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When not everything is perfect

-sigh- I write this… in great disappointment at myself… I fell into the big temptation of going to food for comfort… I used it again when I wasn’t in “my best moment” and I regret every bite of the things I ate… thank God we don’t really have unhealthy food at home… otherwise I would’ve pounded down the chips, cookies, ice cream or whatever! Thank God we are also at the end of the month and we haven’t bought groceries because there wasn’t much to eat anyway… but I had…

  • some creamy chicken/vegetable soup (it has butter, flour and whole milk in it)
  • I also had some leftover meatloaf
  • fideo noodles that my baby didn’t want to eat

and that was it! I knew what was happening… I felt “it” take control! It wasn’t me anymore! It was that weird sensation of “anxiety” and … guilt even! that makes me SHAKE and makes me eat and makes me feel disappointed because I AM EATING and I can’t seem to be able to stop! Today wasn’t a good day for me! Littlest one wasn’t feeling well and I had to take her to the doctor… nothing to big… strep throat … but it affects my whole day when they get sick… I am irritable, nervous, anxious… and I felt I was handling it well until I saw myself eating….

why? Why do I do this to myself? I won’t dwell on this fall but I have to take responsibility for what I did… I must admit it… repent and move on to better things! Hopefully I’ll start gaining control over this impulses I have to overeat when I feel stressed out! When something bad happens, I find it easier to fall into temptation when things are “even a little wrong” than when there’s a big celebration and everyone’s eating! … weird!

anyway…  I wanted to confess… and hopefully learn from this… I don’t want to do this again!

-sigh-

The Thin Lady Inside

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4 thoughts on “When not everything is perfect

  1. I read your “about me” and was very touched. Your “about me” could be about any of us. I felt a lot of those same feelings, which is why I looked in the mirror that day and said “This is NOT me.” I KNEW it wasn’t, so that day I did something about it. I was determined, but I had plenty of setbacks as well – just like you experienced today. My advice: Do NOT beat yourself up anymore. You acknowledged it, you feel bad about it, and my guess is tomorrow you will be right back on track, especially because you don’t like feeling that way! I have plenty of posts planned for HealthyLife’s blog site, but if you EVER have questions or need support, just visit her questions page. Even if I’ve lost my weight already, we are all in this together!!

    • Thanks!!! I guess we are on this FOR LIFE right? Because even when we lose all the weight we have to always keep working! 🙂 Thanks for your support and encouragement! I appreciate it! And it’s great to have someone who “is already there” and is cheering you up so you can get there too! 🙂

  2. Poor you! I know how you feel and it’s not fun. I would step into that mode too if my child was sick, maybe only because there is enough to worry and think about! You brain probably sens messages like : ok now we are going to need more energy to get through this so make me eat lol. The worst is like you said it’s not even junk food or pastries. Isn’t it anoying not being able to just eat proper healthy food without always thinking about calories. Anyway I know that you are stronger than “it” and will take control. You will be back on track 🙂

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