So… today… I was hungrier than usual, especially tonight… oh my! I wanted to eat… eat… and eat some more! So I made myself a roasted portobello mushroom and then added some “queso panela” (a fresh kind of Mexican cheese) and ate it… but it wasn’t enough… not for the hunger I was feeling! I went to the refrigerator and NOTHING! It’s pretty much empty! We need to go grocery shopping! and then I found it… I had a frozen chimichanga that my dad bought when he came to visit last weekend… I didn’t even think about it and got it in the microwave… I was hungry! And nothing would stop me! “It’s just today! right? tomorrow when we go grocery shopping I’ll eat right again… Plus… it’s weekend…” so.. you can see how I was thinking! My chimichanga was ready… I could smell it… it wasn’t homemade… it was nothing fancy or special but it was saying MY NAME! oooh! I couldn’t wait to eat it! … hubby even said: “are you supposed to eat that?” and I said “no but I will! I am hungry!” and he said no more… something inside of me… I guess it was my conscious still made me look at the amount of calories… and guess what I read: 790 calories per serving! My legs weakened and I just threw it in the garbage! 😦 … Good bye chimichanga! You were tempting but I am strong! Plus I know I am not really HUNGRY… right? I have to control myself! I ate what a normal thin/healthy person would eat! I got you pegged you fat mind!!! it is you all along telling me those lies of me “deserving to eat a chimichanga” like if it was some kind of reward! But you know what? I deserve NOT TO EAT IT! I deserve better than 790 calories! I deserve a healthy me! I am not that easy!!! so there you go bad thoughts… to the garbage along with that big fatty taco! -sigh- seeing that 790 in the wrapper was the “mental slap” I was needing to “come back to my senses” … I am glad something in me made me check before eating! I know I would’ve felt horrible had I eaten that thing!
The Thin Lady Inside