Well… I made a big discovery… just last night! As I sat next to hubby drinking my cup of coffee all of a sudden I saw my hands and thought: “Whose hands are these?!” I looked at them like if looking at a stranger… observed and inspected them as I flip them to look at them on both sides! They didn’t look like “my hands!” yes… they are thinner… and I’ve seen my hands “thin” before … a long time ago… but these didn’t look like “MY thin hands” but someone else’s (someone older) hands! … I looked at hubby and … well… this is how the dialogue went:
- Me: My hands are older!
- Hubby: I know!
- Me: What? what do you mean “I know”?
- Hubby: Oh yes, I noticed in church!
- Me: -gasp- oh my… in church? This Sunday?
- Hubby: Yes, but it’s better to have “older thin hands than younger and fat” (LOL)
- Me: I guess (still staring at my hands)
- Hubby: Oh! And your feet too!
- Me: (terrified) My feet? they are older?
- Hubby: oh no… I mean thinner…
- Me: oh ok!
I’ve always thought that when I lose weight my husband is finally going to see me for the first time! He met me fat and fat I’ve been, he’s seen me a little thinner and bigger than this but he’s never really seen me thin… and I’ve always looked forward to the day when he can actually SEE ME instead of all this extra stuff that is COVERING ME… but now… I realize that I don’t know how I’ll look either… I am actually nervous and excited at the same time about seeing myself too… almost like “meeting someone new” because I’ve changed… It’s been years since I last saw me thin and I don’t know how *I* really look anymore… I’ve never met the 33 year old thin version (REAL VERSION) of me… and I can’t wait… that’s ok if my hands are older… they already were… I just hadn’t noticed because they were sooo stretched with all the fat that there was no way a wrinkle would show… they are not really THAT wrinkly… just different, just older… they are MOM hands… I guess I should start buying some lotion though… LOL!
The Thin Lady Inside