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Damage Count

Well… we had a fun night last night… it wasn’t very romantic even when it was a “Valentine Banquet” the tables were for 6 people so the guys were talking to the guys and the girls to the girls… then music started but since it was at church it seems romance was not exactly their strength LOL!… The name of the group that sang was “Evidence” WOW! Beautiful voices! and the food was very good… I could tell you what I eat (it wasn’t much though, which was good for me!) but I don’t want to be a stumbling block for those who are fighting the same war I am! let’s just say it was very tasty! and now… it is time to come back to “reality” and check how much that dinner really cost me:

Yesterday’s weight: 204.2             Today’s weight: 205.0

Well… we are not going to cry over spilled milk! LOL! especially because it is something PLANNED and not “me losing control” over food! I am ALSO PLANNING to lose it all this weekend! It is interesting how different the “after taste” is when you INDULGE with “full consciousness” of what you are doing rather than when you INDULGE out of being weak, losing control and just binging “purpose-less“… don’t get me wrong… I don’t like “the after-math” of my indulging last night, even if it was a little less than a pound… but I am ok and I know I am still walking strong towards my goal… But I realize it doesn’t feel like “I am defeated” or like a horrible “guilt” that makes you sick with yourself! and makes you “hate the moment you opened your mouth to let that food in!” so I can say that I really enjoyed the night, the food, the company and most of all… I enjoyed being able to WEAR A DRESS that I wouldn’t have been able to wear a month ago!!! My mind is still clear and I know what I have to do… so I have to go… need to have my breakfast and start drinking lots of water!

The Thin Lady Inside


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