it hasn’t been all easy but it’s definitely worth it! I invite you to visit my “Before and After Pics” … the “after” is not complete… because there’s no after yet… so we could call it before and “now” until I get there!!!
To see the pics click here
The Thin Lady Inside